- Slides: 45
Narratives Continuation of the Writing Process
Narratives � Narratives develop real or imagined experiences or events using effective technique, well-chosen details, and wellstructured event sequences.
When Writing A Narrative � Engage your reader/audience – introduce your narrator (this should be your character) � Ways to do this: 1. Use physical descriptions (keep this to a minimal) 2. Focus more on actions (this says a lot about the character) 3. Instilling more individuality and depth (mastery level)
Introducing Your Narrator � Using Physical Characteristics ◦ Ex: My name is Eugene Spitnaz, and I am thirteen years old. I feel like my hands are too big for my body; my mom says that I will grow one day, and I will be tall. When that happens, my body will be proportionate to my hands. I always look at her underneath my mousy brown hair when she says that, and I roll my brown eyes at her because she just doesn’t understand what it’s like. I mean, I feel like a mutant some days! All of the other kids at school have petite hands while mine are large enough to cover theirs entirely. I hate being different.
Introducing Your Character � Focusing � Ex: More on Actions I was walking home today when I noticed something very peculiar. Along Mr. Pickle’s fence, I happened to notice that some of his white paint was missing. I touched the vacant spot, and I noticed how rough the wood was under my fingertips. Something wasn’t right, I decided. I needed to go find Mr. Pickle right now and ask him what happened to his fence! Just as that thought passed through my mind, a cold chill ran down my spine as the wind blew. I felt as if… someone was watching me.
Introducing Your Character � Instilling more Individuality and Depth � Ex: “There is no end of things in the heart. ” Someone once told me that. She said it came from a poem she believed in. She understood it to mean that if you took something to heart, really brought it inside those red velvet folds, then it would always be there for you. No matter what happened, it would be there waiting. She said this could mean a person, a place, a dream. A mission. Anything sacred. She told me that it is all connected in those secret folds. Always. It is all part of the same and will always be there, carrying the same beat as your heart. � I am fifty-two years old and I believe it…
Review �When reading story, what are some things that bother you as a reader? �Other ways to keep your reader interested… �Vary your sentence ________. �Too many short sentences… �Too many long sentences… �This creates a ________ writing style! �Your sentences should ______ smoothly together! �The goal is to… (has to do with your reader)
Let’s Do This! Peer Review � Take out your journal that we wrote on today, and exchange it with a partner. � Partner: Read the journal, and leave comments in the margin. If they didn’t vary their sentence lengths enough, let them know if they’re too choppy or repetitive. � If they used the same sentence type over and over, let them know they need more “complex” or “compound” sentences. � Lastly, did the story hold your attention? Were you interested? If not, tell them what they can do to make it more interesting (in a respectful way).
What I Expect � Use relevant descriptive details – use dialogue, pacing, & description ◦ Ex: I just couldn’t do it. I could not let those words escape just yet. ◦ “Say it, ” John said. ◦ “I can’t, ” I responded. Tears were beginning to cloud my vision as I stared down at the wounded dog that I once knew as my pet. ◦ “You can say goodbye. Do it while he’s still breathing, ” he ordered. ◦ I sank to my knees. The coolness of the pavement made me shiver instead of offering me warmth and comfort, which reminded me of the truth: Buddy was dying.
Dialogue � This is conversation between two or more people as a feature of a book, play, or movie. � Rules: 1. Dialogue is put in quotations (“ “) 2. If it introduces a sentence, you normally put a comma at the end and the period after you say who is speaking ◦ Ex: “Come to the park, ” John pleaded. ◦ Other methods: ◦ John exclaimed, “Come to the park with me!” ◦ “No!” I shook my head at him to add emphasis. (you do not always have to state who has spoken)
What I Expect � Use well-structured event sequences – make the story unfold naturally and logically (I already did this in previous ex’s) ◦ BAD EXAMPLE: I had to go to my grandma’s. I got to eat potatoes. My grandma loves potatoes. Potatoes are brown; I wonder why they are not square sometimes. I’m thinking about making a machine that makes them square. Anyway, I am on my way to my grandma’s when we run into a clown. I wonder if he would like square potatoes… ◦ DON’T DO THIS!!!! FOCUS! This is not a NATURAL way for the story to unfold!
What I Expect � Use a VARIETY of transition words, phrases, and clauses to convey sequence and signal shifts from one time frame or setting to another. (IT HELPS WITH THE FLOW!!!) ◦ Ex: Ever since my father died during war, it’s always been my mother and me. Before the war started, I can remember how happy my mother was. She and my father spent lots of time together, and I remember how elated she was whenever he got home from work… ◦ How do the transition words, phrases, and clauses affect the flow? ◦ Next time you peer review, see if your partner has any of these. If not, write “add more transitions. ” FLOW MATTERS
What I Expect � Use precise words and phrases, relevant descriptive details, and sensory language to CAPTURE the action and convey experiences and events ◦ Ex: I felt as if someone was watching me… My mouth became dry as anxiety set in, and I could feel my pulse speed up. The air was slightly chilly, and it caused the hair to stand up on my arms. I tried to swallow, but my throat was too dry. Instead of running, I straightened my back, took in a large gulp of air, and walked towards Mr. Pickle’s house. ◦ His sidewalk appeared normal as I walked, but what caught my eye was the sight of his flowers. They were always full of life and springy, but now the beautiful, yellow flowers looked as if they had been stomped by someone else.
