Positive Relationship Building Empowering Emotionally Disturbed Students to

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Positive Relationship Building Empowering Emotionally Disturbed Students to Make Wise Choices By Vicki Butler,

Positive Relationship Building Empowering Emotionally Disturbed Students to Make Wise Choices By Vicki Butler, Coordinator Riverside County SELPA [email protected] k 12. ca. us

Acknowledgements I have borrowed heavily from Vicki Phillips book, Empowering Discipline (Personal Development Publishing,

Acknowledgements I have borrowed heavily from Vicki Phillips book, Empowering Discipline (Personal Development Publishing, P. O. Box 203, Carmel Valley, CA 93924 831 -659 -5913 ) Also from William Glasser’s Choice Theory Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman Positive classroom Discipline by Fredric H. Jones Brain Based Learning books and materials from Eric Jensen 2

Relationships Students will change only if we honor who they are now and help

Relationships Students will change only if we honor who they are now and help them discover how they might become more of who they are now by making some CHANGES Vicki Phillips 3

Your Success. . As an educator is more dependent on positive, caring, trustworthy RELATIONSHIPS,

Your Success. . As an educator is more dependent on positive, caring, trustworthy RELATIONSHIPS, Than on any skill, idea, tip or tool. Eric Jensen 4

Behavior Problems are a Signal They alert us to: Poor quality of life Little

Behavior Problems are a Signal They alert us to: Poor quality of life Little control in life Few Choices Poor Social Skills Poor Communication Skills STRESS 5

Problems With Punishment May reinforce negative attention seeking patterns Confirms student’s own poor selfconcept

Problems With Punishment May reinforce negative attention seeking patterns Confirms student’s own poor selfconcept Can reward non-compliance by increasing peer status Increases student resistance by setting up power struggles 6

More Problems Does not address the root of the problem Does not work for

More Problems Does not address the root of the problem Does not work for students with serious behavior problems Does not teach appropriate behavior Reactive, rather than proactive, so. . . Who’s in charge? 7

Understanding Behavior All behavior is a form of communication: 1. “Push-aways”: Protest Escape Avoid

Understanding Behavior All behavior is a form of communication: 1. “Push-aways”: Protest Escape Avoid (Remove an aversive) 8

Understanding Behavior All behavior is a form of communication: 2. “Pull-ins”: Gain or seek

Understanding Behavior All behavior is a form of communication: 2. “Pull-ins”: Gain or seek (Get reinforcement) 9

What is the Message? Careful observation What happens prior to behavior? And after? When

What is the Message? Careful observation What happens prior to behavior? And after? When does behavior not occur? What does student avoid and seek? What need is being met? WIIFM? 10

Teach Appropriate Behavior We need to teach students appropriate ways to get their needs

Teach Appropriate Behavior We need to teach students appropriate ways to get their needs met. Replacement Behaviors Problem Solving New Solutions 11

Strategies for Escaping Behaviors Give student more choices Make it fun Give student option

Strategies for Escaping Behaviors Give student more choices Make it fun Give student option to ask for a break Work together--Cooperative Learning More student input and planning More student involvement Use humor 12

Strategies for “Getting” Behaviors Spend individual time with the student. Let the student lead

Strategies for “Getting” Behaviors Spend individual time with the student. Let the student lead Give student choices Encourage peer tutoring Freedom--make deliveries, take a break, earn no homework, earn free activity time Student chooses peer and game 13

Strategies for Sensory Seeking Provide headphones for musical stimulation. Provide tactile stimulation--koosh balls, textured

Strategies for Sensory Seeking Provide headphones for musical stimulation. Provide tactile stimulation--koosh balls, textured items, soft items, water-play Provide vibrating pillows, etc. deep pressure--weighted vests or tight vests, or leg or wrist weights. Oral motor--something to chew 14

Meet the Need Everyone wants to meet his/her needs Teach appropriate ways to meet

Meet the Need Everyone wants to meet his/her needs Teach appropriate ways to meet needs Introduce replacement items or behaviors for undesirable behaviors Key into strengths 15

Look to Prevention Study the environment Look at your own behaviors and those of

Look to Prevention Study the environment Look at your own behaviors and those of others: when, where, how, before, after Determine the need-- help student meet it Structure carefully Keep the classroom positive Be creative Seek an outside observe 16

Problem with Control It is a losing battle There is no way to really

Problem with Control It is a losing battle There is no way to really control another person if they don’t want to be controlled We want students to develop self-control Difficult students want to be “POWERFUL and IN CHARGE, they want to be SELFDIRECTED” (Vicki Phillips) And isn’t that we want for them? Lets help them to control their own behavior 17

Four D’s of Discipline Develop Supportive Relationships Design a Classroom which is Structured for

