Marriage the Family Spec Changing attitudes to marriage

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Marriage & the Family Spec Ø Changing attitudes to marriage, divorce, family life and

Marriage & the Family Spec Ø Changing attitudes to marriage, divorce, family life and homosexuality in the UK and the reasons for them. Ø Muslim attitudes to sex outside marriage and the reasons for them. Ø The purposes of marriage in Islam and how this is shown in the wedding ceremony. Ø Different Muslim attitudes to divorce and the reasons for them. Ø Muslim attitudes to homosexuality and the reasons for them. Ø Muslim teachings on family life and its importance. Ø How mosques help with the upbringing of children. Ø How mosques help to keep the family together. Ø Different methods of contraception and the reasons for them. Ø Different Muslim attitudes to contraception and the reasons for them. Ø How an issue arising from marriage and the family has been presented in one form of the media, for example in a television or radio programme, or in a film, or in the national press; including whether the treatment was fair to religious beliefs and religious people. Unit 4: S 3 Marriage & the Family 1

Marriage & the Family Keywords • adultery a sexual act between a married person

Marriage & the Family Keywords • adultery a sexual act between a married person and someone other than their marriage partner • civil partnership a legal ceremony giving a homosexual couple the same legal rights as a husband wife • cohabitation living together without being married • contraception intentionally preventing pregnancy from occurring • contract the legal document of marriage • homosexuality sexual attraction to the same sex • mahr a sum of money placed in trust for a bride by her husband at the wedding • nuclear family mother, father and children living as a unit • pre-marital sex before marriage • procreation making a new life • promiscuity having sex with a number of partners without commitment • re-constituted family where two sets of children (stepbrothers and stepsisters) become one family when their divorced parents marry each other Unit 4: S 3 Marriage & the Family 2

Changing attitudes to marriage, divorce, family life and homosexuality in the UK Attitudes to

Changing attitudes to marriage, divorce, family life and homosexuality in the UK Attitudes to sex and marriage have changed a lot in the last 50 years for example: Sex before marriage and cohabitation used to be regarded as wrong by society. Ø In the past people were expected to marry in church before they were 25 years old. Ø Most households had a husband, wife and children. Ø Today: Ø Many people have sex before marriage Ø Cohabitation is widely accepted and many couples live together before marriage Ø Many households have families where the parents are not married. Ø The average for marriage has increased. The average groom is now almost 37 years old and the bride nearly 34. Ø Divorce is more acceptable with nearly 40% of marriages ending in divorce. Ø These changing attitudes have affected sexual health. In 2003 more than 10% of the population had a sexually transmitted disease. Unit 4: S 3 Marriage & the Family The Family Ø In the 1960 s family life for the vast majority of people involved a nuclear family; that it is a mother and father married to each other with their children. However this has changed and there are now more reconstituted families, cohabiting families and reconstituted families among others. Ø The nuclear family is perhaps still the most popular, just! Ø The extended family is becoming more popular as more mothers are in paid employment and use retired grandparents to look after their children. 3

Muslim attitudes to sex outside marriage Ø Teaching • The Qur’an states very clearly

Muslim attitudes to sex outside marriage Ø Teaching • The Qur’an states very clearly that there should be no sex before marriage. • It also teaches that boys and girls should be separated as much as possible after puberty. • Islamic law (the Shari’ah) follows the teaching of The Qur’an and forbids sex before marriage. • Islam emphasises modesty and chastity. – Modest means “describes something such as a woman's clothes or behaviour, which is intended to avoid attracting sexual interest: ” – Being chaste means “not having had sex, or only having a sexual relationship with the person whom you are married to” Unit 4: S 3 Marriage & the Family Ø Purpose of Marriage • The primary purpose of sex in Islam is for making children. Muslims believe that children should only be born into a family where the mother and father are married. • ‘He who is able to should marry’ (Bukhari Haddith 30. 10) 4

Islamic Marriage v Marriage • Many Muslims rely on their parents to find them

Islamic Marriage v Marriage • Many Muslims rely on their parents to find them a spouse. • This is because Islam does not permit mixing of the sexes before marriage. • This is known as an arranged marriage v Dress • There is no strict Islamic dress code for marriage. • So long as the bride and groom are dressed modestly it is acceptable. • However many brides choose to dress in red (to symbolise fertility), or white (to symbolise purity) • The groom can dress in whichever colour he likes so long as it is modest v • • • Nikah This is a contract between the man and woman. They write down their terms and conditions. Both the man and woman must agree to each others terms and conditions before they marry. v Mahr • This is a gift given to the bride by the groom. • It can either take the form of money or property. • So long as it gives the bride status and some independence it is acceptable. • The money should not be so much that it bankrupts the husband, or so less that it insults the woman. • The wife can choose to keep it or give it back if the couple divorce. • The wife has a right to the money and the husband MUST give it to her. • • • Walima The marriage feast Takes place to publicise and celebrate the marriage Family and friends are invited to share in the happiness. There is no strict menu. The food varies according to the nationality of the couple. So long as the food is Islamically permissible (Halal) it is allowed. Unit 4: S 3 Marriage & the Family 5

