Listening That Matters Nancy Grabe M S W

Listening That Matters Nancy Grabe, M. S. W. , Marietta City Parent Mentor Renee Davis, M. S. W. , Douglas County Parent Mentor

Let’s Not FALL Fix Analyze Lecture Leave Used with permission…From Hurt to Hope, Farrar Moore with Sheryl Cook and Betty Plank, Caring Resources, Nashville, TN, 2009.

Let’s LIVE Listen Identify Validate Evaluate Used with permission…From Hurt to Hope, Farrar Moore with Sheryl Cook and Betty Plank, Caring Resources, Nashville, TN, 2009.

Listen How do we really listen to someone? Active Listening

Active Listening Pay Attention Give your undivided attention Stay focused Think about what the person is saying, not what you are going to say

Active Listening Signal That You Are Listening Eye contact Body language Verbally

Active Listening Reflect It sounds like you are saying… I’m hearing you say… What you are saying is…

Active Listening Let the Person Finish Talking Avoid interrupting Listening pauses are okay Give the person time to think

Active Listening Give Appropriate Responses Be respectful Avoid “shoulds” The Golden Rule

Active Listening Key to Success Practice

Identify with the Person Show empathy You must have felt… You sound upset…

Identify the Issue Why did they call? What is the focus? Help them figure out what they need

Identify Phrases to Avoid I know how you feel… If I were you I would…

Validate the Person & the Emotion What the person is feeling is real We are not saying the person is right Feel, Felt, Found

Validate Phrases to Avoid You should or shouldn’t feel… Absolutes Nevers

Evaluate At the End of the Conversation Give feedback Provide a summary Discuss action plan and responsibilities

Listening Situations Parent Meeting Phone Group

Important Confidentiality Take notes with permission Ask meaningful questions Be careful of pitfall questions

When a Person Asks… What should I do? If you tell someone what to do, there is no motivation for the person to follow through Instead, present options Don’t you think that was…? Instead of giving your opinion, identify and validate

Remember… You cannot change or control someone else All problems are best solved in community Most of the time people know the answer…they just need someone to listen as they talk through it Leave the drama on the stage