National Assessment Program Literacy and Numeracy Narrative Writing

National Assessment Program – Literacy and Numeracy Narrative Writing Task: training for markers

Why we are here • To become familiar with the rubric for marking the NAPLAN Writing task. • To apply the rubric by marking training scripts.

Schedule Session 1 • review of the student task • introduction to the marking guide • explanation of criteria 1 4 and marking 2 example scripts Session 2 • explanation of criteria 6 10 and marking 2 example scripts • Prepare to mark qualification scripts

The task is to write a narrative

This is a demand writing task Students must write a story, although they can respond to the stimulus in a range of ways. • They can tell a story that is: • an imaginative story • an adventure story • a mystery story • a horror story • a romance • a fantasy • …

This means they have to know and be able to craft those forms. For example, they need to know that … a mystery has: • • • a setting • • • clues characters event/s — complication (cause and effect; problem and solution) elements of suspense resolution — at least to some extent.

An adventure story has • a setting in time and place • characters — may not be well developed, one dimensional • event/s complication which builds in a sustained way to a climax (cause and effect; problem and solution) • a strong focus on the action • resolution — at least to some extent.

A horror story • can take the overall form of an adventure, a mystery, 1 st person narration • uses subject matter that is unusual or abnormal in a normal situation or is very normal in an abnormal context • the emphasis is on the elements of suspense • at least one of characters is extreme with a single element of that character’s personality being relentlessly developed.

Writers need to take a narrator stance – and hold it • 1 st person narrator stance – uses “I” – sees through the eyes of a story character. • 3 rd person narrator stance – uses “they” – takes the perspective of an unseen narrator – has two main types: • all knowing • knowing only what the characters know.

Organisation of the marking guide The manual has • the 10 criteria pages • annotated samples • a general glossary of grammatical terms • a reference list of spelling.

Page format Skill focus Gr ad es Category descriptor Additional information Sample scripts Some pages also have extra notes about the skill focus.

Criteria maximum score points Criterion Marks Audience 0 -6 Text structure 0 -4 Ideas 0 -5 Character AND setting 0 -4 Vocabulary 0 -5 Cohesion 0 -4 Paragraphing 0 -2 Sentence structure 0 -6 Punctuation 0 -5 Spelling 0 -6 Note the weighting of the criteria and mark points on the surface features.

Zero scores Before beginning to mark it is important to note that a zero score on any criterion should be applied with caution. Although for many of the criteria a script will only score zero where it a drawing or a series of letters, this is not the case for criterion 7, paragraphing.

Difficult to read and very short scripts To gain familiarity with the scoring patterns for low level scripts, please read the first 4 exemplars and their annotations: • Role play writer • Dungaun • The casel • BMX.

Audience Skill focus: The writer’s capacity to orient, engage and affect the reader. Score range: 0 – 6

In marking audience we are looking for the students’ awareness of their audience. • Have they responded to the task? • How well? • Have they selected subject matter relevant to the task and of interest to their audience? • Have they attempted to engage their audience? E. g. select and deploy rhetorical devices that – lead a reader through – engage a reader’s interest or emotion – directly appeal to a reader e. g. rhetorical questions.

Understanding of audience Self audience G R O W T Trusted audience (family and friends) Known audience (teacher) Distant audience (physically remote) Distant audience (socially remote/powerful) Knows and uses different reader expectations

Engaging reader interest — language choices Literary (“narrative”) devices Students acknowledge and engage readers when they use language the way writers do. Even clichés may be a step in the right direction. • • Figurative language – a starry night Hyperbole: My Dad is the world’s laziest. Understatement: Death is a bit disruptive. Idiom or jargon: “I could well of backed the trifecta”, he said.

Activity • • Read Magical park and St John’s orphanage. Working in pairs, discuss these two scripts. Mark the audience criterion Refer to the manual – use the category descriptions and additional information as well as the annotated scripts to confirm your understanding of the rubric and how it is applied. • Discuss your reasons for making the decisions you did.

