Positive Discipline Dr Shubhada Khirwadkar MDPediatrics MA Clinical

Positive Discipline Dr. Shubhada Khirwadkar MD(Pediatrics); MA ( Clinical Psychology) Pediatrician , Psychologist & Counselor, Tender Buds Child Clinic & Counseling Centre, Nagpur Please read the article on this topic. This presentation is a summary of the article. Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Discipline What is it? • Practice of training people to comply with rules • Behave well in a social set up. What does it teach? • It teaches to interact appropriately • Helps solve problems with consideration to self & others 2 Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

What Has Changed? Students Home & Gadgets Behavior School Rules Techniques of disciplining have to change! Teacher who teaches discipline also has to change! 3 Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Effective Discipline Promotes growth Helps Problem solving Builds Self esteem Teaches Proper social Interaction Inculcates ‘Self’ Discipline 4 Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Discipline Self Respect, Values Focus, setting goals Self Awareness Self Esteem of student 5 Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Making learning interesting Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Why disciplining Teen mind is difficult? Seeks instant pleasure/ rewards Cant plan, think of consequences Unable to inhibit /control urges Cant read others’ emotions Problems in interactions Not self aware of one’s potentials & limits Gets bored, tired easily & requires more sleep 6 Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Knowing needs of an adjusting Adolescent Biological Needs • Sleep, hunger, attraction to opposite gender Safety Needs • Warm & secure environment to express discomfort or commit mistakes Psychosocial Needs • Self esteem, Love, Respect, Appreciation 7 Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence Connect to these needs before correcting behavior ! ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Adjusting Adolescent: Processes Every adolescent has Needs, Desires, Competencies & Skills By Accommodation By Assimilation • They try to gain control over internal needs & desires • Eg : Paying attention despite distraction by peers • Tries to gain control over situation or environment • Eg : Poking fun, creating ruckus Maintaining discipline is a constant interplay between Internal Needs & External Demands 8 Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Common Misbehaviors 9 Shy or stubborn Silence Lack of participation Making personal attacks Knowing everything Manipulation, whining Trying to shoot you down Attention Seeking Exhibiting physical Power Making fun, taunting Resistance angry, belligerent Combative behavior Wandering Rambling Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Science of Misbehavior Nobody is born with bad behavior Every misbehavior occurs for a reason Better behavior ‘effectively’ learnt by: • shaping, modeling, extinction A kind but firm teacher • can use her energy positively Long term behaviour change is possible 10 Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Issues behind Adolescent Misbehavior DISCIPLINE Adjustment issues: parents, peers, school Learning Difficulties Managing Anger, Anxiety Negative emotions/Urges Adventure seeking, Risk taking/thrill to defy rules Independent thinking vs Influence of Peer & Media 11 Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Misbehavior is more in a Classroom when… 12 Students don’t know the teacher’s expectations Students don’t know how to exhibit expected behavior Students unaware that they are engaged in misbehavior Misbehavior provides student the desired outcome Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Immediate Goals of Misbehavior Exhibition of Power Seeking Revenge Seeking Attention Disinterest/ Feeing of inadequacy 13 Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Development of Antisocial Behavior (Patterson, De Baryshe & Ramsey, 1989) Poor parental Discipline / Monitoring/ Neglect Rejection by peers teachers Conduct Problems Early Childhood Bad news Good news Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Academic Failure Commitment to a deviant peer group Middle Childhood Delinquency Late Childhood & Adolescence • Long-term risk increases with each stage • We can take kids off this developmental pathway Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Punishment Vs Discipline Punishment Choice for correct behavior & encourages growth in personality Makes a child “pay for” by inflicting pain, emotional suffering Long term aim Developing future good behavior, problem solving, Self Discipline Paying for something done in the past often with unrelated penalties Attitude in which it is done Kindness & Firmness Anger/ Frustration How it makes children feel Secure & Hopeful Fearful, angry, hostile, guilty, ashamed Purpose Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

