MENTAL FITNESS IN ACTION UNDERSTANDING SKILLS LEARNING OBJECTIVES

MENTAL FITNESS IN ACTION: UNDERSTANDING SKILLS

LEARNING OBJECTIVES • To be aware of key attitudes that contribute to the development of positive relationships with others • To identify and apply skills that contribute to understanding and being sensitive to the perspectives of others

SESSION OVERVIEW Mental Fitness Review • Key Relationship Qualities • Understanding Skills - Focusing - Accepting - Drawing Out - Summarizing •

MENTAL FITNESS REVIEW Relatedness I belong to or feel part of my work community. I feel included, encouraged and supported by my co-workers and the organization. Competency I have strengths and gifts that are recognized by myself, my co-workers and the organization. When I use my strengths to meet my goals I feel a sense of worth and accomplishment, and I feel that I am contributing to the goals of the organization. Autonomy-Support I am respected by others in the organization, and I am regarded as a valuable team member. I am invited to make choices and to contribute to decisions about things that are important to me, my co-workers and the organization. (Peterson & Morrison, 2011)

MEETING MENTAL FITNESS NEEDS THROUGH RELATIONSHIPS In a wide variety of professional work involving relationships with people - whether as a human resource specialist, a manager, a team member, a customer service representative, a technician or a mentor - it is the quality of interpersonal encounters that determine the impact on Mental Fitness. “With some of these individuals I am in touch only briefly, with others I have the opportunity of knowing them intimately, but in either case the quality of the personal encounter is probably, in the long run, the element which determines the extent to which this is an experience which releases or promotes development and growth. ” (Carl Rogers)

Healthy Relationships Healthy Organizations We know that healthy relationships within organizations indicate a healthier organization. When people relate well to each other, when they engage each other in meaningful, valuable, respectful conversation, when you know the people at work well enough to trust them, work is more productive and less destructive conflict exists. (Payne, 2008)

ESSENTIAL RELATIONSHIP QUALITIES Genuineness The more an individual is himself or herself in a relationship, putting up no front or personal facade, the greater is the likelihood that the relationship will grow in a constructive manner. Other words related to genuineness include humility, transparency, and integrity. Unconditional Positive Regard The second attitude of importance in making a positive difference in the lives of others is acceptance, or caring, or prizing unconditional positive regard. When one individual is experiencing a positive, accepting attitude toward another, positive change is more likely to occur. Empathic Understanding Empathic understanding means that an individual senses accurately the feelings and personal meanings that another is experiencing and communicates this understanding to the other. This kind of sensitive, active listening is exceedingly rare in our lives. We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening of this very special kind is one of the most potent forces for positive change. (Adapted Excerpts from Carl Rogers, A Way of Being)

BARRIERS TO UNDERSTANDING NONVERBAL • • • Distractions Competing priorities Time limits Inadequate space Lack of comfort with surroundings VERBAL Evaluative or judging comments • Lack of perceived interest or openness • One way communication •

CONVERSATION ACTIVITY • • • Stand back to back Face each other and close your eyes Have one person stand one person sit, and switch Move away from each other across the room, but keep talking Find a comfortable place and position to continue and finish your conversation

UNDERSTANDING INVOLVES ATTENDING Effective attending is a careful balance of alertness and relaxation that includes appropriate body movement, eye contact, and a "posture of involvement". Fully attending says to the speaker, "What you are saying is very important. I am totally present and intent on understanding you".

UNDERSTANDING INVOLVES ATTENDING We create a posture of involvement by: • Leaning gently toward the speaker • Facing the other person • Maintaining an open posture with arms and legs uncrossed • Maintaining an appropriate distance between you and the speaker • Moving our bodies in response to the speaker; i. e. , appropriate head nodding, facial expressions

EFFECTIVE UNDERSTANDING SKILLS Focusing Give the person who is speaking the centre of attention Accepting Nod or smile. Show that you understand. You may not always agree with the speaker, but listen with interest and respect. Drawing out Encourage the speaker by asking open-ended questions (who, what, when, where, how). Summarize / Paraphrase Retell in your own words (paraphrase) only the important information.

APPLICATION ACTIVITY Mental Fitness in Action: Understanding Skills • Following the workshop, invite a coworker or friend for coffee. Ask to him/her to share with you about an upcoming event or activity they plan during their next weekend or holiday. • For this conversation, select a setting that is comfortable for both you and the other person, and that is free of distractions. • Plan for the conversation to take about 15 -20 minutes. • Apply the Focusing, Accepting, Drawing Out and Summarizing skills. • Ask for feedback from the other person regarding your understanding skills and whether they felt attended to and understood.