Marriage Roles and Responses 1 1 The Bible

Marriage Roles and Responses (1) 1

“The Bible sets forth specific and distinct roles for a husband wife that must be accurately understood and practically fulfilled. ” -Preparing for Marriage, Dennis Rainey, editor, 163 2

Marriage is a 100/100 Relationship • No “roleless” marriages • Marriage roles and responses are being confused, weakened and destroyed – Wife: “The Leader” “The Brain” “The Desperate” – Husband: “Incompetent” “The Brawn” “The Tyrant” • God-given roles and responses are essential for successful marriages that honor God (Heb. 13: 4) 3

HUSBAND HEAD (Love) Ephesians 5: 23, 25 WIFE 4

CHRIST HEAD (Love) Ephesians 5: 23; 1: 22 CHURCH Christ: Head (leader) of his body, the church Supremely loves the church, Eph. 5: 25 -29 5

HUSBAND HEAD Servant-Leader Ephesians 5: 25 -29, 33 WIFE Husband: Head (leader) of his wife is a function of love that takes work, not a position of superiority 6

Jesus was a Servant-Leader Mark 10: 42 -45 • Jesus’ leadership – SERVICE-SACRIFICE-SALVATION – Unselfish, Rom. 15: 3; Phil. 2: 4 -8 • Gentiles’ leadership – LORDING-WIELD POWER-BE SERVED • Husband’s leadership 7

Husband Must be a Servant. Leader Mark 10: 42 -45 • Great (megas): Be a servant – Diakonos, an attendant, a waiter • First (protos, first in rank): Be a slave – Devoted to another to the disregard of one’s own interests – Proverbs 11: 29 8

Being a Servant-Leader Does Not Mean… • Becoming a lording leader, making all the decisions himself or selfishly controlling others so he can meet his own needs • Must have a “rally the troops” personality • The wife never gives her husband advice and counsel 9

Being a Servant-Leader Means… • Taking overall responsibility for direction of the family (physical and spiritual, moral and material), 1 Tim. 5: 8; Eph. 6: 4 • Serving the needs of his wife and family • Cherishing his wife so she can become all God wants her to be • Husband denies himself and gives himself to his wife and his family 10

Being a Servant-Leader Means… • Husband takes the initiative in the home – Spiritual leader (Eph. 6: 4; Gen. 18: 9) – Finances (1 Tim. 5: 8) – Resolve conflict and enhance godliness • Making it easier for your wife to follow your leadership, Psa. 128: 1 -4 • Ultimately, responsible to the Lord 11

HUSBAND SUBMISSION (Respect) WIFE Wife: Willingly puts herself under husband’s leadership (Eph. 5: 22 -24; 1 Pet. 3: 1 -2, 5 -6) 12

CHRIST SUBMISSION (Respect) CHURCH Church: Willingly puts herself under Christ’s authority and leadership (Eph. 5: 24) 13

Wife: Submit to Your Husband • Action of the will • Respectful, holy conduct, 1 Pet. 3: 2, 5 -6 • Obey his leadership, 1 Pet. 3: 6; Titus 2: 5 • Submission is your response to husband’s role as head (servant-leader) – Not your role – Helps your husband, Prov. 21: 9; 27: 15 -16; 31: 10 -12, 28 -29 14

Wife: Submit to Your Husband • Ultimately a matter between wife and Christ, Eph. 5: 22; 1 Pet. 3: 3 -5 – Adorn yourself with the “gentle and quiet spirit” -- the essence of “submission, ” 1 Tim. 2: 11 – Respect put into practice, Eph. 5: 33 – “But he won’t lead” (Then, he will answer to God) – God didn’t say that, in such cases, you can lead (1 Pet. 3: 1 -2) Prov. 21: 9; 31: 10 -12 15

HUSBAND LOVE Ephesians 5: 33 RESPECT WIFE Servant leader (Mk. 10: 42 -45) Submission (Eph. 5: 22, 24)