MISSED CONNECTIONS Grief and Loss Support groups for

MISSED CONNECTIONS Grief and Loss Support groups for males, females and couples

SENSITIVE STUDIES Insight into couples thoughts and feelings with infertility and grief. Focus is on healing with other couples and finding resources

In Egypt, for example, few men in my study were willing to tell anyone, including their closest family members, that they suffered from male infertility. Male infertility was described variously as an “embarrassing, ” “sensitive, ” and "private” subject for the Egyptian male, who would necessarily feel ana mishraagil —“I am not a man”

If others were to know that he was the cause of a given infertility problem. Because of the association between male infertility and manhood, men’s wives were generally expected to participate in a two-person cult of silence regarding the male infertility, which usually meant that women should be the blame for the infertility in public. When women were questioned (as is often the case in Egypt) about the source of the childlessness, most told others that there was “nothing wrong” with either partner and that the matter was "up to God. ”

Sometimes, women suggested to their acquaintances that they themselves were seeking treatment for the infertility. Women often explained that they “covered” for their husbands out of love and loyalty. However, some women also said that they feared the potential familial and marital consequences of exposing their husbands’ secrets (Inhorn 2003 a).

SPENDING TIME HEALING Internet Meetings and Counseling Gathering sites in the community for couples suffering grief & loss are important to the process of moving forward

COUPLES NEED SUPPORT

“YOU ARE NOT ALONE” v. Can I see another’s woe, and not be in sorrow too? Can I see another’s grief, and not seek for kind relief? William Blake

GREG’S PERSPECTIVE

INTERNET CONNECTIONS http: //www. dailystrength. org/people/489469/photo s-videos http: //forums. fertilitycommunity. com/ Mothers who adopt as single parents/ http: //groups. yahoo. com/group/pdxadoptingsingle s/

FORUM/CATEGORIES v Infertility-internet connections with others on line daily v Male and Female support is important to the grief process when couples are dealing with infertility and/ or adoption afterward v Open discussions on internet and local or statewide meetings for couples and singles trying to find answers and help!

WEB SITE RESOURCES v http: //www. thelightbeyond. com/how_to_console_a_g rieving_friend. html v http: //www. resolve. org/http v http: //www. adoptioncounselingservices. com/index. ht ml

REASONS TO SUPPORT Infertility and adoption issues v http: //www. postadoptionfam ily. com/index. php? page=adopti on-counseling-news Males and Females/Couples or singles v Overwhelming v Stressful and foggy existence v Male stigma (loss of support) v Female stigma (fitting into the parent role) v Distance from relationships together and with other couples/parents

INFORMATION /RESEARCH American Society Resolve v American Society for v RESOLVE The National Reproductive Medicine Infertility Association 1209 Montgomery Highway Birmingham , AL 35216 -2809 Phone: 1 - 205 - 978 -5000 Web Address: http: //www. asrm. org 1760 Old Meadow Rd, Ste 500 Mc. Lean , VA 22102 Phone: 1 - 703 - 556 -7172 Web Address: www. resolve. org

INTERNATIONAL COUNCIL v International Council on Infertility Information Dissemination P. O. Box 6836 Arlington , VA 22206 Phone: 1 - 703 - 379 -9178 Web Address: http: //www. inciid. org v Some of the websites are information gathered by chat groups on line at support sites. Personal experiences and daily connections with internet

GAINING CONNECTIONS

RESOURCES v Inhorn, C. M. , (2004). Middle Eastern Masculinities in the Age of New technologies: Male infertility and Stigma in Egypt and Lebanon. Medical Anthropology Quarterly, 18, (2), 162 -182.

EDITED BY: SHANNON EASTER KELLEY and NINJA JAMES KELLEY 2/25/2012 SASS: 505. Adoption Practice and Policy