Listening Overview Listening Listening vs Hearing Definition A

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Listening

Listening

Overview • Listening – Listening vs Hearing – Definition – A five step listening

Overview • Listening – Listening vs Hearing – Definition – A five step listening process – What we know about it – Why is listening so difficult – Steps to better listening – How to help someone listen to you

Hearing vs Listening • Hearing – Physical act of receiving sound – Passive process

Hearing vs Listening • Hearing – Physical act of receiving sound – Passive process – No effort • Listening – Selective process – Active process – Takes work

Definition: Listening A selective process of: q receiving, q attending to, q understanding, q

Definition: Listening A selective process of: q receiving, q attending to, q understanding, q Evaluating, and q responding to auditory messages

Five Step Listening Process • Receiving – starts with a sound • Attending to

Five Step Listening Process • Receiving – starts with a sound • Attending to – paying attention to the sound • Understanding – assigning meaning “I get it!” • Evaluating – agreeing or disagreeing • Responding – action (verbal or non-verbal)

What We Know About It • Listening -- the most used communication skill Research

What We Know About It • Listening -- the most used communication skill Research shows: • Most people spend 70% of their waking time in some form of communication activity • Of this 70% of communication time: -- 10% is spent on writing -- 15% on reading -- 30% on talking -- 45% on listening

What we know about it, cont. • Listening - least developed of all communication

What we know about it, cont. • Listening - least developed of all communication skills. • Failure to listen is costly. • Listening - one of the most valuable skills you can develop. • Listening classes/workshops improve listening skills. • Communication process depends on listening.

Listening Habits Survey Scoring: (20 -100) Almost always = 2 Usually = 4 Sometimes

Listening Habits Survey Scoring: (20 -100) Almost always = 2 Usually = 4 Sometimes = 6 Seldom = 8 Almost never = 10 Listening Habits Survey by Steil, Barker and Watson 80 or above is exceptional 70 is around average or normal Below 60 need improvement

Listening-Why So Difficult? • Uninteresting topics • Speaker’s delivery, appearance, or voice • Over

Listening-Why So Difficult? • Uninteresting topics • Speaker’s delivery, appearance, or voice • Over stimulation by the message • Listening for facts • Outlining everything

Listening-Why So Difficult? Cont. • • • Faking attention Internal and external distractions Avoiding

Listening-Why So Difficult? Cont. • • • Faking attention Internal and external distractions Avoiding difficult material Emotional words Wasting the speed differential

Steps to Better Listening • Pay Attention – Look at the speaker – Put

Steps to Better Listening • Pay Attention – Look at the speaker – Put aside distracting thoughts – Don’t mentally prepare a rebuttal – Avoid environmental distractions – “Listen” to the speaker’s body language

Steps to Better Listening • Show that You’re Listening – Nod occasionally – Smile

Steps to Better Listening • Show that You’re Listening – Nod occasionally – Smile & use other facial expressions – Note your posture – make it open and inviting – Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like “yes” and “uh huh”

Steps to Better Listening • Provide Feedback – Reflect back by paraphrasing “What I’m

Steps to Better Listening • Provide Feedback – Reflect back by paraphrasing “What I’m hearing is, ” and “Sounds like you are saying” – Ask questions to clarify certain points. “What do you mean when you say? ” “Is this what you mean? ” – Summarize speaker’s comments periodically

Steps to Better Listening • Defer Judgment – Allow the speaker to finish each

Steps to Better Listening • Defer Judgment – Allow the speaker to finish each point before asking questions – Don’t interrupt with counter arguments

Steps to Better Listening • Respond Appropriately – Be candid, open and honest –

Steps to Better Listening • Respond Appropriately – Be candid, open and honest – Assert your opinions respectfully – Treat the other person in a way you think he or she would want to be treated

Listening Suggestions How to Help Others Listen to You • Be a good listener

Listening Suggestions How to Help Others Listen to You • Be a good listener yourself • Be interesting to talk to • Use good eye contact • Tell the truth • Use the listener’s name regularly

Summary • Listening – Listening vs Hearing – Definition – A five step listening

Summary • Listening – Listening vs Hearing – Definition – A five step listening process – What we know about it – Why is listening so difficult – Steps to better listening – How to help someone listen to you