LEQ HELP Common Mistakes Made Format 1 st

LEQ HELP!! Common Mistakes Made

Format ■ 1 st Paragraph: Contextualization followed with your thesis statement ■ 2 nd Paragraph: First similarity between the Ottoman and Qing ■ 3 rd Paragraph: Second similarity between the Ottoman and Qing ■ 4 th Paragraph: Complex understanding

Historical Context ■ Connects the big picture to the prompt ■ What is happening in the world during this time period that you could relate to the Qing and Ottoman Empires? ■ The prompt gives you an idea. . . ■ About 3 -4 sentences on what's happening in the world, why does that matter, connect it to Qing and Ottomans, lead into thesis

Examples ■ "During the 19 th and 20 th centuries, the world began to modernize and form into what it looks like today. Important events that were happening around the world included industrialization, imperialism, and the scientific revolution. "

Examples ■ "Many empires around the world (China, Japan, Ottoman, etc. ) are facing ambitions of Europeans and becoming enmeshed in networks of trade, investment, and migration. This is causing these empires to be greatly touched by European culture and placed into this new idea of modernity. Areas were adapting aspects from the West, and overall, a large global shift of power was occurring. In the late nineteenth and earlier twentieth centuries, Qing China and the Ottoman Empire both experienced dramatic and harsh influences from the West, and both attempted to self-strengthen to save themselves. "

Thesis ■ Your argument that is going to shape your entire paper ■ DIRECTLY address the prompt!!!!! – Reword the prompt in your thesis – keep it simple! ■ Include the TWO specific things you will be discussing in each of your body paragraphs – In this case, 2 similarities ■ Must be a historically defensible claim! – Can you defend your thesis with specific and detailed evidence? ? ?

Examples ■ Prompt: Develop an argument that evaluates the extent to which government responses to economic change in the late nineteenth and the turn of the twentieth centuries were similar in Qing China and in the Ottoman Empire. ■ "The way that the governments of the Qing and Ottoman Empires responded to changes and issues were very similar in that they both believed if they stayed with their traditional values and ways of life, they would eventually return back to the strength they once had in the past. Another similarity they both shared was their economic weaknesses, both becoming dependent on Europe. " ■ Qing China and the Ottoman Empire both experienced dramatic and harsh influences from the West, and both attempted to selfstrengthen to save themselves.

Body Paragraphs ■ First sentence - "topic sentence". ■ Should relate directly back to your thesis!!! ■ Your evidence should not be VAGUE, it needs to have as much detail as possible in order to SUPPORT your thesis. ■ Don't just list off facts – make sure to include why it matters!! How does it support your argument? ? ■ Bring everything back full circle (back to your thesis)

Example ■ "The way that the governments of the Qing and Ottoman Empires responded to changes and issues were very similar in that they both believed if they stayed with their traditional values and ways of life, they would eventually return back to the strength they once had in the past. Another similarity they both shared was their economic weaknesses, both becoming dependent on Europe. " ■ Topic sentence of first paragraph: "Both the Qing government and the Ottoman government believed that they would make it through their economic issues by sticking with their traditional methods and values. " ■ Last sentence: "The Qing and the Ottomans were both very conservative and not interested in change" ■ Topic sentence of second paragraph: "Another way the Qing and the Ottomans were similar in their responses to economic change was they both became economically dependent on Europe. " ■ Last Sentence: "Due to their economic failure, both the Chinese and the Ottomans relied heavily on Europe"

Examples ■ "Both the Qing and Ottomans would become economically dependent on Europe. The Ottomans were in debt because the mass production of cheap European goods undercut the Ottoman artisan producers. This made it very difficult for the Ottoman empire to produce revenue, forcing them to rely on European loans which gave Europe control of the Ottoman economy. " ■ "The Ottomans had to rely on Europe economically because they were still stuck in their old ways of making handmade artisan goods. Eventually they were in extreme debt to Europe due to loans, and ultimately Europe would have complete control over the economy. "

Examples ■ "The Chinese developed policies like the Canton System in order to restrict foreign trade and keep foreigners out since they did not have the modern technology to defend themselves" ■ "The Opium Wars ended with the Treaty of Nanking. This treaty put China in debt to Britain and opened many Chinese ports for trade, which made them even more dependent on Britain. "

Final Paragraph ■ This is NOT A TYPICAL CONCLUSION!!!! ■ "Complex Understanding" of the prompt – How is this topic like another time in history? – How is this similar to something else happening in the world during this time? – How were the Ottomans and Qing China different? ■ Examples?

Examples ■ "After both of their falls, the Ottomans and Qing China met very different fates. Post-WWI, the Ottoman empire collapsed into Turkey, losing the majority of their territory to Arabs and Europeans. Islam became the basis for their social renewal, while in China, an upheaval was staged by a communist regime and Confucianism was initially rejected (but eventually made a comeback). Even after all of their struggles, Turkey went back to tradition, and China, seeming wisely, did not. "

Reflection ■ Reflect on the LEQ that you wrote. With the feedback you were given and the notes that we just took, find 3 or more areas in your essay that need to be improved. ■ Write specific ways of how you could improve each of these areas in your essay. ■ Rewrite at least 1 part of your essay that you chose above. ■ How do you plan to improve your writing skills moving forward?