The Family in Islam • The family is the foundation of Islamic society. Peace

The Family in Islam • The family is the foundation of Islamic society. Peace and security offered by a stable family unit is greatly valued and seen as essential for the spiritual growth of its members. • A harmonious social order is created by the existence of extended families; children are treasured, and rarely leave home until they are married. • Islam encourages its followers to maintain close contact with family members and to care for each other including the elderly and the extended family. • Children according to Islam are a gift and a trust given to the parents. Islam sees that if parents fulfil their duties towards all children in terms of providing them with necessary training, educational backing, moral, ethical and religious education, this will definitely lead to a more caring child, a better family atmosphere and better social environment and awareness. • In Islam children are born in a state of fitrah (purity) and then their parents teach them to be believers or unbelievers Unit 4: S 3 Marriage & the Family 6

‘With Allah the most hateful thing of the things made lawful is divorce’ (Abu

‘With Allah the most hateful thing of the things made lawful is divorce’ (Abu Dawood Hadith 13. 3) Divorce Timeline The couple go for counselling at the Mosque. Husband unhappy with his wife and says “I divorce you”. Men divorcing women The husband is unhappy again, so an Iddah period is started. His wife is already two months pregnant so the period must continue until she has had the baby. During the three month period the couple have sex – ending the Iddah The husband is unhappy again… As this is the third time he has said “I divorce you” the couple are now officially divorced. The couple reconcile. The birth of their baby brings them closer again. Unit 4: S 3 Marriage & the Family 7

Women divorcing men If a woman wishes to divorce her husband, she can ask

Women divorcing men If a woman wishes to divorce her husband, she can ask for a Divorce by ‘Khul, which means she can have her case presented to a Shari’ah court. A Muslim woman can seek a divorce for the following reasons: • Adultery • Desertion • Lack of maintenance by her husband • Harm by her husband • Insults to her or her parents • Breaking any other part of the Nikah (marriage contract) Unit 4: S 3 Marriage & the Family 8

UNDER SHARI’AH LAW IT IS PUNISHABLE BY DEATH! IT IS SEEN AS A GRAVE

UNDER SHARI’AH LAW IT IS PUNISHABLE BY DEATH! IT IS SEEN AS A GRAVE SIN!!! STRONGLY AGAINST HOMOSEXUALITY Islam sees homosexuality as a threat to the stability of Islamic society. This is because Islamic society is based around the family. ONE HADITH OF THE PROPHET GOES AS FAR AS SAYING: KILL THE ONE THAT IT IS BEING DONE TO’ Support for homosexual Muslims is controversial but there is an online community for homosexual Muslims who are afraid to come out as homosexuals within the Muslim community. Unit 4: S 3 Marriage & the Family 9

How the Mosque helps keep the family together • The Mosque is the religious,

How the Mosque helps keep the family together • The Mosque is the religious, social and educational centre of the Muslim community. It is more than just a place of worship – it is a community of people who are striving to please Allah. One way of pleasing Allah is to help families who might have difficulties A meeting place to celebrate with others Friday Jumu’ah prayers for father & sons Ways a Mosques helps families A meeting place where parents can any difficulties with others Unit 4: S 3 Marriage & the Family Gives Zakat to poor families Gives legal advice on matters such as divorce After school clubs teach children about Islam 10

Contraception Halal Haram Method that are acceptable : • Stops sperm from meeting the

Contraception Halal Haram Method that are acceptable : • Stops sperm from meeting the egg therefore preventing conception. Prevent implantation not conception. • Life is made and destroyed. • Considered to be the equivalent to abortion. Not acceptable! • Acceptable methods include: Haram methods: • Coil (stops fertilised egg implanting in the womb) • Morning after pill (can be taked 72 hours after sex) • Sterilisation (means the person can no longer have children permanently) – Condom, Femidom, diaphragham (Barrier – sperm does not meet egg) – Pill, contraceptive implant, (Hormones in the pill mean that the woman does not release an egg) Unit 4: S 3 Marriage & the Family 11

Islam & Contraception Ø Muslims believe that people should be married and have children.

Islam & Contraception Ø Muslims believe that people should be married and have children. However, Islam generally accepts contraception: – If the mother’s health would be put at risk by becoming pregnant – If there is a chance that a child could be born mentally or physically disabled • If the family cannot afford to bring up a child • Muhammad did not forbid the use of contraception • Muslim couples cannot use contraception without the consent of the wife • Some Muslims are opposed to contraception, saying Allah has a plan for everyone so it is wrong to interfere to prevent the birth of a child Unit 4: S 3 Marriage & the Family 12

Issue arising from marriage and the family has been presented in one form of

Issue arising from marriage and the family has been presented in one form of the media (East is East), including whether the treatment was fair to religious beliefs and religious people. Fair to Islam Unfair to Islam • Loving family • Parents have a love marriage not a forced marriage • Father wants the best for his kids • Go to the Mosque • All races and religions are treated the same. They are all made fun of. • Loving and supportive extended family. • Husband beats wife and the husband seems to have the most power in the house • Forced marriage for kids which is against Islam • Kids hate going to the Mosques • One son drinks and goes out with girls. • Kids eat Haram food • Muslim father is less respected than Mum Unit 4: S 3 Marriage & the Family 13