Marriage FACS ESSENTIALS Dating Terms What does that

Marriage FACS ESSENTIALS

Dating Terms What does that even mean? “Talking” “Going out” “Hooking up” Things can easily get lost in translation! In America, these terms are also show our lack of commitment in relationships!

Things are getting serious… Remember that dating ultimately leads to marriage. The following are different types of love that are found in marriages

Altruistic Love Based on the concern a person has for the wellbeing of another Ex. Enjoy helping and providing for your mate

Companionate Love Feeling of deep friendship You may feeling this way with one of two friends throughout your life as well as your partner This is the most common type of love in the daily lives of most married couples.

Romantic Love Usually reaches a peak during engagement or early marriage It is very emotional, deep romance Devoting themselves to their partner, ignore the rest of the world and create their own happiness If this heightened emotional state continue years into the marriage, it strengthens marriage However many couples leave the “honeymoon phase” after living together and being in constant contact and see thing more realistically

Sexual Love Having sex with your partner is and extension of the intimacy and communication in your relationship It helps married couples confirm their love and need for each other Eventually, together will be used to help create their own family

Factors That Influence Marital Success Family background your Personal lifestyle, relationships, customs how Priorities Personal you spend your time and money Goals where you see yourself in the future Standards what you hold yourself and your partner accountable to

Factors That Influence Marital Success Emotional maturity How you and your partner handle situations the more emotional mature the couple is, the higher the success rate Emotional mature people… make their own decision take responsibility and accept the consequences of their actions Share Deal others frustrations, failures, and disappointments with reality rather than fantasy *BIGGEST REASON WHY YOU SHOULD WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE OLDER FOR SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS*

Factors That Influence Marital Success Age of marriage Often a sign of emotional maturity Teen marriages often struggle Financial stress Emotional Still stress figuring yourself out, independence issues Rushed in to relationship

Factors That Influence Marital Success Social activities/control Enjoy activities together, common interests Also enjoy activities with other people without partner feeling insecure or jealous Parental Approval Need family support, especially whenever you have children Attitude toward marriage Marriage does not mean living “Happily Ever After”…it takes work! Positive attitude from both partners = long and happy marriage/ positive results

Engagement Period Marks the end of dating and start of life-long journey together Serves several purposes… Examine and fine tune relationship Establish good relationship with future in-laws Plan wedding Plan future home COUPLE NEEDS TO COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OPENLY ABOUT IMPORTANT ISSUES FOR THEIR FUTURE! Both must be honest and sincere about these issues in order to avoid problems later in the marriage!

Issues to Discuss during engagement Grab a set of discussion topics or a book (page 71) Read through them with your group and rank them in order of importance to you Discuss as you go, you will be sharing with the class

Wedding Planning This is another function of the engagement period Social event where friends and family celebrate CAN BE EXTREMLY STRESSFUL- It’s just one day! Expensive and can cause financial difficulty Trying to make both families happy can be a challenge Making sure that traditions and rituals are observed Religions are respected in ceremony Lots of decision making in a short amount of time American’s fantasize over “The perfect day”, can be hard to live up to those expectations Important to just focus on close family and partners opinion, make it your perfect day

Making Marriage Work Early marital adjustments Find out what works and what doesn’t, make changes Adjust to daily routines Start to settle into relationships Less about romantic dates and gifts, more about loving through daily life Nurture marriage constantly throughout life Just as life has ups and downs, so will marriage Love each other through it, remember spouses Love Language COMMUNICATE when issues arise Settle as a couple before deciding to have children

Check Your Knowledge 1. The kind of love that is based on the concern a person has for the well-being of another is __________ love. 2. The kind of love that usually reaches its peak during engagement or early marriage when the couple is very emotional towards each other is __________ love. 3. List 3 factors that influence a person’s choice of a marriage partner and marital success. 4. List 3 functions of the engagement period. 5. True or false: In a successful marriage, a couple continually grows and changes throughout their lives.

Answers 1. Altruistic 2. Romantic 3. Family background, personal priorities, goals, standards, emotional maturity, age, social activities, parental approval, attitude toward marriage 4. Examine relationship, establish relationship with in-laws, make wedding plans, plan for future home 5. true