Text structure Skill focus: The organisation of narrative (story) features including orientation, complication and resolution. Score range: 0 – 4

Text structure • Orientation • Complication • Resolution … into a complete narrative.

An orientation can focus the reader on the: • • situation setting action characters.

A complication advances the plot. It is more than a disappointment.

A narrative needs a plot • Plots have different forms – – – dramatic plot episodic plot cumulative plot parallel plot circular plot • Plots usually have an element of tension.

Narrative plots are often driven by conflict • Struggle against nature – Children of the Oregon trail; Little house … • Struggle against another person usually the antagonist – Redwall, Harry Potter • Struggle against society – The Guardians; Northern lights • Struggle against fate – Holes • An internal struggle, e. g. the two sides of one character – Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.

Narrative devices • • imagery metaphor figurative language allusion hyperbole understatement symbolism

Activity • • Read Magical park and St John’s orphanage. Working in pairs, discuss these two scripts. Mark the text structure criterion. Refer to the manual – use the category descriptions and additional information as well as the annotated scripts to confirm your understanding. • Discuss the reasons why you made the decision you did.

Ideas Skill focus: The creation, selection and crafting of ideas for a narrative. Score range: 0 – 5

What is an idea? • In some scripts the ideas are the events in the story. • BMX (page 25) is a one idea story with no elaboration. • Have the ideas been elaborated? • At the higher score levels (4 or 5) theme is an important consideration. • It is not necessary (and often not desirable) for a theme to be stated explicitly – the best ones underpin the entire text.

Theme is the important idea, the meaning, the significance behind the story. “Theme is the melody, the motive, or the dominant idea developed in the story. Children, like adults prefer authors who trust readers to infer theme from the characters, events and setting from story events rather than preaching or explicitly stating theme. ” (Calkins)

Theme … multiple themes • The need to be loved – give/receive unconditional love • The need to belong • The need to achieve • The need for security • The need to know – the power of knowledge • The need to survive – resourcefulness • The need to mature (with heroic qualities) • Life and death • Good over evil • …

Activity • • Read Magical park and St John’s orphanage. Working in pairs, discuss these two scripts. Mark the ideas criterion. Refer to the manual – use the category descriptions and additional information as well as the annotated scripts to confirm your understanding. • Discuss the reasons why you made the decision you did.

Character and Setting Skill focus: Character — the portrayal and development of character Setting — the development of a sense of time and place. Score range: 0 – 4

Students’ development of characterisation G R O W T H • Generic characters — the boy, the girl; also movie or book characters (1) • Friend characters — those with the names of the writer and his/her friends (1) • Invented characters — begins about Year 2 but common by about Year 4 (1) • Characters through dialogue — bits of character emerge (2) • Characters through description (3) • Characters through their actions and reactions. (4) • … (more advanced stages) Graves, 1989, 1991, 1994; Jenkins, 1996

Telling vs. showing If I have to tell you, I lose. If on the other hand I can show you a dirty haired woman who compulsively gobbles cake and candy then you have to draw the conclusion that Annie is in the depressive part of a manic depressive cycle, I win. … If, on the other hand, I turn her into a cackling crone, she’s just another pop up bogey lady. In which case I lose big time and so does the reader. Stephen King 2000: 190

Wolf Gillian Cross He came in the early morning, at about half past two. His feet padded along the balcony, slinking silently past the closed doors of the other flats. No one glimpsed his shadow flickering across the curtain or noticed the uneven rhythm of his steps. But he woke Cassy. She lay in her bed under the window and listened as the footsteps stopped outside. There were two quick, light taps on the front door. Then a pause and then two more taps, like a signal. Cassy sat up slowly. She heard the door of the back room open and Nan come hurrying out. Not running (nurses never run, except for fire or haemorrhage), but crossing the tiny hall in two quick strides. The front door handle clicked, but no one spoke and no light from the hall showed under Cassy’s door. He came in quickly, in silence, in the dark, and the door closed behind him a once.

