Managing Expectations Introduction Final year of primary school

Managing Expectations

Introduction • Final year of primary school • Important exam at the end of the year - Increased work load and study • Pressure to perform well • Period of transition to high school

What are our expectations this year? • High expectations - boys, parents, teachers, relatives • Good performance in KCPE according to ability and effort • Get a good high school- make it back to Strathmore? • Well rounded boys - academically, physically, spiritually, socially

What are our expectations this year? • Development of personal responsibility and confidence • More independent and develop ability to take care of themselves • More discerning - able to decide for themselves not always relying on peers

Challenges • Additional workload- revision, CATs • Conflicting advice- parents, elder siblings, teachers, tutors, relatives • Pressure to perform well- parents, teachers, students • Fear of the monster- If you fail, you are done. Life sentence?

Challenges • Time management • Last minute preparation • Tough choices between sports/play and study • Lack of motivation and will power to study • Distractions- TV, Music, Phones (Whatsapp groups, Instagram), Play Station (Fortnite, Apex Legends)

What can we do as parents? Do’s • Time with our children üTalk about your day and their day – helps understand our reality. üListen to their opinion and consider their options. Discuss pros and cons. Helps to develop critical thinking. üWill pass on our values as we interact

Do’s • Affirm our children- acknowledge little steps towards improvement. • Nurture other aspects not only academics – boosts their self esteem. Not all children are A students. • Appreciate the child’s strong points- loving, responsible

Study • Conducive environment • Develop a schedule- to give attention on all subjects. • Remove the distractions- Take away the laptop/ phone. Ban Fortnite! • Avoid disruptions during study- parties, visitors • Have breaks- 10 minutes every hour or two hours.

Study • Techniques of studying • Do they have notes- complete notes? • Revision notes • Flash cards • Mind maps • Past papers • Go over the work severally • Track performance and reevaluate progress

What else can we do? • Goal setting- academics, order. Lesson for life. • Encourage them to pursue something they enjoy – break from study • Develop personal responsibility • Develop critical thinking

Don’ts • Do not compare- with other siblings, friends, classmates, yourself • Comparing encourages vicious competition - success is not measured by academic standards alone • Avoid criticism- destroys and lowers self esteem

What do we demand from our children?

The Stress Curve Performance Overstressed Understressed Burnout Breakdown Developed by Dr. Jonathan Moch Stress Level

Manifestations of excessive stress • Anxiety, irritability • Loss of concentration, daydreaming, insomnia- lack of sleep • Poor appetite • Introverted & withdrawn • Other medical problems-headaches, ulcers, constipation, diarrhea

Preparing for results • Before results come out, they may be anxious • Any worries after the exams makes NO difference. • Be realistic about your child’s performance • Consider moderation of results • Our child’s reaction to his results depends on the pressure from himself and us.

Preparing for the results • Celebrate that your child has passed. • Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. If they do worse than expected, have options. • Even if you are disappointed, don’t show it. Forge the way forward

Choice of high school • Important discussion between parents and children • What are your child’s expectations? • What attributes are you looking for in a school? • Boarding vs day school – have we prepared them for this? • Consult widely- feedback from other parents, teachers, students • Visit the school with your child – marketing can paint a entirely different picture

Transition to high school • Same school- sense of achievement and sometimes they tend to relax. • Changing schools- May be happy to change. If not; üHelp them accept the change üBe open to new friends and teachers

Preparing for high school • Manage their time - Increased number of subjects with more workload • Be responsible for themselves - doing their own laundry • Other challenges- type of food (many requests for special diet), cold showers, hygiene

After KCPE • Manage the time well- shouldn’t be idle • Involved in house chores, taking care of younger siblings • Other interests- reading, learning/ improving on playing a music instrument • Caution on some externally organized activities

Conclusion • Period of transition for our sons from primary to high school, childhood to young adulthood. • Walk with them to help them develop into all rounded boys • Ultimate goal of raising children is not success in academics • True happiness doesn’t depend on material things or external events but what is inside us