Mentoring Review session David Clutterbuck 2013 Identifying issues

Mentoring Review session © David Clutterbuck 2013

Identifying issues for practice sessions • What has happened recently that has made you deeply frustrated? • What has happened recently that you feel really pleased about and wish you could achieve more often? • When have you played to your strengths and when to your weaknesses? • What issue are you aware of not having got round to addressing, though you feel you should?

How would you describe the quality of your mentoring relationship? Consider: • Amount and quality of learning • Degree of trust and rapport • Level of openness/ honesty • Relevance of each other’s experience • Support from others • Sense of purposefulness • Level of constructive challenge • Frequency of meeting

Relationship “droop” • Happens when the learning dialogue doesn’t get into sufficient depth – so you run out of things to talk about • Resolved by: • Increasing the level of challenge • Raising the bar on what the mentee might aim for • Redefining the purpose of the relationship • How would you recognise the symptoms early enough to prevent it happening?

Social dialogue Developing friendship and providing support and encouragement

How to develop social dialogue • Demonstrate interest in the other person, in learning about them • Actively seek points of common interest • Accept the other person for who they are – virtues and faults, strengths and weaknesses • Be open in talking about your own interests and concerns

Technical dialogue Meets the learner’s needs for learning about work processes, policies and systems

How to develop technical dialogue • Clarify the task and the learner’s current level of knowledge • Be available when needed (just in time advice is always best) • Be precise • Explain the why as well as the how • Check understanding

Tactical dialogue Helps the client work out practical ways of dealing with issues in their work or personal life (for example, managing time or dealing with a difficult colleague)

How to develop tactical dialogue • Clarify the situation (what do and don’t we know? ) • Clarify the desired and undesirable outcomes • Identify barriers and drivers/potential sources of help • Establish fall-back positions • Provide a sounding board • Be clear about the first and subsequent steps (develop a plan, with timeline and milestones)

Strategic dialogue Takes the broader perspective, helping the learner to put problems, opportunities and ambitions into context (e. g. putting together a career development plan) and vision what they want to achieve through the relationship and through their own endeavours.

How to develop strategic dialogue The coach uses the same skills as for tactical dialogue plus: • Clarify the broader context (e. g. who are the other players in this issue? ) • Assess strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats • Explore a variety of scenarios (what would happen if. . ? ) • Link decisions and plans closely to long-term goals and fundamental values • Consider radical alternatives that might change the game (e. g. could you achieve faster career growth by taking a sideways move into a completely different function? )

Dialogue for self-insight Enables the learner to understand their own drives, ambitions, fears and thinking patterns

How to develop dialogue for self-insight • • • Ensure the learner is willing to be open and honest with himself/ herself The coach merely opens doors – it is the learner’s journey of discovery Give time and space for them to think through and come to terms with each item of self-knowledge Be aware of and follow up vague statements or descriptions – help the mentee be rigorous in their analysis Explore the reasons behind statements – wherever possible, help the learner establish the link between what they say/do and their underlying values/needs

How to develop dialogue for self-insight • Introduce tools for self-discovery – for example, selfdiagnostics on learning styles, communication styles, emotional intelligence or personality type • Challenge constructively – “Help me to understand how/why…”) • Give feedback from your own impressions, where it will help the learner reflect on how they are seen by others • Helping the learner interpret and internalise feedback from other people (e. g. 360 appraisal)

Dialogue for behavioural change Allows the learner to meld insight, strategy and tactics into a coherent programme of personal adaptation

How to develop dialogue for behavioural change All the skills above, plus: • Help the learner to envision outcomes - both intellectually and emotionally • Clarify and reinforce why the change is important to the mentee and to other stakeholders • Establish how the learner will know they are making progress • Assess commitment to change (and if appropriate, be the person to whom the learner makes the commitment) • Encourage, support and express belief in their ability to achieve what they have committed to

Integrative dialogue • Helps the learner develop a clearer sense of who they are, what they contribute and how they fit in. • It enables the learner to gain a clearer sense of self and the world around them; to develop greater balance in his or her life, and to resolve inner conflict. • It explores personal meaning and a holistic approach to living.

A question of integration When and how should you help the learner move on to integrative dialogue? Is it part of the coach’s or mentor’s role to do so?

Seven conversations in one Before: 1. Coachee/Mentee’s intrinsic dialogue in preparation for the meeting 2. Coach/Mentor’s intrinsic dialogue in preparation for the meeting (Reflection before action)

Seven conversations in one During: 1. Coachee/Mentee’s internal dialogue (unspoken) 2. The spoken dialogue 3. Coach/ Mentor’s unspoken dialogue (Reflection in action)

Seven conversations in one After: 1. Coachee/Mentee’s subsequent reflection on the conversation 2. Coach/Mentor’s subsequent reflection on the conversation (Reflection on action)

Implications and exercises Exercise 1 • What can or should a coach or mentor do to prepare for the learning conversation? • How can you operate on and improve the quality of your thinking at this point? • What critical questions would it be helpful to ask yourself?