She lay down again and closed her yes, wiping her mind clean and willing the questions away. Mind your own business, Nan always said, and you won’t get your nose caught in my mouse trap. No questions. No thinking at all. The blankness came easily, from long practice, and she floated into a dreamless sleep. When she woke up again it was morning. Nan was standing at the foot of the bed, beside the chest of drawers. On top of the chest, level with Nan’s face, was the big framed photograph of Cassy’s father as a little boy. Both of them stood very straight, shining clean, but not smiling. Mother and son. Nan was staring straight at Cassy, but the boy’s eyes were gazing into the distance, fixed on something beyond the picture. For a second, floating up out of sleep, Cassy wondered what it was. Then she saw the old brown suitcase in Nan’s right hand.

Activity • • Read Magical park and St John’s orphanage. Working in pairs, discuss these two scripts. Mark the character and setting criterion. Refer to the manual – use the category descriptions and additional information as well as the annotated scripts to confirm your understanding. • Discuss the reasons why you made the decision you did.

Session 2 • explanation of criteria 6 10 and marking 2 example scripts • prepare to mark qualification scripts

Vocabulary Skill focus: The range and precision of language choices. Score range: 0 5

Vocabulary The best writing • selects words with precision, for effect • uses figurative language to give — connotations of meaning, — to develop the emotive qualities of the text • Uses vocabulary to increase the density of ideas and thus “paint in the details” of the story.

Cohesion Skill focus: The control of multiple threads and relationships across the whole text, achieved by the use of referring words (pronouns), substitutions, word associations and text connectives. Score range: 0 – 4

Cohesion can be either: • grammatical or • lexical.

Cohesion Grammatical cohesion • pronoun referencing • connectives – time – cause – addition – contrast • use of repeated conjunctions to connect clause – additive (and); contrastive (but ) & time (then) – causal (so, because, consequently)

Cohesion Grammatical cohesion • pronoun referencing – inside or outside the text (as against undefined) – backward or forward referencing use • repetition of conjunctions to connect clauses – additive (and); contrastive (but ) & time (then) – causal ( so, because, consequently) • use of connectives.

Pronouns should be redefined when the reference chains • cross each other • get too long • change in number, e. g. we = Tommy, Jim and I and then Tommy leaves, • cross the paragraph boundaries (often)

Connectives Time • Since then, after that, next, as soon as, next morning, by and by • At first, until then, earlier • At the same time, meanwhile, without delay Cause • As a result, therefore, consequently • Because of, so that, due to • Otherwise, in that case, then • As long as, granted that, considering how, now that Addition • Furthermore, moreover, similarly • Indeed, actually, namely, that is • For example, finally • Therefore, in conclusion Contrast • But yet, on the other hand • however

Cohesion Lexical cohesion – linking of ideas • • • repetition substitution (synonyms) related words (collocation) part to whole class to sub class ellipsis

Matt bent over with laughter. ‘We did it, Jess, ’ he cried out. We did it. ’ He ran over and hugged his sister in her ghost gown. ‘We scared the tripe out of him. ’ Jessica was more interested in getting rid of her robes. ‘Here, help me out of this clobber, ’ she said, trying to lift the folds over head. ‘It’s like being tangled up in a parachute. ’ Matt helped her out of her garments and she started to fold them up. The scarecrow spectre was still leaning against the rock nearby. Matt was too busy enjoying the joke against Uncle Bert to begin dismantling it, but Jessica was in a hurry. ‘Come on, ’ she said. ‘I want to go home. ’ ‘Okay. ’ They both turned quickly — and froze. Jessica gave a little cry. At the same time she heard Matt draw his breath in a rasping gasp. The skin on the napes of their neck prickled and their blood seemed to run as cold as ice. A shrouded figure was standing within thirty metres of them on the Klontarf trail. It was quite motionless – a still white column, strangely luminous, as though lit by a diffused inner light. It was an ethereal presence — calm, mystic, unmoving — the embodiment of the world of spirits. Colin Thiele

Activity • • Read Magical park and St John’s orphanage. Working in pairs, discuss these two scripts. Mark the vocabulary and cohesion criteria. Refer to the manual – use the category descriptions and additional information as well as the annotated scripts to confirm your understanding. • Discuss the reasons why you made the decision you did.

