Mature Love Deepening and Developing Relationship Positive Starters

Mature Love Deepening and Developing Relationship Positive Starters

Sex

One. Sided Sex Meant something only to one person

Communication One. Sided Sex Not so great Meant something only to one person

Few Common Interests, Time Together Not Much Fun Communication One. Sided Sex Not much there Not so great Meant something only to one person

Not really Doesn’t Feels Like a Friend Few Common Interests, Time Together Not Much Fun Communication One. Sided Sex Not much there Not so great Meant something only to one person

You Have No Commitment/Trust None Not really Doesn’t Feels Like a Friend Few Common Interests Time Together Not Much Fun Communication One. Sided Sex Not much there Not so great Meant something only to one person

Inverted Relationship Pyramid YOU HAVE NO COMMITMENT, NO TRUST! Doesn’t Feel Like a Friend Few Common Interests; Time Together Not Much Fun Communication Not Great One-Sided Relationship SEX Not Really Mature No Development No Foundation No Positive Starters

INFORMATION ALL TEENS SHOULD KNOW: • Most first-time sexual relationships are romantic but shortlived. 8 out of 10 first-time sexual relationships last six months or less. ¼ are one time occurrences. • Surveys of sexually active teens reveal that the majority wish they’d waited. More than 7 out of 10 girls and more than 5 out of 10 boys surveyed say this. • The Centers for Disease Control collects data on teens every two years on sexual and other behaviors. The number of teens who have had sexual intercourse has declined 14% in the last decade. 47% percent of 15 to 19 -year-old teens report they have had sexual intercourse. These are averages and obviously there are significant differences among different teens.

INFORMATION ALL TEENS SHOULD KNOW: • More than half of all teens (ages 15 -19 years) have NOT had sexual intercourse, and of the half that have, most wish they had waited. • Unfortunately, the half who have not had sexual intercourse sometimes think they are out of it because they believe “everybody’s doing it. ” In reality, “everybody is not doing it. ” • Moreover, some teens—especially boys because of social pressures—lie about having had sex. Even those who brag about how many people they have had sex with often are not having sex at all.

INFORMATION ALL TEENS SHOULD KNOW: • We also know from surveys that boys show significant respect—though often unspoken—for girls who resist pressure to have sex and remain virgins. And, girls have respect for guys who are not “players. ” • Many teens believe it is okay for a couple to have sex if they feel they are in love. The problem here is that the “feelings” of love may not yet be real love. The “love chemicals” could be surging, it could be more about lust and less about love. Further, one could have an unrealistic concept of what real love really is.

Copyright © 2007 by Marline E. Pearson. All Rights Reserved.

Slide 3. 21 The Brain Chemistry of Love For weeks or months you get a big shot of the “love chemicals. ” Those chemicals make it easy to slide into risky or poor relationship and sexual choices.

Copyright © 2007 by Marline E. Pearson. All Rights Reserved.

PROBLEM BEHAVIORS • Lies • Controls people • Uses people • Takes advantage • Sees self as victim • Very negative • Extremely moody • Blames others always • Changes just to please others. • Angry & aggressive • Abuses substances • Cheats, untrustworthy • Not committed to school • In trouble with the law Or, you’re just not in sync; you’ve changed your mind… Copyright © 2007 by Marline E. Pearson. All Rights Reserved.

The Brain Chemistry of Love Tip: Enjoy the great feelings…. but remember you won’t see clearly until those chemicals settle down a bit. Make the focus be on getting to know the person, having fun. Go slow—go smart!

Is it LOVE or is it … IN F AT U A T I O N?