Listening Well to Love Well James 1 19

Listening Well to Love Well James 1. 19

Listening Well to Love Well Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. ’ (Jas 1. 19, NLT)

Listening Well to Love Well

Why listening well is loving well? - We listen to someone’s pain and struggle. - Able to offer words of kindness Kind words are like honey sweet to the soul and healthy for the body (Prov 16. 24) - We become channels of God’s kindness My visit to a nursing home

How to Listen Well Jesus heals blind Bartimaeus (Mark 10. 46 -52) The two components of listening: - The listener’s attitudes and actions. Jesus’ attitude (I-Thou) - compassion Jesus’ action (I-Thou) - listening to Bartimaeus’ deepest needs

How to Listen Well Crowds’ attitude (I-it) - self-focused Crowds’ action (I-it) - yelling to silence Bartimaeus

Attitudes of the Listener Listening Poorly (I-it) Listening Well (I-Thou) Critical Empathetic Defensiveness Secure with who he is Judgmental Nonjudgmental Preoccupied with self Attentive Rejecting the other Accepting I am better than you I can learn from you Impatient Unhurried

Actions of the Listener Listening Poorly (I-it) Listening Well (I-Thou) Lack of eye contact Listen to what is said Thinking of what to say next Listen to how it is said Interrupting Listen to the end Talking too much Off-topic Attend to non-verbal messages Use mm, aha, yes, go on, nod Broken record Use open-ended questions Interrogating Silences the phone Recounting similar story Barrage of cognitive questions Pay attention to feelings

Listener’s Attitudes and Actions Reasons for Poor Listening (Cell Groups) - avoid deeper sharing. - unaware of their poor listening. - don’t know how to be productive group members. Show grace, kindness. Give the benefit of doubt.

Listener’s Attitudes and Actions Redirecting Negative effects undeniable Need to Redirect Nothing personal Members could minister to one another. God to do His deeper work in us.

Listener’s Attitudes and Actions What are some results from listening well? - people feel supported. - burden feels lighter. - fresh perspectives or understanding. - solution may emerged on its own. - greater trust, deeper bonding

Listener’s Attitudes and Actions Fools have no interest in understanding, they only want to air their own opinion (Prov 18. 2) To answer before listening, that is folly and shame (Prov 18. 13) Be wise. Listen well.

Drawing Out the Feelings How to Listen Well

Drawing Out the Feelings Though good advice lies deep within the heart, a person with understanding will draw it out (Prov 20. 5). Listening well helps to draw out people’s true intentions, motives and feelings.

Drawing Out the Feelings - Feelings often intermingled with our real motives or intentions. - Sometimes when feelings are released: - problem solved. - thoughts/desires clarified. - better, Godly decisions made.

Drawing Out the Feelings Jesus and the Samaritan Woman at the Well (John 4. 4 -42) She was living in great shame “Please, sir, ” the woman said, “give me this water! Then I’ll never be thirsty again, and I won’t have to come here to get water. ” (v 15) “Go and get your husband, ” Jesus told her (v 16) She made the right decision to receive Christ as her Savior

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