PART III Habits Happy Monday Please sit next

PART III: Habits Happy Monday!!! Please sit next to one partner today. This person will help to support you in the formation of a new, Emotional Styles building habit. Design and planning will happen at the end of class.

(http: //jamesclear. com/three-steps-habit-change)

Understanding Emotional Habits How we feel involves habitual reactions to memories associated with: – Negativity, like hurt, anger, sadness, anxiety, and shame – Positivity, like trust, joy, and love

Habits • Automatic responses / an autopilot system – Does not require conscious attention – Learned and maintained by reward • Can be a behavior, thought, physiological or emotional response

(http: //jamesclear. com/three-steps-habit-change)

All habits are learned and maintained by reinforcement Reinforcement increases the likelihood of repetition by improving one’s immediate state of well- being. Such “improvement” can be: – Positive: OK to good – Negative: Bad to OK (or less bad) So, a response can be reinforced without feeling good or euphoric. – Ex. , Partial relief of an on-going pain stimulus

Stress-Based Habits Stress Increases the value of immediate benefits • Amplifies dopamine firing • When stressed, the brain favors solutions to immediate problems, not longer-term goals. • Prioritizes quick fixes SO, . . . Stress makes us more likely to engage easy habits with immediate benefit (i. e. bad habits)

Neurotransmitters in reinforcement circuits • Dopamine: associated with the expectation of reinforcement (not actual pleasure) – Drive, push to respond, motivation, orienting to salient stimuli. . . And craving • Opioid and serotonin circuits are more associated with affective / pleasure states – Am I OK? , comfort, relief

The good news: no matter the habit, we always have the ability to consciously intervene. • The cortex and basal ganglia communicate to learn new habits and modify them. These include: – Reward-based habits (ex, text message) – Attention-based habits (ex, acting out in class) – Thought-based habits (ex, anticipating a conflict)

REMEMBER, . . . habits are not always good. Many substances of abuse artificially elevate dopamine activity (part of the brain’s reinforcement system). • • • Alcohol Tobacco Marijuana Opioids Stimulants Sedatives

Five things you can do in only 21 days to rewire your brain for lasting positive change: 1) Write down 3 things each day for which you are grateful. 2) Journal about one positive experience each day to help your brain relive it. 3) Exercise daily to teach your brain that your behavior matters, not just what you think or say. 4) Meditate to allow yourself to focus on the task at hand. 5) Do conscious acts of kindness every day to create a habit of looking for positive ways to engage. DEVELOP A PLAN TO CREATE A NEW HABIT WITH THE HELP OF YOUR PARTNER.

PART IV: Happiness & Your Health

4 Categories of Conscious Interventions of Happy People 1) Happiness & Health – Stress & Physical Resilience 2) Positive Mood & Thoughts – Depression/Anxiety Resistant thinking – Coping – Optimism 3) Interpersonal Awareness – Self-expression – Compassion and Renewal – Acceptance of Self and Others 4) Calming the Overactive Brain

1) HAPPINESS & HEALTH “Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life. ”

Control helps to reduce the impact of stressful situations • A sense of control over stress – Stressors aren’t stressful if you think you can escape or solve them at will – The brain has a system for turning off the stress systems (dorsal raphe nuclei) when we think we have control over the stressful situation.

The Stress-Resistant Mind • Happy people view problems as predictable and controllable – Stress management protects against the toxic effects of cortisol on the heart, immune system, and the brain (ex: impaired short-term memory)

How to Increase Your Sense of Control • Assess stressors to identify things you can control • Preplan (but don’t “project”) – Avoid situations where you cannot ensure basic safety – Have a plan for resolving the stressor already worked out and tools ready • Problem-solve (very important!) – You’re not born with this, you learn it. . . How?

Problem-Solving (continued) • Prefrontal cortex can learn and use complex strategies to solve problems and enact solutions • Learning and practicing multiple strategies increases one’s cognitive ability and flexibility in solving problems and increases one’s ability and confidence in escaping stressful situations

SO, figure out how to help stressed people feel more in control, schedule and pace themselves, and balance work and play, and watch their happiness grow!