Paragraphs Skill focus: The segmenting of text into paragraphs that assists a reader to negotiate the narrative. Skills score: 0 – 2

Paragraphs are important to the organisation and thus the readability of the text. I would argue that the paragraph, not the sentence, is the basic unit of writing — the place where coherence begins and words stand a chance of being more than mere words. Stephen King (2000: 129)

Paragraphs … “… are almost as important for how they look as what they do. ”

In narrative … paragraphs are about “the beat of the narrative”… as the rhythm of the narrative increases, paragraphs shorten. In narrative, a paragraph can be a single sentence long. Reading like a writer — Look at the excerpt from Wolf in your handout. Discuss how the author is using the paragraphs to craft the narrative.

Learning the author’s craft When to start a new paragraph? When a • new character enters the story • new event happens • new setting is described • new person is speaking • time moves on a lot – either forward or back • when I want a small fact/action to have impact • …

Credit for a paragraph break • Indentation of a new line • Space between the paragraph blocks • Student annotations (NP, square brackets, asterisks, etc. ) • Available space on the previous line left unused and context shows a paragraph is intended.

Sentence structure Skill focus: The production of grammatically correct, structurally sound and meaningful sentences. Score range: 0 – 6

Sentence structure Note the duel focus on correctness and the carriage of meaning.

In this criterion, we are looking for evidence of control Different sentences convey information in different ways. Sentence types are: • questions Power • statements Distance • exclamatives Affect • imperatives.

Sentence structure includes • the internal structure of the clause • subject verb agreement • verb control, i. e. the correct form and correct tense • correct sequence particularly of relative clauses • modality.

Clause structure represents thinking. It signals the: • logical relations between ideas • order of ideas • relative importance or weighting of ideas. Clause structure is a good indicator of growth in students’ writing.

What kind of sentence is it? I am taking an aerobics class. I bent, I twisted, I gyrated and I jumped up and down for half an hour … By the time I got my leotard on, the class was over.

A simple sentence … is a single clause with a • subject — Who • verb (or verb group) — does/says/thinks/feels … is/has • object — what. Theo loves a bone. Simple sentences can be elaborated to tell more. Theo, my dog, loves a bone after a swim.

A compound sentence … is a set of linked or coordinated clauses. The clauses give information of equal weighting. Only the sequence in the sentence suggests the order of importance. They are usually linked by words such as and, or, but, and not only … but also.

In a compound sentence … One clause may • extend the other – Jill played the trumpet and Joan played violin. • elaborate an idea – Each argument was fatal to the other: both could not be true. • report the actual words of a speaker – “Mark on computer!” she shouted.

Remember the conversational “and” Students who are yet to understand the difference between oral and written language. In these cases, the “and” is often used as a full stop or a pause marker. The conversational “and” is an indication that students have not yet begun to master subordination.

A complex sentence has a main or principal clause and a subordinate clause. The clauses do not have equal status. The logical relationship between the ideas is signalled by the conjunction. Adverbial clauses tell how, when, where or why.

Complex sentences Relative clauses (adjectival clauses) also expand on a participant in another clause. A relative clause can • add information – Bull terriers, which have a bad reputation, are not suitable pets for children. • define or restrict the participant – The ones who arrived late hadn’t been invited. • report the words or thoughts of a participant – He thought that marking on a computer would be great.

A quick way to tell the difference between a compound a complex sentence is to move the clause around. If it can be moved without changing the meaning then the clause is a subordinate one and the sentence is complex. I went to school because I had to. Because I had to I went to school. I went swimming and then fishing. And then fishing I went swimming.

“Reading in” punctuation In some instances the sentence structure is correct but the punctuation is incorrect or missing. Tony and Jessie are not my friends they tell lies. This computer is far too difficult to use, it came without a manual. These examples are correct sentences with incorrect punctuation.

