Loss and Bereavement Training CSP SENCO Network 24
Loss and Bereavement Training CSP SENCO Network 24 th May 2018 Kathryn Parkinson Educational Psychologist
Outcomes • To understand the stages and reaction to grief. • To provide ideas to support young people who have experienced a loss. • To have awareness of practical tools to support children through their grief.
Overview of session • • Welcome and ground rules Theories of loss and bereavement Developmental Stages of Grief Supporting children 11 and under
Bereavement and Loss Training Introduction We will look at theories that can be used to help people understand bereavement and loss.
Theory Our understanding of what happens to people who experience a bereavement comes from looking at research psychologists have conducted on attachment, resilience and grief.
Attachment Theory • John Bowlby argued that the first year of a child’s life is very important for the child’s future mental health. In these early years the child forms an attachment (relationship) with their mother. The quality of that attachment will affect the quality of the future relationships the child will make. • Mary Ainsworth decribed children’s attachments finding that children could be categorised as being; secure or insecure (avoidant, ambivalent or disorganised). • Securely attached infants have had their needs for food and love met. They come to form a trusting attachment with their mother and this trusting relationship forms the basis for other relationships made subsequently.
Attachment Theory Insecure attachments • Avoidant – these children show an unselective attachment, treating parent and strangers alike. These children may avoid closeness with others as they fear rejection. • Ambivalent – these children may present as clingy and controlling. They are likely to be attention seeking and have poor self-confidence. . • Disorganised – these children have the most worrying attachment style. They may present as controlling and confused.
Bereavement Loss and Attachment • Bereavement is a risk factor in terms of a child/young persons mental health. • Having made a secure attachment is a resilience factor and may help a young person cope. • The first three years were seen by Bowlby to be crucial to development of attachment relationships. Loss of an attachment figure at this time is particularly important.
Other Risk and Resilience Factors Resilience Risk • Individual – e. g. easy temperament. • Family – e. g. supportive family. • School – e. g. sense of belonging. • Community – e. g. networks in the community. • Individual – e. g. difficult temperament. • Family – e. g. lack of warmth. • School – e. g. peer rejection. • Community – e. g. socioeconomic disadvantage.
Models of Grief • Kubler Ross (1973) Stages of loss • Colin Murray Parkes (1975) Phases of grief • Worden (1991) Four tasks of mourning • Stroebe & Schut (1999) Dual process model
Kubler Ross (1973) 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Denial and isolation Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance
Colin Murray Parkes (1975) Phases of Grief 1. Shock and despair 2. Separation and pain 3. Acceptance 4. Resolution and reorganisation
Worden (1991) The four tasks of mourning 1. To accept the reality of the loss 2. To work through the pain of grief 3. Adjust to an environment in which the deceased is missing 4. Emotionally relocate the deceased and move on with life Mourning is a long term process which does not proceed in a linear fashion
Stroebe & Schut (1999) Loss orientated • Grief work • Intrusion of grief • Breaking bonds and ties • Denial/avoidance of restoration changes Restoration orientated • Attending to life changes • Doing new things • Distraction from grief • New roles/identities and relationships
Summary theories of grief • Loss and bereavement are difficult for all of us to cope with because it breaks an attachment bond. The closer the bond the more difficult it is likely to be. Other risk and resilience factors will also affect how the person grieves. • Theories can help us to understand the grief process. However, each person’s reaction will be different.
Developmental Aspects Loss and Bereavement
Developmental Aspects Understanding / Beliefs 2 – 5 years • Death is temporary • Dead people do everyday things • They caused the death • Heightened sense of vulnerability • Worry about who will care for them now
Never Too Young To Grieve • https: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=Svod. M Cq 8 Eo 8 • Video clip
Behaviour 2 – 5 years • • • Move in and out of grief Become fearful if separated from carer Lack of self confidence Can become withdrawn, or acting out Sleeping, eating, going to school difficulties
How to help 2 – 5 years • • • Provide reassurance/ security Maintain routines Meet physical needs Identify who the child can go to for help Praise the child frequently (i. e. you’re not to blame) • Answer questions factually • Provide practical ways of remembering
Understanding/ beliefs • • 5 -9 years Death is permanent Understand that bodily functions cease May think death is contagious Concept of death is curious and realistic Interested in the details Need to know the cause May personify death as a monster/ ghost
Behaviour 5 -9 years • • Express guilt Behaviour changes Angry, compliant, withdrawn, sad, lonely May show regression
How to help 5 -9 years • Liaise with carer • Answer questions honestly, factually, & precisely • Follow the child’s lead – when they are ready to talk • Maintain routines and activities • Encourage continuation of friendships • Allow regression • Cherish positive memories
Developmental aspects 9 -11 years • Sense of own mortality developing • More understanding of the permanence of death • Magical thinking ‘It’s my fault because I shouted’ • Matter of fact acceptance • Death is inevitable • Interested in biological aspects • Worry about who will care for them
Behaviour 9 -11 years • • Express sorrow as adults do May show sadness, loneliness, low mood Become the perfect child May show anger Role play & drawings include violence Problems with learning Needs to control
How to help 9 -11 years • • • Give explanation at every stage Maintain routines Allow regression Give praise and positive feedback Share feelings with others who have suffered loss • Create memory box
Grief Encounter Clip • https: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=gcl. HP BFbp_w
Understanding/ beliefs - adolescence • • More adult in their thinking Death is inevitable/ final; but: Denial of their own death is strong Associate it with old age & severe illness Death is remote, can be controlled Have opinions about death Aware of long term consequences Understand spiritual/ abstract elements
Behaviour- adolescence • • • Sadness, withdrawal, loneliness Mood changes, low moods Act out anger Reject adults, reluctant to talk Cover up fears and feelings with jokes and sarcasm • May regress • High risk activities
How to help - adolescence • • Allow private space; but: Try to give comfort Take feelings seriously Include in planning funeral etc arrangements • Include in family activities • Encourage time with friends • Arrange for an adult to offer help/ support
Useful resources to have in school • Beyond the Rough Rock – Supporting a child who has been bereaved through suicide – Winston’s Wish • A Child’s Grief – Supporting ac child when someone in their family has died – Winston’s Wish • Hope Beyond the Headlines – Supporting a child bereaved through murder or manslaughter – Winston’s Wish
More useful resources • Never Too Young To Grieve – Supporting Children under 5 after the death of a parent – Winston’s Wish • Remember Me – Penhaligon’s Friends • Cruse Bereavement Care – Helping Children leaflet • I Can Cards – NCB
Useful Websites • http: //www. winstonswish. org • https: //www. ncb. org. uk • https: //childbereavementuk. org/forfamilies/support-for-bereaved-children/ • https: //www. cruse. org. uk/children/how-tohelp • https: //www. nhs. uk/conditions/stressanxiety-depression/children-andbereavement/
And Finally • Take care of yourself and your family • What are you going to do later today? • Evaluation – Please complete the evaluation form • Bubbles
- Slides: 35