Michigan Merit Curriculum Health Behaviors 3 1 Explain

Michigan Merit Curriculum • Health Behaviors – 3. 1 Explain the effects of violence on individuals, families, communities, and our nation. – 3. 2 Describe the characteristics of situations which are dangerous, and those that must be reported to the authorities. – 3. 3 Define and describe bullying, sexual violence, and sexual harassment, and their effects on individuals and communities. – 3. 6 Apply strategies to access and get help for self or others. – 3. 7 Apply strategies to avoid and report dangerous situations, including conflicts involving weapons and gangs. – 3. 8 Demonstrategies to stay in a violent situation. – 3. 11 Analyze social pressure to refrain from telling on others or reporting dangerous situations. – 3. 12 Analyze the role of friends and peers in the escalation of conflicts and the promotion of violence. – 3. 13 Demonstrate the ability to use conflict resolutions skills. – 3. 14 Evaluate the characteristics of a conflict which must be managed rather than resolved. – 3. 15 Evaluate the impact of media on the prevalence of violence. – 3. 16 Apply strategies to stop or de-escalate a conflict.

RESOLVING CONFLICTS OBJECTIVES � Define conflict � Describe how conflicts develop. � Discuss ways to recognize conflict and its source.

CONFLICT � Conflict is any disagreement, struggle, or fight. Conflicts are a normal part of life. Whenever your wants, needs, wishes, demands, values, or beliefs clash with someone else’s, a conflict is almost certain to arise.

� Defining � Part Conflict Assignment: (home, school, nation) 1: Use pictures and/or words to define “negative conflict”. � Part (wants, needs, values, wishes, demands clash) 2: Use pictures and/or words to define “positive conflict”. Positive conflict can lead to positive changes, new viewpoints, and stronger commitment to ones’ values, personal growth… � (debate…)

POSSIBLE ANSWERS Negative conflict: politics, shotgun, video games, use of computer at home, use of one car, what and where to eat, grades, pay up debts, need for money, losing, go to party v babysitting, USA v Iraq, basketball player and referee, name calling, playing time, one pizza slice left, . Positive conflicts: understand, make friends, war, debate, two good colleges, resolve problems, husband wife agreeing, win-win situations.

• People live, work, and play together. To do so, people must understand the following ideas : – Conflict is a part of everyday life. – Conflict can be handled in positive or negative ways. – Conflict can have either creative or destructive results. – Conflict can be a positive force for personal growth and social change.

STATEMENTS ABOUT CONFLICT �Conflict will happen; violence does not have to happen. �It is not our choice whether or not to have conflict �It is our choice how to act when we do have conflict.

Causes Power struggles – teen/parents Personal loyalties – angry at best friend for taking another person’s side. Jealousy and Envy – teen upset when a friend dates a boy she likes. Property disputes – teen angry with sibling for borrowing MP 3 player Conflicting attitudes and values – two friends argue because one friend wants to hang around the cool kids and other with everyone. Lack of respect – teen rude to a classmate of a prejudice against an ethnic group.

�Responses To Conflict Worksheet: show the responses that are typical for you when you are in a conflict with another person. “often” “sometimes” or “never”. �Yell back or threaten the person �Avoid or ignore the person �Change the subject �Try to understand the other side �Complain to an adult �Call the other person names �Let the person have his or her way �Try to reach a compromise

F O S E P TY FLICT N O C �Interpersonal Conflicts are disagreements between groups of any size, from two people to entire nations. Example: teens meeting after school to settle a disagreement.

TYPES OF CONFLICT Internal Conflicts are struggles within yourself. � Most of us have negative ideas about conflict, and these negative ideas often create barriers to our willingness or ability to deal with conflict. �

CONFLICT HAPPENS WORKSHEET: On a sheet of paper record 1 example of conflicts you have experienced or know that others have for each of the following settings. or others adults) HOME (with parents HOME (with brothers, sisters, other kids) AT SCHOOL (with peers) AT SCHOOL (with teachers, other adults) AT SCHOOL (with rules, expectations) IN THE NEWS

CONFLICT WARNING SIGNS PHYSICAL EMOTIONAL A knot in the stomach Feeling concerned Faster heart rate Getting defensive A lump in the throat Wanting to cry Cold and sweating palms Wanting to lash out A sudden surge of energy Wanting to escape Confrontational-or “fighting”-body language, such as clenching your fists Not feeling valued

�“Often” “sometimes” or “never”. �Let an adult decide who is right �Talk to find ways to agree �Apologize �Hit or push back �Cry �Make it into a joke �Pretend my feelings are not hurt

Handout worksheet: Responses

RESPONSES TO CONFLICT � Responses to conflict generally fall into one of three categories: soft responses, hard responses, or principled responses. �SOFT RESPONSES – have you ever: �Ignored a conflict, hoping it would go away? �Denied that a conflict mattered to you? �Withdrawn from a situation and not shared what you felt? �Given in just to be nice?

SOFT (Passive) RESPONSES • • Soft responses to conflict involve avoidance, by withdrawing from the situation, ignoring the problem, or denying their feelings. Avoidance may help in the short run, it might help someone keep from losing his or her temper. Avoidance usually causes self-doubt and makes the person feel anxious about the future. Plus, because the conflict is never brought up, it can never be resolved.

� Have you ever: Threatened another person? � Shoved or pushed someone out of frustration? � Yelled words you really didn’t mean? � Hit someone or destroyed something out of anger? �Hard responses to conflict involve CONFRONTATION. HARD RESPONSES

HARD RESPONSES Confrontation in response to conflict means a person expresses anger, verbal or physical threats, or aggression. The person may resort to bribery or to punishments like withholding money, favors, or affection. These actions show a win-lose attitude toward conflict, or the attitude that one person must win and the other person must lose in a conflict. This attitude prevents cooperation and keeps people from reaching a mutually satisfying solution.

