Lets Talk About Teens Sexting What Caregivers Can

Let’s Talk About… Teens & Sexting: What Caregivers Can Do

Context 88% of teens have a phone, 92% go online daily --- http: //www. pewinternet. org/2015/04/09/teens-social-media-technology-2015/ Half of all teens (50%) have let someone know they were interested in them romantically by friending them on Facebook or another social media site. … and 85% of teen daters expect to hear from their significant other at least once a day --http: //www. pewinternet. org/online-romance/ One in three adolescents in the U. S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner. --- http: //www. loveisrespect. org/resources/dating-violence-statistics/

“I use technology every day. And basically it’s like my lifeline. And if my parents decided to take my phone away, then I would probably be all messed up in the head. ” (Male Teen, Ohio) --- Building a Prevention Framework to Address Teen “Sexting” Behaviors https: //www. ncjrs. gov/pdffiles 1/ojjdp/grants/244001. pdf

“I was driving my son’s girlfriend home, he’s in the front seat next to me, she’s in the back seat, and it’s total quiet the whole way, until I realize they’re texting each other, rather than speak in front of me. ” (Mother, Massachusetts) --- Building a Prevention Framework to Address Teen “Sexting” Behaviors https: //www. ncjrs. gov/pdffiles 1/ojjdp/grants/244001. pdf

“[Technology is] extremely important, in that they don’t even notice anymore that they’re doing it. We have issues with cell phones. And, you know, in their mind, they shouldn’t be in trouble, because it’s just natural to have that cell phone attached to your hand. It’s an extension of who we are. ” (Administrator, Massachusetts) --- Building a Prevention Framework to Address Teen “Sexting” Behaviors https: //www. ncjrs. gov/pdffiles 1/ojjdp/grants/244001. pdf

Personal Experiences • How do you see teens using tech to date, flirt, or even sext? • How do you feel about it? • What worries you?

A recent poll surveyed parents of children between the ages of 10 and 18 before the September 2011 school year and found that nearly half of parents listed sexting as their top concern and 49% of respondents said that their child had received an inappropriate image or message via text. --- Rogers, K. , Sexting Tops Parents’ Back to School Worries, Fox Business (August 19, 2011) http: //www. fox-business. com/personal-finance/2011/08/18/sexting-tops-parents-back-to-school-worries

What is Sexting? Images, videos, or text messages with explicit content that are sent by message, app, or social media on a phone or computer. It can include… • • • Activities such as sending, receiving, forwarding, requesting, coercing Format such as images, videos or explicit text Content such as suggestive, nudity, threats, violence Settings such as home or school or purely online; messaging, social media or apps Situations such as flirting, dating, abusive, bullying, larger groups, etc.

“I think for me the obvious examples are easy to find. You know, the pictures. . . Where I fall down a little bit is appropriate versus inappropriate, you know, exactly what is that definition? Does it go down to certain words? I mean does that cover flirting and what is over the line with flirting? ” (Mental health Professional, Ohio) --- Building a Prevention Framework to Address Teen “Sexting” Behaviors https: //www. ncjrs. gov/pdffiles 1/ojjdp/grants/244001. pdf

How Common is Sexting? National studies found between about 4 -20% of teens have sent an image. One particular study in 2011 found that… • Youth are more likely to receive than send nude photos and sexually charged messages. • About half of those who sent a nude photo felt pressured to do so • Sending a sext is far more prevalent among young adults (19%) compared to teens (7%) • Among those who have sexted, 10% have done so with people they only know online, marking a sizeable decrease from 29% in 2009. -- Executive Summary: 2011 AP-MTV Digital Abuse Study. http: //www. athinline. org/pdfs/MTV-AP_2011_Research_Study -Exec_Summary. pdf

Teen Attitudes About Sexting • Most teens who sexted did so with someone they were dating. • Likelihood increases with age. • Half of all who sent an image felt pressured to do so. • Most kids (even those who sext!) already think that sending sexts of someone under 18 is wrong, or that kids their age are too young to do it.