Four D’s of Discipline Develop Supportive Relationships Design a Classroom which is Structured for Success Defuse (Detach, Disengage, and Deescalate) potential problems at the lowest possible level Debrief later so students can learn from their mistakes From Vicki Phillips 18

DEVELOPING Supportive Relationships Students need support Influence them to look at their choice and

DEVELOPING Supportive Relationships Students need support Influence them to look at their choice and evaluate them We need to help them make good choices Believe in them and in their future They have often lost hope 19

Developing Resilient Students Resiliency literature from Bonnie Bernard tells us that being believed in

Developing Resilient Students Resiliency literature from Bonnie Bernard tells us that being believed in and respected by just one caring, responsible adult is the key into turning an “at-risk” child into a child of promise We must keep a positive attitude; don’t let their negativism affect us Look for student strengths, point them out, help develop those strengths When students internalize your belief in them, your positive expectations for their progress, they become empowered to overcome the problems they face 20

Stumbling Blocks Strengths Hyperactive Willful Shouts out Stubborn Conceited/cocky Manipulative Disorganized as Energetic Determined

Stumbling Blocks Strengths Hyperactive Willful Shouts out Stubborn Conceited/cocky Manipulative Disorganized as Energetic Determined Enthusiastic Persistent Confident Persuasive Unstructured We can reframe a student’s liabilities into assets. Our liabilities are often just our strengths out of proportion 21

Talk to Your Neighbor What is a stumbling block that you have that might

Talk to Your Neighbor What is a stumbling block that you have that might be reframed as a strength? 22

Supportive classroom Teach students to support each other Teach them how harmful “put downs”

Supportive classroom Teach students to support each other Teach them how harmful “put downs” are, even if they are meant to be funny Research shows it takes 5 positives to counteract each “put down” Help them to be aware of “put downs, “bagging on” each other Talk to them about how they like to be treated Get them help you create a CLASSROOM CODE OF ETHICS (use the KIS method) Create a structure which will bring out the best in students 23

Classroom Code of Ethics One class came up with these four simple rules: Respect

Classroom Code of Ethics One class came up with these four simple rules: Respect others Appreciate diversity Conduct yourself with honor Do your best work Another brainstormed three words: Respect, Belong, Work Anyone likes to be asked their opinion! 24

DESIGN a classroom Structured for Success. . . Discuss with your neighbor what that

DESIGN a classroom Structured for Success. . . Discuss with your neighbor what that might look like. . . 25

Structured Students need: A predictable environment Clear boundaries Classroom assignments within their ability level

Structured Students need: A predictable environment Clear boundaries Classroom assignments within their ability level and in their learning style To be given choices Expectation that they will be responsible Time to reflect on choices they make 26

Structured for Success Point and Level System Points and levels must add up to

Structured for Success Point and Level System Points and levels must add up to reinforcers students want or consider desirable NEVER TAKE POINTS AWAY! Students can lose a level Students make choices to earn or not earn points Such a system allows them work toward something and to visibly see their progress 27

Need for Change We must meet the needs of these students who are not

Need for Change We must meet the needs of these students who are not succeeding We must begin to see them as students who learn differently We must address different learning styles 28

Children Learn Differently “All Children Don’t Learn in the Same Way. Some are good

Children Learn Differently “All Children Don’t Learn in the Same Way. Some are good at music, others at pictures, math, physical activities, words, people or outdoor skills. Howard Gardner, a Harvard University professor of education calls these skills multiple intelliences” Patricia Ansett 29

Engage and Involve Students Many Ed students have ADHD or are just highly anxious

Engage and Involve Students Many Ed students have ADHD or are just highly anxious ED students need interactive learning Teachers must engage and involve the learners Keep it moving and interesting Keep them guessing. . . What’s next? Down time is deadly 30

Interactive Learning Students need to interact in order to be involved Interact with the

Interactive Learning Students need to interact in order to be involved Interact with the teacher Interact with the material Interact with each other 31

Classroom Instruction That Works: Research-based Strategies for Increasing Student Achievement by Marzano, Pickering, Pollock

Classroom Instruction That Works: Research-based Strategies for Increasing Student Achievement by Marzano, Pickering, Pollock www. ascd. org Identifying similarities and differences Summarizing and note taking Reinforcing effort and providing recognition Nonlinguistic representations Homework and practice Cooperative Learning Setting objectives Generating and Testing Hypotheses Questions, cues, and advance organizers 32

Brain Compatible Instruction Neuroscientists and educators agree that children learn best when: Rote individual

Brain Compatible Instruction Neuroscientists and educators agree that children learn best when: Rote individual units are learned with rhythm or song Up to 30 repetitions may be needed to move info from working to long term memory Student is actively engaged by seeing, hearing, speaking, and DOING Eric Jensen, Brain Compatible Strategies 33