To Reduce Stress-Driven Habits: • Schedule and pace yourself and those you lead • Incorporate work & rest cycles – Recognize that overdoing it leads to inefficiency!

Developing Resilience (to anger, depression, anxiety) is like a muscle – it can be built up! • Anticipate challenges • Recognize emotional amplifiers • Use your resources (past experiences, social support. . . ) • Act resilient (“fake it ‘til you make it”)

UNHEALTHY Coping Strategies • Escaping through food, alcohol, and drugs • Rumination • Shaming, blaming, and inflaming Frequency is what makes these things bad. They activate the dopamine circuit; so they are habit forming and we crave them. I. E. , a person can crave blaming just like he craves alcohol. We want them without liking them. This is addiction.

DAY V: Positive Thinking

2) POSITIVE MOODS AND THOUGHTS “The purpose of our lives is to be happy. ” ~ Dalai Lama

HEALTHY Coping Strategies • Reappraisal • Problem-Solving • Shifting attention to positive states “move a muscle, change a thought” • Acceptance None of these activate the dopamine circuit. I. E. , there is no unhealthy reinforcement. We like them without wanting/craving them.

Depression-Resistant Mindset Happy people are able to see their problems as temporary, impersonal, and solvable.

Anxiety-Resistant Mindset Happy people identify automatic thoughts and judgments that are maladaptive and revise (reframe) them in a positive way. Vs. unhappy people reinforce the maladaptive thought.

Acquired Optimism (= a habit!) Happy people practice the habit of optimistic thinking. (Yes, it can become habitual!) – Improves sleep, elevates mood, and reduces worry

Adaptive Coping Happy people identify and overcome the tendency to ruminate, escape, deny or ignore sensitive issues. • Instead, they focus on how to recover from setbacks and ways to master challenges Give the “expert’s opinion” a try! (Find a mentor!)

Cultivating Optimism Happy people Identify and dispute pessimistic thoughts. – Cite evidence: show that it is factually incorrect. Ask what’s the evidence for this belief? (Most events have many causes. ) – Decatastrophize: worst case scenario? – Recall empowering times. – Envision future success. The Math of Love

DAY VI: Visualization

Articulating Your Best Possible Self King, 2001: study about envisioning & focusing on a positive future – Enhanced mood & well-being – Decreased doctor visits – Improved test performance Why does it work? • Encourages optimism, self-esteem, long-term planning • You construct a clear narrative of what you want and how you might get it

Visualize/articulate your “best possible self” Imagine yourself in the future, after everything has gone as well as it possibly could. You have worked hard and succeeded at accomplishing all of your life goals. Think of this as the realization of your life dreams, and of your own best potentials.

SO. . . Try it! Activity: Journal about you having a happy future. . . It’s like building muscles in a gym. Write detailed descriptions of what your happiest life might be like. Focus on both personal (romantic relationships, health, . . . ) and professional/academic life (school and career goals. . . ) Results will take time and effort. But King’s test suggests that just one journal entry per week will make you happier and physically healthier.

Positive psychology (including sports psychology) places a strong emphasis on visualizing desired outcomes. Emily Cook, US Olympic Freestyle Skier Jim Carrey, Comedian

Hopes and Expectations • Happy people strive to create positive hopes and expectations (for self and others) – Expectations influence our perceptions of what happened (This, btw, is one reason why your presentation’s introductory hook is always so important!)

DAY VII: Developing Awareness

3) INTERPERSONAL AWARENESS “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. ” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Recapturing Positive Memories • Happy people look fondly on positive past events. – Reminiscing with old friends – Photography – Scrapbooking • “When you tell a story about your life, it encourages you to tell a better story. ”

Expressing Needs Happy people communicate emotional concerns in ways that facilitate meaningful change instead of triggering conflict.