Implications and exercises Exercise 2 • What can or should a learner do to prepare for the learning conversation? • How can you help them improve the quality of their thinking and preparation at this point? • What preparation on their part would be most useful in helping you to help them?

Implications and exercises Exercise 3 The spoken conversation • What do you do to vary the pace and style? Should you? • Are there sufficient pauses for reflection? • Should you take notes? • What makes a “good” learning conversation (how would you distinguish it from a poor one? )

Massively Difficult Questions ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

What makes a powerful question? • • • Personal Resonant Acute/Incisive Reverberating Innocent Explicit

Five levels of listening • • • To argue or refute To respond (statement or question) To understand To help someone else understand Without intent

Building rapport

Issues mapping: an example Please yourself Creativity Honour Career Liberation Indian culture Daring/risk taking Comfort Western culture Family Fear Ambition Punish self Stability

Coach/ mentor maturity: an emerging concept Maturity is about mindset, not age or seniority

Evolution of coach/mentor maturity Coaching approach Style Critical questions Models-based Control How do I take them where I think they need to go? How do I adapt my technique or model to this circumstance? Process-based Contain How do I give enough control to the client and still retain a purposeful conversation? What’s the best way to apply my process in this instance? Facilitate What can I do to help the client do this for themselves? How do I contextualise the client’s issue within the perspective of my philosophy or discipline? Enable Are we both relaxed enough to allow the issue and the solution to emerge in whatever way they will? Do I need to apply any techniques or processes at all? If I do, what does the client context tell me about how to select from the wide choice available to me? Philosophy-based Systemic eclectic

Systemic eclectics • • Have immense calm Use tools subtly and seamlessly within the conversation. Steer with only the lightest of touches Understanding a technique, model or process in terms of its origins within an original philosophy • Use experimentation and reflexive learning • Use peers and supervisors to challenge their coaching philosophy • Take a systemic and holistic view of the client and the client’s environment; and of the coaching relationship

Mature coaches/mentors reflect deeply on: • • • Personal philosophy of coaching Understanding of the business context Freedom from the tyranny of the question How they use supervision How they maintain professional development – and can demonstrate how you have applied learning How they identify and manage boundaries Their personal journey as a coach What kind of clients and situations they work best with What makes a fully functioning individual What makes an effective organisation

Goals & coach maturity • Models-based coaches need SMART goals • Process-based coaches seek solutions (so goals become part of the process) • Philosophy-based coaches may choose to free themselves and client from immediate or specific goals • System eclectic coaches enable the transmutation/ transcendence of goals

What are the implications for your practice as a mentor?

Ending the mentoring dialogue It helps to summarise: • Issues (what topics did we cover? ) • Ideas (what creative thinking occurred? ) • Insights (what did we learn? ) • Intentions (what will we do as a result of our learning dialogue? )

What is a ‘technique’? “A process to assist a mentee or coachee to address a specific purpose within a particular context as part of an ongoing development relationship” David Megginson and David Clutterbuck Techniques in Mentoring and Coaching Butterworth -Heinemann, Oxford. 2004

Arguments against • • • Helping by numbers Context stripped away Inhibit spontaneous invention Can be used for illegitimate purpose Inappropriately atomistic Takes away learner autonomy

…and arguments for • Coach can be more specifically helpful than they otherwise would be • Gives coach tool for addressing intractable situation and have a way of going on • Reduce anxiety and increase peacefulness of coach, thus facilitating learning and development of learner

How to use techniques well • Use only what you know from the inside – practice first – if necessary on yourself • Use them within a loose model of helping • Have a lot so you are not a solution in search of a problem • Make explicit the intention of the coach in using the technique

“The effective coach or mentor constantly learns from experience – their own and that of their learning partners – constantly experiments with new ways of helping others achieve insight and personal change, and constantly expands their repertoire of responses. ”

“No matter what style the single approach coach uses, they are imposing their philosophy and view of the world on the learner; so their coaching practice is inevitably coach-centred to a significant degree. ”

The change balloon

Separate selves

Scripting

Your elevator pitch as a coach/mentor In pairs, one person asks the other to describe how they add value as a coach/ what’s special about their practice or approach They talk for 3 minutes, with little or no interruption. The questioner notes key words and phrases to repeat back. They reflect for 3 minutes; then say the same thing in 1 minute. Then reflect for a minute. Repeat with 15 seconds of explanation and 15 seconds of reflection. Then, if needed, in 5 seconds. Capture the result!

Ending the coaching/mentoring session It helps to summarise: • Issues (what topics did we cover? ) • Ideas (what creative thinking occurred? ) • Insights (what did we learn? ) • Intentions (what will we do as a result of our learning dialogue? )

Thank you for listening David Clutterbuck Partnership Woodlands, Tollgate, Maidenhead, Berks, UK, SL 6 4 L J Mobile: +44 (0)7747 012334 i. Phone: +44 (0) 7710 170019 Skype: david. clutterbuck 1 Twitter: Mentor 2 mentors Blogsite: davidclutterbuck. wordpress. com E-mail: david@davidclutterbuckpartnership. com Website: www. davidclutterbuckpartnership. com