Marriage and the Wedding Service 1 Marriage is

Marriage and the Wedding Service 1

Marriage is the legal state (ie you can be legally married), but wedding refers to the ceremony only. In England Wales, the minimum age for marriage for both men and women is 16, but parents permission is needed for persons wishing to marry who are under 18 years of age. 2

Marriage • It is usual to have a period of engagement prior to a wedding. • There is no set time for this period, and it could last for several years. • It is usual for the man to propose marriage to the woman and for this to be done by presenting her with an engagement ring, though it is also possible that the couple will choose the ring together. 3

What traditions surround weddings in China? Make a list of the different traditions that surround weddings in China. Put on flip chart ready for reporting back. 4

Weddings may now take place not only in a Registry Office or Church, but in castles, hotels or stately homes. 5

Wedding day costs Weddings can cost a lot of money – perhaps £ 15, 000 Some of the expenditure includes: Bride’s wedding ring £ 500 Groom’s wedding ring £ 500 Wedding dress £ 1400 Headdress/veil £ 150 Flowers £ 500 Shoes/accessories £ 125 Groom’s outfit £ 200 Cars £ 300 Civil/Church fees £ 200 Photography £ 1000 Videography £ 400 Wedding cake £ 300 Reception venue £ 1000 Reception decorations £ 150 Evening reception/alcohol £ 1500 Wedding reception (food) £ 2500 6

Wedding Pictures 7

Questions about marriage In pairs prepare questions about Marriage and Weddings in the west. 8

Wedding day customs The bride traditionally wears a long white dress and a veil. A traditional rhyme suggests that she wear, ‘Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. ’ She may have bridesmaids, who walk with her up the aisle of the church and may hold her train. Some may be young children and one or more may be someone of the bride’s own age Boys taking part along with the bridesmaids are called Page Boys. 9

Wedding day customs The man is called the ‘groom’. He will be at the church before the bride. It is not thought to be good luck to see the bride before the wedding day. The groom does not see the bride until she arrives at his side in church. The groom is supported by a ‘Best Man’. This is often a close friend or brother. He is in charge of the wedding rings. He also makes a speech at the wedding, gives gifts to the bridesmaids, and helps to organize the event as a whole. 10

Wedding day customs – at the church Traditionally, the bride is ‘given away’ by her father. This means that she will walk up the aisle arm in arm with her father, who then ‘hands her over’ to the groom at the front of the church. But due to the increase in the average of marriage and also the wish to be independent from one’s parents, this part is becoming less common. A brother or other male relative could ‘give her away’. 11

Wedding day customs – at the church Vows are exchanged and rings (usually plain gold) are also exchanged. These are worn on the third finger of the left hand. After the ceremony, the bride and groom go to sign the register at the back of the church, which is a legal document. When the bride and groom leave the church, confetti is sometimes thrown over them. Pictures are then taken of various groupings by the wedding photographer. 12

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Wedding day customs – after the ceremony The wedding party leaves to go to the reception, which often takes place at a local Hotel or Restaurant. At the reception, speeches are made by the father of the bride and the Best Man. A speech may also be made by the Maid of Honour (chief bridesmaid), but this is less common. The married couple have their first dance together on the dance floor after the speeches. 14

Wedding day customs – after the ceremony At the end of the reception, the married couple may leave to go on their honeymoon, or alternatively stay in the hotel and leave the next day. When the married couple leave, they will often find that their car has been decorated with the words ‘Just Married’ and tin cans and balloons are tied to the back of the car. This joke is often undertaken by the Best Man and friends. 15

The honeymooners’ car decorated in traditional style 16

Wedding day plan This is a sample timetable for a wedding taking place at 2 pm, from the bride’s point of view: 1: 00 p. m. The car arrives to take the bridal party to the ceremony location. 2: 00 p. m. Meet the groom at the ceremony location and exchange your vows; sign the Register- the couple is now officially married. 3: 00 p. m. The official photographer takes 17 photographs.

Wedding day plan 4: 00 p. m. Husband wife greet guests as they arrive for the wedding dinner and reception. 5: 00 p. m. Raise your glass; the Father of the Bride and Best man give their speeches. Guests also toast the couple. 6: 00 p. m. - 7: 30 p. m. Cut the wedding cake. According to wedding tradition the groom should place his hand over the bride's as they cut the cake together as a symbol of their shared future. First dance as a married couple. 18 8: 00 p. m. and later: Meet with the guests.

Change of name after marriage It is traditional in the UK for the woman to take the man’s surname; she will also now be called ‘Mrs’ (she is not entitled to be called ‘Mrs’ until she is married). So, for example, Miss Julie Smith marrying Mr Robert Jones would usually become Mrs Jones. Any children of this marriage would usually take the husband’s name, too. Some couples decide to create new names together, eg 19 Julie Smith and Robert Jones could become Mr and Mrs Smith-Jones

Divorce is allowed in certain circumstances: Adultery Unreasonable behavior Desertion (two years) Separation, agreed divorce (two years) Separation, contested divorce (five years) Thus the maximum amount of time to wait for a divorce would usually be 5 years. The rate of divorce in the United Kingdom has declined 20 in recent years.

Divorce in China Is divorce common in China? Is it easy or hard to divorce? What are some of the difficulties involved (eg Is the value of the home divided equally between the husband wife? Who gets custody of the children? )? 21