What I Expect � Create a SMOOTH progression of experiences or events. ◦ Ex. 1: The plane was crashing. I jumped out and found myself on an island. I was scared, but I went to make shelter anyway. I heard weird sounds… ◦ Ex. 2: My heart was racing as I held onto my seat, trying to brace myself for impact as the plane plummeted into the murky waters. I lost grip on my seat and went flying toward the front. I hated myself for being the only one who did not bring my parachute with me. Hot tears began to well up in my eyes as the water began seeping into the abandoned plane. What have I done?
What I Expect � Provide a conclusion that follows from and reflects on the narrated experiences or events ◦ BAD EXAMPLE: And they lived happily ever after! -_◦ Better: (back to Spitnaz) Finally, I didn’t feel like a mutant anymore. At last, I grew to where I was over six feet tall, and my basketball coach treated me like I was a real player. None of the others ever called me a “shrimp” anymore either because I could touch the rim. I couldn’t wait to be a freshman now because I might actually get to play varsity, and I can’t wait! See you at the game!
Why Does This Matter? � Prompt: � Read the following narrative about Sarah; then, in an organized essay, write the story from the John’s point of view using details from the story. Develop his character, the setting, and organize details. Writing Assessment � Prompt: � Write a narrative in which you are the red duck. Use details from the story to explain to Mrs. Majeska how you came to be on the beach where she found you. Write from a first-person point of view, using dialogue, description, and chronology to describe your adventures. What they could ask you to do…
Journal #19 �Subject: What you’re doing in this setting (real or imagined experience), who lives in the tree, etc. ? PREWRITE FIRST �THEN DRAFT
Tree Setting: Try It Together � Choose how to develop the narrator first � Next, develop the setting � Sequence of events – what’s going on first? MAKE IT A LOGICAL sequence � Start thinking about how you want the story to end… that will determine what happens in the middle. � Include some dialogue! � Next, start drafting in your journal!
Peer Review Sheets �Switch your papers with a partner (your Journal #19). �Read the narrative, and then answer the following questions on the peer-review sheet (it won’t matter that they didn’t finish). �This is meant to be HELPFUL feedback and to prepare us for the 3 rd stage of the writing process. �When BOTH of you are finished answering the questions, give the sheet & the story back. Look over the comments!
Next Steps… � Prewriting = Done � Drafting = Done � Revising & Editing?
The Writing Process Stage 3: Revision � Revision – process in which you evaluate your draft, decide what works and what doesn’t, and you make changes as necessary. � Revision follows drafting and precedes editing. � Drafting and revising often form a loop as a work moves back and forth between the two stages. ◦ Ex: You write, you read what you write, and then you make changes. You write some more, read it, decide what does not sound good, and you change it. It’s an ongoing process.
The Writing Process: Revision � To make revisions: � Read through your draft and fix any errors you see (this could be spelling, commas, fragments, run-ons, etc. ). � Are your sentences and word choices effective? � This is where modifiers come into play =)
Effectively Placed Modifiers �A modifier changes, clarifies, qualifies, or limits a particular word in a sentence in order to add emphasis, explanation, or detail. �They are USUALLY descriptive words, such as adjectives and adverbs. �Modifier phrases also exist and tend to describe adjectives and adverbs.
Effectively Placed Modifiers �To illustrate the power of modifiers, consider the following sentences and decide which keeps your attention: ◦ Sarah was a sure fit for junior prom queen. ◦ The blonde girl named Sarah, who was a foreign exchange student from England, quickly climbed the ladder of popularity during her junior year, smiling her way through cheerleading and an ASB presidency term she inched near the top and was a sure fit as junior prom queen.
Misplaced Modifiers �A misplaced modifier is a word (adjective/adverb), phrase, or clause that is in the wrong place; it is separated from the word it modifies/describes. �*Because of the separation, sentences with this error often sound awkward, ridiculous, or confusing (but humorous)
Misplaced Modifiers 1. 2. On her way to work, Elaine saw the silver woman’s earring laying on the park bench VS On her way to work, Elaine saw the woman’s silver earring laying on the bench. They bought a car for my sister they call Pumpkin. VS They bought a car they call Pumpkin for my sister.
Correcting Misplaced Modifiers � To correct a misplaced modifier, move it as close as possible to the word you intend it to modify. � Ex: We watched the rocket shoot into space with our aunt and uncle. <- Sounds like your aunt and uncle are being shot into space. � CORRECT: With our aunt and uncle, we watched the rocket shoot into space. <- Oh, so you’re actually WITH your aunt and uncle watching the rocket…
Dangling Modifiers: Rewrite These & Correct Their Modifiers 1. 2. 3. 4. A young mother pushed the stroller in a pair of jeans. I saw Saturn’s rings using a telescope. Columbus met the native people exhausted from the voyage. In 1492, we watched a movie about Columbus landing in Haiti.
