Making your writing readable Concise writing What is
Making your writing readable Concise writing
What is concise? �Using most effective words �Eliminate weak, unnecessary words
Roy Peter Clark advice �Cut big, then small
Replace vague words with specifics �One powerful word can replace several vague words.
Examples �The politician talked about several of the merits of after-school programs in his speech (14 words) �The politician touted after-school programs in his speech. (8 words)
Examples �Suzie believed but could not confirm that Billy had feelings of affection for her. (14 words) �Suzie assumed that Billy adored her. (6 words)
Be a word prosecutor �Does every word add something to the sentence? �Delete dead weight words.
Examples �The teacher demonstrated some of the various ways and methods for cutting words from my essay that I had written for class. (22 words) �The teacher demonstrated methods for cutting words from my essay. (10 words)
Examples �Since she was a little girl growing up in Lincoln, Brown has been a natural learner. (16) �Since she was a little girl in Lincoln, Brown has been a quick study. (14)
Unnecessary words �“in view of the fact” becomes �“because” �“set a new record” becomes �“set a record” �“in the vicinity of” becomes �“near”
Combine sentences �Some information doesn’t need a separate sentence.
Examples �New riders need to learn cycling etiquette. Brown said the riders taught her the basics of cycling. (17) � New riders need to learn cycling etiquette, and Brown said the group taught her the basics. (16)
Examples �The supposed crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. This crash is rumored to have occurred in 1947. (24 words) �The supposed 1947 crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. (16 words)
Eliminate words �Delete words that explain the obvious.
Examples �Imagine a mental picture of someone engaged in the intellectual activity of trying to learn what the rules are for how to play the game of chess. (27 words) �Imagine someone trying to learn the rules of chess. (9 words)
One word at a time �In fall 2006, Brown began training with her current coach, Marc Walter, of Rightway Personal Training. �In fall 2006, Brown began training with coach Marc Walter of Rightway Personal Training.
Modifiers �Eliminate unnecessary words or phrases
Examples �Balancing the budget by Friday is an impossibility without some kind of extra help. (14 words) �Balancing the budget by Friday is impossible without extra help. (10 words)
Cut these �kind of �sort of �really �basically �definitely �actually �generally
Watch for words that repeat �Our branch office currently employs five tellers. These tellers do an excellent job Monday through Thursday but cannot keep up with the rush on Friday and Saturday. (27 words) �Our branch office employs five tellers, who do an excellent job Monday through Thursday but cannot keep up with Friday and Saturday rush periods. (24 words)
Omit redundant pairs �past history �various differences �each individual �true facts �future plans �end result �final outcome �free gift
Omit redundant categories �large in size �often times �period in time �an early time �of cheap quality �in a confused state
Change phrases �Use a single word instead
Examples �The employee with ambition �The ambitious employee �The department showing the best performance �The best-performing department
Who, which, that �Dump unnecessary clauses
Examples �The report, which was released recently, �The recently released report �All applicants who are interested in the job �All job applicants
Make passive verbs active �An account was opened by Mrs. Jones. �Mrs. Jones opened an account. �A training schedule was created by Walter. �Walter created a training schedule.
Avoid these �Starting sentences with “It is” or “There are. ” �There are four rules that must be obeyed. �Four rules must be obeyed.
Avoid noun forms of verbs �The function of this department is the collection of accounts. �This department collects accounts.
Avoid unnecessary infinitive phrases �The duty of the clerk is to check the e-mail. �The clerk’s duty is to check e-mail.
Be direct. �At this point in time = now �In regards to = about �It is important that = must �Is able to = can
Credit to: OWL at Purdue �More resources: http: //grammar. about. com/od/words/tp/clutt er_tips. htm
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