“Reading in” punctuation Where a student uses repeated “then” to string the sentences together they can usually be separated: Then we went to get on the boat, then we rowed to the island then we got out then we had lunch. Although the sentences are correct this type of writing does not show great control. The text would not score above a 1 if this were the only sentence type in evidence.

“Reading in” punctuation Where a student uses repeated conversational “and” or “and then” to string the sentences together, they usually cannot be separated: We went to the boat and then we got into the boat and we rowed to the island then we had lunch and we went home.

Activity • Read Magical park and St John’s orphanage. • Working in pairs, discuss these two scripts. • Mark the paragraphing and sentence structure criteria. • Refer to the manual – use the category descriptions and additional information as well as the annotated scripts to confirm your understanding. • Discuss the reasons why you made the decision you did.

Punctuation Skill focus: The use of correct and appropriate punctuation to aid reading of the text. Score range: 0 – 5

Punctuation is about meaning Punctuation marks out the connected and embedded meanings in a text, tracing how an argument or narrative is progressing — indicating where a particular train of thought comes to an end, where there has been a digression and where an incomplete thread is picked up again. Smith, F. (1982: 156) Writing and the Writer

Punctuation • Marks out the semantic boundaries • Paces the reader

• Mark points 1 3 are about sentence boundary punctuation. • Level 4 is about handling other punctuation as well as the correct sentence punctuation. • Level 5 — all applicable punctuation and used to pace a reader.

Punctuation A note on scores 2 and 3 There is a range of performance possible in score 3 but sentence boundary punctuation needs to be mostly under control. If a script shows control of some punctuation other than sentence punctuation but the sentence punctuation is missing or incorrect it is possible to score an “on balance” 2. (See Woodern box page 33. )

Two final points • Contraction apostrophes are marked here and not in spelling. • The qualitative shift is between 3 and 4.

Spelling Skill focus: The accuracy of spelling and the difficulty of (spelling) the words used. Score range: 0– 6

Spelling is described as • • simple common difficult challenging.

What are simple words? To spell Simple words are those single syllable words where sounds map directly onto the letters, e. g: • cvc words — bad, fit, not • consonant blends — drop, clap, grass • consonant digraphs — shop, thin • double final consonants — will, less • high frequency long vowel words — name, park, good, school, feet

What are common words? To spell Single syllable words with • trigraphs — square, stretch, spring • common long vowels — fame, sail, use • frequently used words with less common long vowels patterns — they • frequently used multi letter short vowel — could, heavy • frequently used words with silent letters — know, wrong, lamb • suffixes added to a base word – – without change — sadly, cars, jumped with a drop e — having double letter — spitting, running change y to I — flies, heavier

What are common words? To spell And • frequently used homophones — there/their, here/hear, break/brake. Multi syllabic words which • have even stress patterns — litter, plastic • are compound words — downstairs • have suffixes added without a change — happening

What are difficult words? To spell Words with • uneven stress patterns — desolate, chocolate • less frequent vowel patterns — drought • soft g & c — hygiene • predictable patterns for adding endings — confident/confidence • suffixes such as able/ible, tion/sion (and variants) ture, ant/ent, ful

What are difficult words? To spell • difficult homophones — practice/practise • words with visually similar patterns — dessert/desert, complaint/compliant

What are challenging words? To spell Words with • unusual consonant patterns — guarantee, scintillate, ubiquitous • longer words with unstressed syllables — responsibilities, environment • foreign words — ricochet, • suffixes added to a word ending in ce, ge — changeable, noticeable

What are challenging words? To spell • Vowel alternation patterns (sounded to schwa) – inspire/inspiration • Consonant alternation patterns (where the base words are likely to be unknown) – Vicious (vice) • Absorbed prefixes – colleague, correlate, (com) – innumerable, illogical (in=not) • Syllable juncture — colossal, correspond

Activity • • Read Magical park and St John’s orphanage. Working in pairs, discuss these two scripts. Mark the punctuation and spelling criteria. Refer to the manual – use the category descriptions and additional information as well as the annotated scripts to confirm your understanding. • Discuss the reasons why you made the decision you did.