The Habits of Happy Couples Self-less rather than selfish concerns transform relationships (from “me” to “we”)

Sharing Gratitude and Love Happy people communicate gratitude to their friends and love to family in ways that strengthens bonds. This, btw, offers the biggest happiness reward for the least amount of effort. The payoff is huge! So, do it! The Science of Happiness

DON’T FORGET: Counting our daily blessings and expressing gratitude to others meaningfully enhances our happiness. “We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude. ” ~ Cynthia Ozick

How do you act when people share good news? Ways of Responding (S. Gable et al)

Gratitude Expressing Activities 1) Count your blessings journal – “Write down three good things that happened today. ” – Why does it work? • • • Counteracts adaptation Positive re-construal Can validate goals and choices 2) Savoring / Appreciating – “Look around your environment and take note of one or more things that you often take for granted. . . ” 3) Expressing gratitude to those who have made a difference through thank you letters and visits – Adds an interpersonal component

Additional Strategies • Self-Compassion and Renewal – Healing time creates happiness • Accepting Limitations – Happy people accept their own limitations and those of others – This helps to reduce regret and the tendency to ruminate • Acceptance of Others – Happy people accept traits in others that are unlikely to change (Vance calls them his wife’s “adorable traits. ”) – Happy people attain the self-healing gift of forgiveness

To enhance gratitude and savoring, focus on endings. “Think about the fact that you only have a short amount of time left in this experience” • Associated with increases in – Subjective well-being – Activities to make the most of remaining time • Why does it work? – Inhibits adaptation – Helps prioritize goals – Creates “now or never” motivation • “Vacation state of mind”

Self-Acceptance and the Gifts of Imperfection Happy people tame their “inner critic” that demands unattainable standards and embrace who they truly are. “The Spirit Path” in authentic Navajo art Note: perfectionists tend to be among the least happy of personality types.

Purpose Having life goals, values, and higher meaning that engages the mind and promotes the greater good also offers tremendous health benefits. • Purpose is found through commitment to meaningful goals, religion, and work, relationships. . . • Pursue SIGNIFICANCE vs. success • Establish a vision "Every single one of us has a good work to do in life. This good work not only accomplishes something needed in the world but completes something in us. “ ~ Flannery O'Connor

DAY 8: Laughter!

Why is humor important to happiness? • Relief Theory – Laughter is a homeostatic mechanism to reduce tension • Humor as a Defense Mechanism – Overt expression of ideas and feelings too unpleasant or terrible to talk about that gives pleasure to others. Tig Notaro on Conan • Humor elicits LAUGHTER (hopefully)

Finding Humor in Everyday Life • Taking seriously the healing power of humor and laughter to reduce stress and to elevate mood.

Laughter Helps: • Lower blood pressure • Give a workout to the diaphragm and abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg, and back muscles • Reduce certain stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline • Increase the response of tumor and disease killing cells such as Gamma-interferon and T-cells • Defend against respiratory infections- even reducing the frequency of colds by immunoglobulin in saliva • Increase memory and learning • Improve alertness, creativity, and memory Jim Gaffigan: 4 children

Prosocial Behavior Other people represent our greatest potential for happiness. That means HEALTHY relationships. NOT dependence on others for happiness!

Connecting • Our friends and loved ones offer one of the greatest sources of happiness • Happy people ACTIVELY cultivate interpersonal connections. – Not just facebook or texting – Face time, activities, celebrations! “Remember that the quality of a relationship is related directly to the amount of time invested in it. Make sure you give some of your best time to your relationships. ” ~ Mark Sanborn

Focus on interpersonal relationships • Interpersonal relationships are extremely important – We are inherently social – Buffer in times of trouble – Remove self-focus – Encourage multiple roles – Change self-image – Put problems in perspective – Elicit positive feedback – Strengthens community ties

DAY IX: Mindfulness & Meditation

4) CALMING THE OVERACTIVE BRAIN

MINDFULNESS • Experiencing moment-to-moment awareness of thoughts and feelings without judgment • Practicing meditation on a regular basis Andy Puddicombe: 10 minutes of mindfulness Happy people take the time to lose track of time.

Mindfulness • The awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally to the unfolding of experience moment to moment (Kabat-Zinn, 2003). • The non-judgmental observation of the ongoing stream of internal and external stimuli as they arise (Baer, 2003). • Keeping one's complete attention to the experience on a moment to moment basis (Martlett & Kristeller, 1999).

