Meeting the Deeper Needs of School Leaders Viv

Meeting the Deeper Needs of School Leaders Viv Grant: Director-Integrity Coaching

Webinar Overview • Wellbeing: Are we all on the same page? • Understanding the emotional and psychological costs of school leadership • How Listening supports care of ‘The Soul in the Role. ’

A Question “How can we nurture teachers and school leaders for the long haul & stop putting subsistence strategies ahead of deeper needs? ” The Centre for Courage and Renewal

Well-Being: Our Definition ‘Well-being is about having a healthy and courageous relationship with self. It is concerned with doing the inner work that brings integrity and authenticity to the outer work of being human. ’

The Primary Challenge “ is to help people develop a set of practices that keep their dreams whole while cultivating an awareness of current reality around them”

What’s got in the way …?

The School Leader’s Front Stage “The front stage becomes the place where we perform for our audience, often more than one audience at a time … the front stage becomes our place for conviction and confidence. ” Walker [2007]

A Space that allows you to ‘Be’

Where do your ‘support’ relationships fit? HIGH Accountability/LOW Trust LOW Accountability/LOW Trust THE HALLMARKS OF THIS TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP ARE: -FEAR -MISTRUST -RESENTMENT THE HALLMARKS OF THIS TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP ARE: LEADING TO RESTRICTED PERSONAL PERFORMANCE LEADING TO COMPROMISED PERSONAL PERFORMACNE HIGH Accountability/HIGH Trust LOW Accountability/HIGH Trust THE HALLMARKS OF THIS TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP ARE: -OPENNESS -CO-OPERATION -UNDERSTANDING -EMPATHY THE HALLMARKS OF THIS TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP ARE: -SELF MOTIVATION -SELF DOUBT -SELF –RELIANCE LEADING TO HIGH PERSONAL PERFORMANCE -COMPLACENCY -SMUGNESS -ARROGANCE LEADING TO CONFUSION AROUND EXPECTED PERSONAL PERFORMANCE STANDARDS

A Space that says … • • • I accept you I value you I hear you I respect you I understand you

The Sacrifice Syndrome

The Sacrifice Syndrome ‘ When leaders sacrifice too much for too long – and reap too little – they can become trapped in the Sacrifice Syndrome’ [Boyatzis and Mc. Kee] • Dissonance becomes the default • Dissonant leaders are at the mercy of their own volatile emotions and reactivity

Therefore, we must attend to … 1. Deepening Self-Understanding 2. Developing Emotional Resources 3. Sustaining a sense of vocation and purpose 4. Bringing congruity to original ideals and current realities

What Get’s in the Way? • • • Pretend Listening Judgmental Listening Superficial Listening Distorted Listening Past Behaviour-Based Listening Jumping Ahead Listening

The Result….

Taking Care of the Soul Involves Listening that … 1. Develops reflection and thinking skills. 2. Supports psychological well-being and confidence 3. Maintains vocational vitality 4. Encourages problem-solving and creativity

Taking Care of the Soul Involves Listening that… 5. Builds confidence in leadership knowledge, skills and practice 6. Enhances communication and Relationship management skills 7. Grows emotional resilience 8. Increases self awareness and self management

Bringing You Back Home to Yourself

What would this look like for you?

The Sacrifice Syndrome and Renewal ‘ Sustainable, effective leadership occurs only when the experiences of the sacrifice and stress of leadership are interchanged with those of renewal’ ‘While resonance will lead to effective leadership, unless a leader moves in and out of renewal, he or she will not be able to sustain it. ’ Boyatzis and Mckee: Resonant leadership

Listening: A Pathway to Renewal It can become the means through which you: - Come to know and trust yourself - Clarify your thinking and adopt new ways of being - Find the courage to learn how to change and grow - Discover meaning from your own life experiences

Empathy Counts! “ Empathy reminds you that amidst the chaos of school life, you are worthy, you are valuable, and your story has the right to be listened to. ”

An Invitation – ‘To Connect Back to You’ • FREE 30 min call • The call will help you to: ü Create a sense of clarity about what you really want out of your life as a school leader ü Gain perspective on any challenges you may be currently facing ü Identify the steps that you can take to bring about positive change To book your call: Simply type ‘Coaching call’ and add your email address in the question box and we’ll be in touch

FREE ‘Coaching for the Soul’ Workshop Date: Thurs 17 th Nov Venue: St Marylebone School, Westminster, London Time: 9. 00 – 12. 30 To book your place: Simply type ‘Coaching workshop’ and add your email address in the question box and we’ll be in touch The session is for you if you want to understand how coaching enables schools leaders to: - Overcome the symptoms of the Sacrifice Syndrome - Develop a greater alignment between their inner and outer selves - Increase their levels of emotional resilience

Self Care is Never A Selfish Act …