Loneliness and Solitude Loneliness often results from certain

Loneliness and Solitude • Loneliness often results from certain events in life such as: – Death of someone we love – The decision to leave a secure job for an unknown one – Moving to a new city – A long stay in a hospital • Loneliness is an experience of feeling set apart from others • Loneliness can indicate that we’ve failed to listen to our inner voice

What is the difference between LONELINESS and SOLITUDE? Ø Loneliness: (Def. ) A state of painful isolation, of feeling cut off from others. Ø Results from certain events in our life: the death of a spouse, divorce, empty-nest syndrome, etc. Ø Loneliness is generally something that happens to us, rather than something we choose to experience; we can choose the attitude we take toward it! Ø If we allow ourselves to experience our loneliness, even if it is painful, we may be surprised to find within ourselves the sources of strength and creativity. Ø Loneliness may peak in adolescence: Ø begin to differentiate from the family of origin.

What Causes Loneliness? Causes of Loneliness: (lonely people share these common characteristics) Ø Lack of social skills Ø Lack of interest in other people. Ø Lack of empathy. Ø Fear of rejection. Ø Lack of ability to appropriately self-disclose. Ø Cynicism and sarcasm. Ø Too demanding. Ø Pessimistic attitude. Ø External Locus of Control. (Victim Role)

What are other Ways People Attempt to Escape from Facing Loneliness? Ø Living an overscheduled life Ø Striving for perfect control of the environment Ø Surrounding ourselves with people Ø Becoming a slave to routine Ø Numbing ourselves with alcohol or drugs

Some Consequences of Shyness • Shyness can make it difficult to communicate effectively • Shyness often holds people back from meeting new people • Shyness may prevent people from expressing themselves • Shyness often results in feelings of depression, anxiety, and loneliness

Loneliness and Life Stages • • • How we deal with the feelings associated with loneliness is very much influenced by various experiences growing up. Some of these experiences are part of the growing up process, and need to be evaluated as such. We have a tendency to view these as abnormal, and try to avoid them at all cost, when in reality they are a necessary part of our psychosocial development.

Solitude • Solitude is typically something we choose for ourselves • In solitude, we make time to be with ourselves and to discover who we are • Solitude provides an opportunity for renewal • Through solitude we are able to examine our lives and gain a sense of perspective

Solitude Ø Solitude is something that we often choose for ourselves. Ø In solitude, we make the time to be with ourselves, to discover who we are, and to renew ourselves. Ø Solitude can become an antidote to loneliness. Ø Many of us fail to experience solitude because we allow our life to become more and more frantic and complicated. Ø We may fear that we will alienate others if we ask for private time, so we alienate ourselves instead!! Ø Aloneness can become the source of your strength and the foundation for the relatedness to others. Ø Choosing time to be alone gives us the opportunity to think, plan, imagine, and dream; it allows us to listen to ourselves and to become sensitive to what we are experiencing. Ø In solitude we can come to appreciate anew both our separateness from and our relatedness to the important people and projects in our lives.