“. . . it's in the media, you know sex tapes, or things like that. . . And so it kind of seems more normal to kids, which makes me think that they're doing it, and it feels like kind of casual. ” (Health and Wellness Teacher, Massachusetts) --- Building a Prevention Framework to Address Teen “Sexting” Behaviors https: //www. ncjrs. gov/pdffiles 1/ojjdp/grants/244001. pdf

What Can Go Wrong? • It can go viral – and this can increase the permancy of the image or video. • They can get in trouble (with caregivers, their school, the law). • It can be part of dating abuse or peer bullying.

"It’s safer to be mean when you’re in the comfort of your own house sitting in your pajama’s, in your bedroom. But the kids would never say that, or rarely say that, to each other, face‐to‐face. ” (Administrator) --- Building a Prevention Framework to Address Teen “Sexting” Behaviors https: //www. ncjrs. gov/pdffiles 1/ojjdp/grants/244001. pdf

So What Should We Do? • What is your first reaction? • How can we successfully help teens navigate these waters?

Why Not Zero Tolerance? • Safety: pressure to sext can be abusive. • Studies show checking their messages didn’t make sexting less likely. • Sexting peaks in the mid 20’s to mid 30’s. Help them learn how to be safe and smart now. • Most teens (even those who sext!) already think that sexting is dangerous or wrong. • Teens can be leaders in helping their peers. • Education efforts are working!

“To whoever is listening, talking to your kid, don’t try to tell them not to have sex, and do this and that, because it’s not going to stop it. Just try to help them, try to talk about being safe, just like. . . try to educate. ” (Male Teen, South Carolina) --- Building a Prevention Framework to Address Teen “Sexting” Behaviors https: //www. ncjrs. gov/pdffiles 1/ojjdp/grants/244001. pdf

“(parents and schools need to) be more open, talk to us more, try to see what is going on. . . don’t be so quick to judge, don’t be so quick to jump on our throat if you see half a thing go bad. . . ” (Female Teen, South Carolina) --- Building a Prevention Framework to Address Teen “Sexting” Behaviors https: //www. ncjrs. gov/pdffiles 1/ojjdp/grants/244001. pdf

“You know, it’s just awkward and uncomfortable in general. . . because it’s just. . . probably considered by my kids (as) ‘you couldn’t possibly understand’, or ‘I don’t see you as sexual, I don’t even want to imagine that’s something in your world. ’ And then. . . ‘if you knew kind of what I participated in. . . I’d be in trouble, I don’t want to lose my privileges and stuff. ’ So I think it’s a real-- and it takes a lot of diligence to have those kind of discussions. ” (Father, Massachusetts) --- Building a Prevention Framework to Address Teen “Sexting” Behaviors https: //www. ncjrs. gov/pdffiles 1/ojjdp/grants/244001. pdf

“I don’t think there’s the silver bullet, it’s got to be. . . a combination of corporations, school districts, and government entities that get the word out there. And then as educators, the better we equip our kids to make good decisions, no matter what those decisions are, I mean, the kids, you know, ultimately are going to make their own decisions. ” (Classroom teacher, South Carolina) --- Building a Prevention Framework to Address Teen “Sexting” Behaviors https: //www. ncjrs. gov/pdffiles 1/ojjdp/grants/244001. pdf

Start a Conversation Key things to help guide your conversation: • The topic of sexting is a doorway into the bigger and more holistic conversations that caregivers can have with teens. • Sexting is just one part of the bigger picture of healthy relationships and sexuality. • Smartphones and social media are a regular part of flirting and dating. We have to resist shaming teens for engaging in relationships in these venues. • Above all, make it clear that you are here to help if they have questions or need help.

Conversation Starters It’s great to let teens share their opinions and experiences first; let them teach you: • What do they think of sexting? What do their friends do? • What they would do if they received a forwarded sext? • What they would do if a friend was asked to sext? How would they help them? • If a friend was pressuring someone else to sext, how could they to say what they are doing is not cool? These can be woven into conversations about helping friends, bystander intervention, social dynamics, dating, and boundaries.

Talking About Sexting Schools are in a pivotal role to promote these conversations! As a trusted adult you can… • Promote healthy relationships, both romantic and friendships • Support bystander intervention • Encourage safe and responsible technology use • Identify how teens can get support if they or a friend find themselves in situations like these

Resources For Caregivers & Schools To Share with Teens • 100 Conversations • A Thin Line • Net. Smartz • That’s Not Cool • Media. Smarts (Canada) • Common Sense Media Web addresses are on your handout!