Play Party Safety and Etiquette Workshop BDSM GEN

Play Party Safety and Etiquette Workshop BDSM. GEN. NZ

Dress Code Fetish Themes Black Encouraged – any effort appreciated

What Happens at a Play Party Socialising Dressing Up ‘Play’ Scenes Role Play Service See and Be Seen!

Dungeon Monitors What is a DM? How are they chosen? Who are they? What do they do? Monitor play for safety Facilitate / Act as an intermediary Explain use of equipment ‘Watching Eyes’ Answer questions! DM Decisions are made on behalf of the group and are final

Venue First Aid Kit Fire Extinguisher Wipes Sharps disposal Non-Smoking Music Social areas Recovery Area(s)

Labels May have many roles in BDSM No need to label yourself Real names vs. Scene names Use the name requested by someone, even if you know them by another name Honorifics No need to use honorifics No one can make you use them! Not using them is not disrespectful In a scene, you may negotiate use of honorifics

That’s yes Mistress to you, boy!

Noise During a scene, senses are heightened Loud unexpected noises can break a scene Comments from observers are easily heard Long conversations are best taken to the social area

Privacy What happens at a party stays at a party! • Venue • Who was there • What they did • Even what you did, if it might reveal someone elses involvement

Cameras At discretion of hosts – usually controlled or not welcome at most parties All people in a photo must know and agree to being photographed Photos are not for ‘publication’ unless with full agreement of all parties May be an official photographer, or official photo area Be aware of flash disturbing other scenes Supervision of photography by DMs

Alcohol may be taken to a party Moderate consumption OK Intoxicated people won’t be allowed to play at DMs discretion may be removed from venue

Drugs Illegal drugs are not permitted at parties People under the influence of drugs will be told to leave Endorphins are legal, and encouraged

Respect People Touching, even hugging, may not be appropriate unless you ask first Venue Equipment Club Personal Damage

Equipment Club Equipment Ask a DM if you need help using it Some needs more than one person to use safely Personal Equipment Label it if possible Keep it contained, neat and tidy Remove from play space when you’ve finished Ask permission before touching or using another persons equipment Report any damage!

STDs & Hygiene Condoms Gloves Cleaning wipes – use before and after playing on equipment Sharps, Blood etc Personal hygiene Declare your STD status!

Private Rooms/Areas Using Entering during scenes Door Open vs. Door Closed

Scenes Consist of three main parts Negotiation Play Sub Space/Dom Space Aftercare Some of these things may occur before or even after the party! May not be obvious to others Do not interfere! If you see something which concerns you, ask a DM

Play Two or more people Many types of play Impact, Role Play, Electrical Sensation Play, Wax, Watersports Mummification, Bondage, Humiliation …. “Edge Play” Needles, Knives, Blood, Suspension, Asphyxiation

Negotiation Experience Levels (Top *and* Bottom) See the Negotiation guidelines DMs will help with negotiation at play parties – just ask Trying things for the first time

Safe-words Play stops instantly! Intervention from outside a scene Party Safe word vs. personal safe words “Traffic light” system

Bondage Safety Materials Restraint methods – possible need for fast removal Avoiding pressure points Checking for circulation problems – finger check Never leave restrained person unattended Gags and blindfolds – non-verbal safewords Warmth/cold

Impact play Thud verses sting Go slowly until you establish likes and dislikes and levels of play Areas of the body for impact play “Safe” areas “No-go” areas Wrapping

Sensation Play Wax Types of candles – avoid beeswax and metallic candles Variation in melting points Removal methods Use of drop-sheets Ice Feathers, wool, fur, textures Mummification

Role Play/Humiliation Can be less visual type of play Is still a scene – do not interfere Be aware this type of play can cause “triggering” Safe words are just as important

Electrical Play Need for robust negotiation and health issues Types of electrical toys Areas to avoid i. e. . Across the body

Edge Play Needles, knives, blood, suspension Discuss with a DM before starting your scene Be prepared to answer questions about your level of expertise in the area Accept the DMs decision Be aware people may not wish to watch, use a private area or wait until later in the night Provide your own safety gear and be scrupulous with clean up

Nudity & Sex Nudity is OK No staring – watch with respect Sex is OK Not all groups allow it Barriers provided, recommended Water Sports Only if ‘wet area’, will be announced at start of party Scat, Underage, Animals Not permitted

Aftercare People get into ‘altered spaces’ during play ‘Drop’ Sub drop Top drop Aftercare is expected! Normally Doms responsibility *DO* ask for help if you need it Approaching people after a scene

Safety for private play Many of same rules regarding safety apply No DMs around, but your local group can help Meeting people from internet/ads Public place i. e. . Café Get lots of personal info and write it down Have a safe call in place if possible. Your local group can provide this for you Park in a well lit area Not a good idea to play at first meeting