� Put You TRY! Creation Time! a line down the center of the paper I’m giving you. Create your own sentence with a misplaced modifier, and then draw a picture to go with it on one side (MAKE SURE IT IS SCHOOL APPROPRIATE!!). � The picture should be literally what the sentence sounds like. � On the other side, FIX the modifier, and draw a correct picture. � Example: I saw an elephant in my pajamas.
You TRY! Creation Time! � Example: I saw an elephant in my pajamas outside. � Correct: I was in my pajamas when I saw an elephant outside.
Journal #20: Effectively Placed Modifiers � Directions: Add modifiers to the following sentences to make them LIVELY. 1. 2. 3. 4. Jay has a dog. The dog loves playing fetch. Sheila plays music. Her favorite instrument is a violin.
Other Things to Edit � Watch out for Sentence Fragments � Watch out for Run-on Sentences ◦ Think about Dependent Clauses or Phrases – Without an independent clause, those are FRAGMENTS. ◦ Ex: Under a rock. Because he jumped. ◦ If you have a compound sentence without a comma in front of your conjunction, that is considered a run-on. ◦ Ex: She ran the race and she made it to the end even if she did not get first place. � Peer-Reviewers: CATCH THE MISTAKES! � Writers: PAY CLOSE ATTENTION & PROOFREAD!
WHEN DO I START A NEW PARAGRAPH? Current problem with most narratives I have read… What do we do to tell our paragraphs apart from one another? REVIEW!
Getting Paragraphing (P-A-T-S) � Note: in a narrative, the paragraphs are usually arranged in chronological order (in the order that the events happened). � One way to remember when to indent and begin a new paragraph is when (P) the place changes, (A) the action changes, (T) the time/topic changes, and (S) the speaker changes = (P-A-T-S)
P = Place Changes � The setting (PLACE) changes-When there is a shift in time, location, mood, day, date, direction, or space, writers alert their readers with an indent. � I was walking in the field when I noticed something very strange by the barn. I wanted to check it out. It was probably nothing, but you never know anymore, so I began to walk faster. � Once I made it to the barn, I noticed the difference now. The door had been left opened… or maybe, someone else opened it.
A = Action Changes � The action changes – when the main character is doing something, but they then transition and start doing something else, you need to start a new paragraph to avoid confusing your reader. � Just as that thought passed through my mind, a cold chill ran down my spine as the wind blew. I felt as if… someone was watching me. � …I climbed to the top of the porch and looked around to see if anything else was out of place.
T = Time or Topic Changes � The time changes –when talking about things in chronological order, time will change as you go on, and as it changes, you need a new paragraph. � First, I started cracking open the eggs and dumping them into a mixing bowl. I poured in a half cup a milk and added cinnamon. Then, I grabbed a spoon to start mixing them all together… � By ten o’clock, I had breakfast all ready before my family was even awake.
T = Time or Topic Changes � The topic changes-When the facts, information, details, or ideas shift to another aspect of the topic, it's time for a new paragraph. � I started telling him the story of how my life changed, and I knew from the beginning that it would be hard for him to take in. So, I started talking, and he listened intently. � It all started when my third grade teacher introduced me to an interesting book series. . .
S = Speaker Changes The speaker changes – to show that a new person is talking, and to avoid confusing your reader, you must start a new paragraph and indent each time someone new is talking. � “I hope the police can investigate this whole thing. ” Laura stared out the window. � “I just hope that wherever he is, and no matter what has happened… I just hope that he is safe, ” I replied. � “Me too. ” �
EXAMPLE – Let’s do together I thought it was a morning like any other morning until my mother woke me up in a hurry. “We are going on a road trip!” she said happily. I whined loudly and pulled the covers over my head. This was not happening, I thought to myself. � After about five minutes, the light switched on. “RISE AND SHINE!” my mother yelled, pulling the covers off of my entire bed. � (CHANGE IN TIME) �
EXAMPLE – Let’s do together James found himself running down the stairs, homework in hand, attempting to catch the bus. With every step he took, the sense of urgency became greater because he knew the bus wouldn’t wait forever. The sounds of his footsteps rang through the air, bouncing off the walls of the stairwell. � This wasn’t the best of mornings; he had overslept majorly, and he couldn’t get a certain thought out of his mind… he could remember hearing his mother mention something about a new job last night to his father… � (change in topic) �
EXAMPLE – Let’s do together I sat in my room, my knees to my chest. I was staring out the window once again, trying to be patient. I knew it would happen again, and this time, I was going to take action… I would not be silent again. � All of a sudden, I stood up. I heard the sounds, and I knew the robbers were back. They were next door once again attempting to break into my neighbor’s house, but this time, I was going to get the police involved. � (change in action) �
Your Turn! �I am giving you a short narrative that I started. � Front: I’ve already made separate paragraphs; you tell me what the change is each time a new paragraph starts. � Back: I want YOU to tell me where a new paragraph needs to start (it’s one big block). � Finished? Continue your journal. . .
What Do Paragraphs Do? �Imagine reading a page without paragraph breaks. Paragraphs create order and logic by helping your reader recognize the boundaries where one point ends and another begins.