Mindlessness • Breaking things, spilling things, clumsiness, accidents because of carelessness, inattention or thinking about something else • Failing to notice subtle or not-so-subtle feelings of physical discomfort, pain, tension, etc. • Forgetting someone's name as soon as you hear it • Listening to someone with one ear while doing something else at the same time • Getting so focused on goals that I lose touch with what I am doing right now • Getting lost in my thoughts and feelings • Being preoccupied with the future or the past • Eating without being aware of eating • Having periods of time where you have difficulty remembering the details of what happened – running on autopilot • Reacting emotionally in certain ways – feeling like an emotion just "came out of nowhere" • Daydreaming or thinking of other things when doing chores • Doing several things at once rather than focusing on one thing at a time • Distracting yourself with things like eating, alcohol, pornography, drugs, work

Mindfulness Meditation • Acceptance of the moment • Requires a sense of control over stress, and balanced assessment of reward opportunities • Improvements in acceptance/mindfulness are associated with recovery from many disorders • Practice in safe, pleasant circumstances to start

Mindfulness-based Stress Meditation Helps reduce activity in the amygdala and orbitofrontal cortex (so that we don’t feel as though we must respond to threats, which is a consistent feeling for people who are stressed). Note: Too much self-awareness is associated with anxiety disorder, stress.

Mindful Meditation Example Twice a day for 5 to 10 minutes (over 2 months): 1) Choose a time of day when you are most awake and alert. Sit upright, keeping the spine straight. 2) Focus on your breathing, the sensations it triggers. Notice how your abdomen moves with each breath. 3) If you become distracted, return your focus to breathing.

Changes in the brain can be observed after Mindfulness training. • Non-meditators: – After an 8 week mindfulness training increased left frontal activation (where happiness and resilience happens) • Mindful meditators: – Thicker insula and prefrontal cortex • Thickness correlated with number of years meditating

“You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you’re too busy. Then you should sit for an hour. ” ~ Zen proverb

Fostering mindfulness can assist with habit expression. • Automatic reactions account for 95% of human behavior (Bargh & Chartrand, 1999) – Not “chosen” – Consciously chosen behaviors deplete far more energy than automatic • Increasing moment to moment awareness can help discourage undesirable habits, encourage others.

DAY X: Summary

SO, to summarize: The best kind of happiness is a behavior that becomes a habit.

Very important to. . . • • • Address insomnia Leave enough time for sleep Avoid caffeine, alcohol, and pharmaceutical sleep aids Adults need 7 -9 hours of sleep each night <4 or >10 consistently is linked to clinical depression

Improving sleep adequacy and quality • The dangers of lack of sleep – 49% of MDs who were on call reported falling asleep while driving – 42% of junior physicians reported a fatigue related medical error in the last six months – Sleeping < 5 hours a night is associated with the development of diabetes – Sleep deprivation increases negative risk taking and immediate reward seeking behaviors

Energizing and Relaxing Habits • Engage in challenging and enjoyable physical activities • Relaxation through mood elevation to promote deep sleep – Minimize the impact of stress Happy people are more physically active, and the physically active are more happy!

SO, Develop Good Emotional Habits! The acquisition of positive emotional skills can lead to the development of automatic mood-elevating emotional habits. effort! Train Your Brain! But it takes

Changing emotional habits is difficult: • Somewhat genetically determined (50%) • Negative thoughts and feelings serve an important function, to a point. • In general, bad emotional habits have a stronger pull than good and have been reinforced over time. But. . . make peace with what cannot be easily changed, and give it a try!

A biological basis does not imply that change is impossible. The brain is the same. It doesn’t grow, but it can rearrange itself (“neuroplasticity”).

