Montessori Discipline A Framework for Discipline in the

Montessori Discipline A Framework for Discipline in the Home

Three Planes of Development 1 st Plane-Birth to 6 Known for: Order, Absorbent Mind, Physical and Biological Independence. “Me, me!” 2 nd Plane-6 -12 Known for: Mental Independence, Moral and Social exploration. “That’s not in the rules!” 3 rd Plane-12 -18 Known for: Social Independence, Justice and Dignity, Reflective/Interpretive Mind. “Why is everyone looking at me!”

Step #1: Setting Your Family Culture Write down what you value, what you hope or strive for your family to be, what you don’t want, etc. This will help clarify your family culture. It should be something that will grow with your children. Something that transcends planes. Ex. Some of our Family Culture stuff: Meal time is sacred. We don’t tolerate or promote violence in language or action. “Face time”. This base is used for the next step!

Step #2: Limits “Limits are boundaries that give your child order, consistency, and clear expectations. Within these limits, your child is free to explore and learn about his world. It is your responsibility as a parent to establish, enforce, and help your child understand your family’s limits. Children learn about limits by testing them, so mean what you say!” –thefullmontessori. wordpress. com

Step #2: Limits Plane #1 Plane #2 Plane #3

Step #2 (cont. ) Example: Food is to be eaten at the dining table. This connects to our value of meal time. Child is free to make food choices based off of what is served. Example: Going to the park: Plane 1 -crosses the street with adult, Plane 2 -crosses the street alone, Plane 3 goes to park alone

Step #3: Consequences Natural Consequences: Learning from the natural order. Example: My son was not carrying his frozen yogurt cup carefully when he went to raise it up on the counter it fell and a fair bit spilled out. He picked up the cup and returned it to the counter. He received less of a treat than he had wanted. No further correction required. Example: If your child is not ready to go to school by the appropriate leaving time. Pack their clothes, toothbrush, etc in a bag and go to school. The child will have to change at school because they did not get ready at home. Logical Consequences: Learning from the social order. Example: 7 th grade was not being careful/thoughtful with technology so Mr. Santana instituted a technology-free week. Just say NO to arbitrary and blanket consequences.

Directed Choice Directed Choice: Parent provided choice of two (or more in older children) equally acceptable options. 2 nd and 3 rd plane: The child may suggest additional choices and lay out the reasons behind them, but the parent has ultimate say on if it gets included making sure to explain the why. No, “Because I said so!”

Miscellaneous Waiting for calm and respect Don’t take misbehavior personally. Take the emotion out. Define and clarify the parent and child role.

Resources Whiningisclosed. wordpress. com Thefullmontessori. wordpress. com Mariamontessori. com