PRINCIPLED RESPONSES � Have you ever: � Listened with the intent to understand the other person’s point of view? � Cooperated with someone else without giving in? � Shown respect for differences between you and another person? � Looked for ways to resolve a problem that helped everyone involved?

PRINCIPLED RESPONSES � A principled response to conflict involves communication. � Communicating means participation in a common understanding, not necessarily agreeing. � People in conflict who seek first to understand the other person’s side, then be understood, produce win-win solutions. Both people get their needs met, and no one loses.

� You. Tube Waterboy - Conflict Resolution - The

� Responses to conflict generally fall into one of three categories: � Soft responses � Hard responses � Principled responses.

GROUP ASSIGNMENT � Have students get into groups and make up a “conflict” between two or more people. � In your group role play a soft response to the conflict and share with the class. � In your group role play a hard response to the conflict and share with the class. � In your group role play a principled response to the conflict and share with the class.

BASIC NEEDS �BELONGING �POWER �FREEDOM �FUN

ORIGINS OF CONFLICT � Most every dispute between people involves the attempt to meet certain basic needs for belonging, power, freedom, or fun. � Understanding how to resolve a conflict begins with identifying the origin of the conflict.

BASIC NEEDS AND CONFLICT �Our BELONGING need is met by developing and maintaining relationships with others where we have the opportunity to love, share, and cooperate. �Our POWER need is met by achieving, accomplishing, and being recognized and respected. �Our FREEDOM need is met by making choices in our lives. �Our FUN need is met by laughing.

BASIC NEEDS AND CONFLICT Suppose you are in conflict with a parent about the chores you must do around the house. This conflict might be the result of your need to have the freedom to make your own choices about how to spend your time.

“Basic Needs” You may be mad at the coach because you think you deserve more playing time, and his/her decision not to let you play is frustrating your power need-you think they do not recognize your ability and not playing deprives you of the chance to gain respect from your teammates and the fans.

BASIC NEEDS � We are all born with the same four basic needs. How we meet those needs may be different from what others choose. � These different choices may cause a conflict, either because two people are trying to satisfy the same need in two different ways or because they are each trying to satisfy a different basic need.

� � BASIC NEEDS: on a sheet of paper use pictures/words to describe what you personally do to satisfy your needs in the 4 areas. Note the similarities and differences and report back to the class. BELONGING POWER FREEDOM FUN CU R W E F

LIMITED RESOURCES � When resources are limited, conflict may result. Conflicts that involve limited resources are about: �A conflict about MONEY � A conflict about personal/school PROPERTY � A conflict about TIME � We each want money or property or time because we see these as things that allow us to satisfy our basic needs.

LIMITED RESOURCES � If we have money, we can afford to do more (freedom, fun, belonging). We can buy things like great clothes, sports equipment, or audio-video products to gain recognition (power). � When we have plenty of time, we can do our work (power) and also hang out with our friends (fun, belonging, freedom). � Resources are WANTS that we choose to satisfy our basic needs.

� Columbine You. Tube Shooting: The Final Report 1/5 -

� Columbine You. Tube Shooting: The Final Report 2/5 -

� Columbine You. Tube Shooting: The Final Report 3/5 -

� Columbine You. Tube Shooting: The Final Report 4/5 -

� The Columbine Killers - Part 5 of 5 You. Tube

C t c i l f on t n e m e g a n a M If not managed well conflicts can escalate and result in threats, verbal abuse, and physical violence. Homicide is the willful killing of one human being by another is the second leading cause of death in the United States for people 15 to 24 years old.

� Violence leads to personal and societal tragedy; yet, many Americans pay money to watch or listen to forms of violence as entertainment. � How do you think media violence impacts the emotions of those who watch it? � How do you think media violence impacts what a person thinks about violence?

� FACTORS AFFECTING VIOLENCE: � Availability of weapons � By age 18, the average teen has seen 22, 000 hours of TV and witnessed some 200, 000 acts of violence, real or staged, including 16, 000 murders. � In addition to TV, song lyrics, videos, movies, and video games carry images of or messages about violence.

How we act in conflict or a potentially violent situation is our choice and depends on how we think about the situation and how we feel about it. Thoughts can help to determine emotions, and emotions can impact how we think about situations. Thoughts include beliefs and values, knowledge, and

� You. Tube - Tribute to Columbine 1999

q q q Conflict Resolution is the process of ending a conflict by cooperating and problem solving together. It involves communication, cooperation and compromise. It involves the Three R’s-RESPECT, RIGHTS, AND RESPONSIBILITY.

CONFLICT RESOLUTION q. Show respect to others. q. Respect the rights of others. q. No one owns anyone else. q. Take responsibility for your actions!

� Negotiation is a process in which compromise is used to reach agreement. Rules for negotiation: � Make sure everyone is calm. � Be sure each person is willing to try to negotiate. � Listen carefully and show empathy. � Express emotions constructively. � Avoid blaming, name-calling and insults.

THE ART OF NEGOTIATIONS � You. Tube - I shall prove my point - training in negotiations

Violence Prevention What can you do? �Avoid guns and alcohol and other drugs. �Resist becoming a member of a gang. �Limit your exposure to media that promote and glamorize violence and prejudice.

VIDEO – VIOLENCE PREVENTION �LIST 3 STATISTICS �List 5 violence prevention steps (school, community, parties…)