Managing Challenging Behaviors Back to Basics Linda Schellenberg

Managing Challenging Behaviors Back to Basics Linda Schellenberg LMSW Director of Community Services The Center for Family Support Inc.

Understanding Challenging Behavior • In general, challenging behavior is seen as an event or events that serve a purpose for an individual • Challenging behaviors are largely learned through a history of interactions between the person and the environment. • Challenging behaviors may communicate something about a person’s unmet needs

Why do we do the things we do? • Attention – is the want or access to a person either verbally, physically, socially or related to proximity. • Tangible – is the want or access to an item, services, food or activity. • Sensory – the input into one or more sensoryperceptual pathways. (looks, feels, sounds, smells, or tastes good or otherwise produces pleasure for the person) • Escape – the need to escape or avoidance of a demand, task, or activity. Demands can be verbal, physical or related to proximity.

• For every event there is a beginning, middle and end. • Factors that occur before are called antecedents or causative factors. • There are both internal and external antecedents, causative factors or triggers.

Triggers Internal Antecedents • Illness, pain, body temperature • Psychiatric illness or symptoms • Memories of past experiences • Hunger or thirst • Fatigue • Adverse medication side effects External Antecedents • Aggression or assaultive behaviors of other persons • Challenging behaviors of others • Weather conditions • Crowds • Noise level • Change in routine

Early Warning Signs • Pacing • Raising voice more than usual • Heavy Breathing • Unusually argumentative • Suddently quiet • • • Wringing of hands Self-abusive Overt verbal threats Mistrust or fear Demanding or unusual increase in demands.

The importance of reviewing what is happening • It is important to take a look at what is happening in order to learn the function of the behavior. • Use tools that are easy to use and make sense in your daily life.

Learning Log Please take a moment to reflect on what is happening before, during and after LINDA displays out of the ordinary things. LINDA did this…… What happened BEFORE LINDA did this What happened AFTER LINDA did this What do you think it means?

What are behavioral supports? • Defined by what the individual needs. • Activities that surround the individual that create a satisfying life. • Makes an individual feel successful. • Puts an emphasis on lifestyle changers • Minimizes the use of punishers • Are proactive

Building Self Esteem • Offer encouragement • Talk with, not to the person • Teach constant choice • Adjust your help • Show faith in abilities • Help overcome hurdles • Understand concerns • Emphasize gains • Show satisfaction with small gains • Show appreciation of effort and enjoyment over quality. • Emphasize strengths. • Encourage identification with others.

Verbal Calming Techniques • Ventilation – Allow the child to appropriately express their frustration. Never tell the child what is wrong with him/her. This child must be allowed to say what he/she wants to say without interruption. • Distraction – Control the conversation by asking the child short questions that require short answers • Reassurance – Tell the child that you are present and able to provide help.

Verbal Calming Techniques • Understanding – Acknowledge the fact that the child is angry without judging the child or the reason why they are upset. • Modeling – Controlling the tone of ones voice, speaking in simple, quiet, short sentences. Having a relaxed posture. • Humor – Humor can help alleviate some of the tension, however, sarcasm should not be used.

Verbal Calming Techniques • Reminder of natural consequences – Giving the child the opportunity or helping the child recall the positive things that will happen as a result of appropriate behavior. • One to One – One person as opposed to many may help the child to calm down. • Active listening – Listening and providing constructive feedback to the child. Feedback should rephrase what the child has said to help facilitate understanding of the problem. This gives the child the opportunity to see options or alternatives to their behavior.

Non Verbal Calming Techniques • Redirect to Another Activity – Starting the child on a different activity, especially one that is motivating, may serve to defuse the situation. This is also referred to as stimulus change. • Eye Contact – Making eye contact often helps to regain control by reminding them of their personal relationship with their parent. Know your child. • Close Proximity – Standing close to a child may make them feel more secure, but it also may be threatening. Know your child.

Non Verbal Calming Techniques • Touch – Some people find light physical contact reassuring, some may not. Know your child. • Effective use of space – Try to position yourself and the child in an areas to both ensure safety and relieve tension. • Body Posture – Try to convey a calm, in control mood by adopting relaxed nonthreatening stance and gestures.

Non Verbal Calming Techniques • Planned Ignoring – This is used to “extinguish” negative attention seeking behavior and should only be used as part of a treatment plan. It involves not giving the child attention for mildly disruptive behaviors. (this will only work if the function of the behavior is attention seeking. ) • Facial Expressions – As with body posture, relaxed and friendly facial expressions tend to be calming • Provide access to preferred objects and environments.

Considerations for parents or caregivers Know yourself Keep yourself calm Display self assurance Listen Don’t be in a hurry to give advice • Be sensitive to the childs self esteem • • • Identify the childs feelings – convey understanding and acceptance • Do not create a power struggle • Provide support • Take care of yourself!

Attachment Parenting as a Foundation • Special needs children need structure appropriate for their developmental age, not chronological age. • Beware of over attachment – it is easy for your whole life to revolve around your child – this is lose – lose! You will lose the joy of parenting and my burn out. • Value the child and don’t focus on the disability. Feeling loved from a parent helps a child cope with a lack of a particular ability.

• Help your child feel a sense of responsibility. It is natural to want to do for your child. However, teaching them to fish rather than giving them fish truly applies with our kids. The sense of accomplishment raises a chils sense of value and self worth. • Give your children choices – be sure that you like the alternatives! You may have to help them make choices but just the ability to make the choice helps the child to feel important. • View behavior as signals of needs – Everything that your child does will tell you something about what they need.

The 11 Commandments of Nanny 911 BE CONSIST No means no. Yes means yes. ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES Good behaviour is rewarded. Bad behaviour comes with penalties. SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN IT Think before you speak – or you’ll pay the price. PARENTS WORK TOGETHER AS A TEAM If you can’t be on the same page, your children are not going to know who to listen to – and they’ll end up not listening to anyone. DON’T MAKE PROMISES YOU CAN’T KEEP If you tell the kids you’re going to Disney land, better get ready to pack your bag. LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN Acknowledge their feelings. Say “I understand” and “I am listening” – then take the time to understand take the time to listen. ESTABLISH A ROUTINE Routines make children feel safe and give structure to their time. RESPECT IS A TWO-WAY STREET If you don’t respect your children, they are not going to respect you. POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT WORKS MUCH BETTER THAN NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT Praise, pleasure, and pride accomplish far more than nagging, negatives, and nay-saying. MANNERS ARE UNIVERSAL Good behaviour goes everywhere. DEFINE YOUR ROLES AS PARENTS It is your job to keep your children attached to you. It’s your job to prepare them for the outside world – and let them be who they are.

One Final Touch If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn. If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight. If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy. If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive. If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty. If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient. If a child lives with encouragement he learns to be confident. If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love. If a child lives with recognition, he learns it is good to have a goal. If a child lives with honesty he learns what truth is. If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice. If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and those about him. If a child lives with friendliness, he learns the world is a nice place in which to live to love and be loved. (Anonymous)