Retention of Information The brain retains information best when more than one of the

Retention of Information The brain retains information best when more than one of the five senses is used to learn. Patricia Ansett, March 2002, www. detroitfreepress. com 34

Exercise and Activity Boost Learning Increased blood flow brings more oxygen to the brain

Exercise and Activity Boost Learning Increased blood flow brings more oxygen to the brain Exercise can trigger the release of good feelings (endorphins) or challenge (hormone, adrenaline) Movement creates more enthusiasm and motivation Activities learned with the body are more likely to be recalled and applied later Eric Jensen 35

Challenge Them ED students like competition, challenges, and FUN! Use relays, games, puzzles, simulations,

Challenge Them ED students like competition, challenges, and FUN! Use relays, games, puzzles, simulations, and role playing Use material that is meaningful in their lives Discuss an interactive activity you have used or seen used with ED students and how it worked 36

DEFUSE Avoid Power Struggles Defuse problems at the lowest level An ounce of prevention.

DEFUSE Avoid Power Struggles Defuse problems at the lowest level An ounce of prevention. . Think a step ahead of the student; notice the signs of frustration, anger, etc. Look at the environment Look at student needs and help students meet their needs in a pro-social way The teacher’s job is NOT to CONTROL students, but to offer CHOICES and guidance to help them get their NEEDS met in a positive way 37

DEBRIEF Students must own the problem so they can learn from it William Glasser’s

DEBRIEF Students must own the problem so they can learn from it William Glasser’s Reality Therapy model asks student “What” and “How” questions He needs to see that his choices are not working for him in order to WANT to change 38

Planning Room Sometimes a neutral place where students can think and process is helpful

Planning Room Sometimes a neutral place where students can think and process is helpful When the student is calm the teacher/paraprofessional can talk with the student Ask questions and possibly participate in writing a plan to do things differently Students should be able to request to go to the planning room when he/she needs time away 39

Questions? ? ? Shift his/her perceptions What happened? What were you trying to make

Questions? ? ? Shift his/her perceptions What happened? What were you trying to make happen? How would that have helped you? What actually happened? How do you feel about that? What do you think will happen if you keep doing that? Can you think of a different way you could accomplish what you want without the negative consequences? 40

More Great Questions. . . What is your plan now? How can I help?

More Great Questions. . . What is your plan now? How can I help? Does this seem to be working for you? Is this behavior getting you what you want? A good message is, “That wasn’t like you. ” 41

Problem Solving ED students typically have difficulty with problem solving How do you help

Problem Solving ED students typically have difficulty with problem solving How do you help students solve problems? Talk with your neighbor. . . 42

Consequences There must be some consequences Consequences can help students learn, if we handle

Consequences There must be some consequences Consequences can help students learn, if we handle them correctly “It is much more effective to give consequences with empathy than with anger!” Vicki Phillips The student has earned a consequence, the teacher just implements the system already in place How can tone and intensity affect the delivery of consequences to students? 43

Social Skill Building We need to teach socially appropriate ways for students to meet

Social Skill Building We need to teach socially appropriate ways for students to meet their needs Problem solving techniques and Social skill training and practice Taking turns Getting attention Working in a group Showing interest and caring Settling conflicts without fighting Using appropriate language Focus on desirable replacement behaviors 44

Mental Health Services When we label a student as emotionally disturbed—we need to think

Mental Health Services When we label a student as emotionally disturbed—we need to think about therapy RCMH provides therapy under Ab 2726 Work to bring therapist to the program Need to make referrals and work with parents Mental Health personnel can work on social skills as well as emotional growth 45

Looking Deeper Four step approach to gathering information for intervention with behavior problems Determine

Looking Deeper Four step approach to gathering information for intervention with behavior problems Determine when behaviors present the greatest barrier to instruction Determine which behaviors are most problematic and identify alternative behaviors that are desirable Identify teacher, classmate, or environmental variables that precede and/or follow the undesired and desired behaviors Collect data on student and teacher behavior Patterns of student behaviors and Use the SELPA Behavior Plan teacher responses will emerge From Vicki Phillips 46

Four D’s of Discipline Develop Supportive Relationships Design a Classroom which is Structured for

Four D’s of Discipline Develop Supportive Relationships Design a Classroom which is Structured for Success Defuse (Detach, Disengage, and Deescalate) potential problems at the lowest possible level Debrief later so students can learn from their mistakes From Vicki Phillips 47

Sense of Humor Keep your sense of humor alive Students love a good sense

Sense of Humor Keep your sense of humor alive Students love a good sense of humor It helps prevent burn-out and leads to a longer, more enjoyable life Keep smiling—it’s contagious! 48

The best way to change student behavior. . Is to change OUR behavior

The best way to change student behavior. . Is to change OUR behavior