Pet Loss and Grief Presentation developed by Emily

Pet Loss and Grief Presentation developed by Emily Armstrong, VSW intern

What is Grief? Grief is “an emotional suffering caused by death or bereavement. Grief involves a sequence of thoughts and feelings that follow the loss and accompanying mourning. Grief is a process, and as a result is not a specific emotion like fear or sadness but instead is a constellation of feelings that can be expressed by many thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Grief is the internal meaning given to the external event”—A. Wolfelt

Why are People Attached to Pets? Pets are considered: n Companions n Best friends n Family members Pets meet social and emotional needs of pet owners by: n Providing mutual support n Providing unconditional love n Being part of daily activities and routines n Witnessing and sharing life experiences

Human-Animal Bond

Human Animal Bond n Why do we get attached to animals? q q q q We saved them from death We relied on them during a difficult life transition We spent our childhood with them They are our main source of support We have spent a lot of resources on them They are our links to other people that have died Animals seem to have human-like traits

Examples of human-like traits

When the Bond is Broken… n n Losing a pet Experiencing grief

Theories on Grief n n 5 Stage Model of Grief (Kubler Ross 1969) Cowles and Rodgers (1991)

Pet Loss and Disenfranchised Grief n n n Pet loss is a minimized loss No recognized way of grieving Pet loss is not socially accepted

Symptoms of Grief Personal and individual process Aspects of grief may be influenced by, but not limited to, gender, cultural practices, religion, and societal norms n n n Physical Intellectual Emotional Social Spiritual

Physical Symptoms n n n n Fatigue Tearfulness Sleep disturbances Eating disturbances Shock Numbness Stomach ache Restlessness

Intellectual Symptoms n n n Denial Confusion Inability to concentrate Feeling preoccupied by the loss A need to talk about the loss Thoughts or fantasies about suicide

Emotional Symptoms n n n n Depression Anger Guilt Anxiety Blame Embarrassment Hopelessness Helplessness

Social Symptoms n n n n Isolation Withdrawal Increased dependency on others Rejection of others and/or by others Desire to move Feel the need to stay busy Change in friends

Spiritual Symptoms n n Bargaining with Higher Power Feeling anger or resentful towards Higher Power Searching for meaning Questioning one’s faith

Things That Make Pet Loss More Difficult n n n Feeling responsible for the death Feeling guilty Lack of coping skills No previous losses Recent losses

Special Circumstances n n n Euthanasia When A Pet goes Missing Anticipating the Loss

Grief and Children n n n Do Children Grieve the Same Way? Euthanasia Accidents What will my child do? What Should I Say? What Should I NOT Say? What Should I Do?

Developmental Stages of Grief (Children’s Grief Center of New Mexico) Age Concept of Death Task to Master Grief Response Ages 2 -5 Death is temporary Permanent Regression; Questions; Confusion Elementary School Age Starting to understand irreversibility; Interest in body and details of death Not reversible Regression; Questions; Repetitive questioning; Fear of death Mid - High School Age Ability to think Universal; abstractly. Can Unavoidable conceptualize death. “Adult-like response; ” Denial, Anger, Depression.

When Should I Get A New Pet? n n The timing is different for everyone! Questions to consider

How Can I Say Goodbye? n Write down the story of your pet and the relationship you had n Write a poem n Have a ceremony or memorial n Attend a pet-loss support group n Donate to a favorite animal charity n Join an animal advocacy group n Create a memory book or scrapbook n Plant a memory tree or garden n Donate items to a local animal shelter n Write a letter to the deceased pet

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