What is Positive Discipline? Positive Discipline ( PD) Model Focuses on positive points of a behavior There are no good or bad children Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 There are only good or bad behaviors Good behavior taught by praising good efforts Understanding Adolescence Negative behavior weaned without physical/ verbal hurt Teacher remains calm, kind & friendly in disciplining ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Big Five of Positive Discipline Helps students feel a sense of Belonging & Importance Being kind & firm at the same time brings Change Helps learn Problem solving, Listening & self soothing skills 17 Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Has long term effect on Thinking, Feeling & behavior Helps develop a sense of their own capability Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Rules of the game… Set Limits & Define Rules with children Get advanced, discussed contract of behavior Clarify consequences & follow through firmly Give choices for correcting misbehavior Within boundaries give independence & let go Always ‘Listen’ to underlying schema of Behavior 18 Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Positive Discipline: Steps Step 1: Involve children in framing clear & fair rules Step 5 : Use Extinction or shaping being kind & firm 19 Step 2: Clarify expectations consistently Step 4: Step 3: Reinforce appropriate behavior Show trust that problems can be solved together Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Positive Discipline Techniques Have a positive attitude towards change Be fair, consistent & cool Know students well Treat with respect Don't humiliate No compromise on Teaching skills Help students work on their social-emotional skills. Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Withdraw few privileges, if Misbehavior Get students engaged with appropriate body language Circulate around the classroom involving everyone Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Check Your Communication… Is it ‘HAIL’ ? Honest Assertive Integrity Love 21 Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Assertiveness for Discipline See Emotional mirror Words Civil Tone 22 Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Body Posture & movement s Face and Eyes Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Positive discipline: Don’ts Discuss negatives in staff room Judging & labeling Giving Excuses/ Blaming My Way is the Best! Keeping Rules very rigid Negative attitude Constant complaining 23 Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Disciplining is a Skill… • Sustained • Knowledge • Internalization • Learning • Life’s Challenges 24 Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Better Methods Balance in Life Increased Self Confidence 25 Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Positive Discipline practiced as SKILL gives you Smarter Decisions Get More Done in Less Time Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Case Rohan is a 15 year old disruptive student Talkative - often makes fun of peers in class Behaves rudely with teachers Passes comments & generally has a challenging attitude Understand: Rohan, as adolescent has reasons to misbehave He lacks skills to behave He is student with problems & not a problem student Back yourself : behaviors change if appropriately tackled Know: More about him by talking, engaging with him daily (2 by 7) Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

Steps Involved I • Students were involved in framing rules • Remind him of rules & express trust that he will follow them for sure II • Clarify stepped up consequences assertively • Warn - Give Choices: Move alone to front / Time out of 20 min III IV V • Take action firmly after explaining that he is capable of change • He sat quietly for some time, appreciate publicly. • If he has other talents, good deeds, praise specifically. Let go minor slip ups. • Misbehavior repeats. Repeat the process patiently, firmly Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

How to use Positive Discipline in these situations… Attention Seeking Message: I am counted only when I misbehave Code: (Notice me & Involve me usefully) Redirect to useful tasks Say what you will do (we will have extra time later) & Follow IT Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Incomplete work Message : I am incapable I am not interested Rule breaking is Ok; Teacher not bothered Code: Help, Talk to me, Motivate me Frame & Clarify rules assertively; Follow through; Connect & Go to root of the problem; Praise effort; Create interest Understanding Adolescence Seeking Revenge Message: Hurt, Disgust, Insult How could you do this to me? Code: Validate feelings Help me to belong Acknowledge feelings; Listen well; Avoid retaliation; Use class meetings to build trust ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP

A food for your thought… Why do adolescents test teachers’ & parents’ limits ? Happy Thinking Happy Disciplining THANK YOU ! 29 Teachers Self Learning Module 2019 Understanding Adolescence ©Adolescent Health Academy IAP