AFTER ALL. . . experiences can promote changes in the brain. (Hard to change, but not impossible!) • Many structural elements of the brain are significantly modified by life experiences early in life and throughout the lifespan. • But, potentials for neuroplasticity do exist! – Neurogenesis: birth of new neurons – Dendrite proliferation (new pathways between cells) – Synaptogenesis (the brain codes new habits) – Re-routing & strengthening neural works

Brain-Derived Neurotropic Factor (BDNF) (a secreted protein in the brain) • Supports existing neurons, encourages growth of new neurons & synapses • Decreased by stress, can lead to atrophy of the hippocampus and depression • Increased by: – Some psychiatric drugs, such as antidepressants – Intellectual stimulation – And EXERCISE

Exercise Makes You Happy

Antidepressants vs Physical Activity • Clinical depression study (Blumenthal, 1999) Three treatment groups: Antidepressant medication Aerobic exercise Both • All experienced relief from depression – Six months later, the exercise group were less likely to relapse!

Applying Positive Psychology • Empower the creative, social, and self-aware prefrontal cortex to form positive habits by adding variety and flexibility to make positive habits become automatic. Practice makes habits!

Changing Reward-Based Habits Tame immediate gratification by using the wisdom of the prefrontal cortex to inhibit maladaptive habits and initiate positive ones. The key = Being more mindful.

Healthy Activities • Practice the power of proactive thinking to develop the courage to change and the patience to make incremental progress. (Change doesn’t happen over night. )

Fulfillment • Substitute dopamine-related sources of craving and everyday addictions for endorphin -related sources of joy and fulfillment. – Problem-solving instead of escape. – Shifting attention instead of rumination. – Acceptance instead of blaming.

Enhancing Resilience to Stress • Master mental and physical challenges to prepare to cope effectively with major psychological stress or life-threatening conditions. Experience builds resiliency. Be adventurous!

Act happy to be happy • Facial Feedback – Smiling • Behavioral Feedback – “Give yourself a round of applause” • Acting like a happier person ultimately makes you a happier person

Talk about it/teach others: Doesn’t it seem like the people who talk about the power of positive thinking usually seem pretty happy, positive, and successful?

Additional Strategies • Take care of your body – Regular exercise – Healthy diet – Sleep • Curtail social comparisons • Consider how to best spend your money – On other people – Experiences vs. material things • Simplify your life (avoid “stuffocation”)

DAY XI: Conclusion

YEAH, BUT WHY?

The Benefits of Being Happier • Happier people are: – More sociable & energetic – More likely to form lasting relationships – More productive – More resilient – Earn more – Have stronger immune systems – Maintain cognitive fitness – Live longer

Top 5 Regrets of BHS Seniors, Class of 2014 1 OR I wish I had worked harder on some aspect of school (academics or extra-curriculars). I wish I hadn’t worked so hard and put my schoolwork above my own health & well-being. *Lesson : Find a balance! Work hard and make time for fun and rest. 2 I wish I had branched out to meet more people and had taken advantage of more opportunities (like joining clubs, attending school events, and pursuing other interests). *Lesson: Be adventurous and take initiative! Make a habit of saying yes to opportunities. 3 I wish I had spent more time with my closest friends/family/and teachers. *Lesson: Honor your most important relationships! Choose to make time for them. 4 I wish I had been more confident and independent instead of going with the crowd. *Lesson: Be aware of “the approval virus” and choose to be yourself! 5 I wish I hadn’t worried so much (about many things, much of which really doesn’t matter. ) *Lesson: Gain perspective and demonstrate self-discipline! Plan and visualize, but don’t project.

So is unhappiness.

According to your quiz, you’ve already made your choice! 1) Generally speaking, I would rather be HAPPY or SAD most of the time. 2) Generally speaking, I tend to like people more who display a POSITIVE or NEGATIVE attitude. 3) On any given day, I would rather be RELAXED AND CALM or WORRIED AND STRESSED. 4) When completing an important task, I do best when I am FOCUSED ONLY ON THAT TASK or when I am FOCUSED ON THAT TASK AND OTHER THINGS UNRELATED TO THAT TASK. 5) TRUE or FALSE: 6) TRUE or FALSE: Being happy is one of my essential life goals. A teacher at some point in my educational career has attempted to help me to learn how to be happy as part of a course curriculum.

Your happiness cheat sheet

Coming up: Vance O’Donnell