Leading with Emotional Intelligence Change You Can Believe

Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Change You Can Believe In Global Leadership Summit Loma Linda University February 2009 Dr. Susan M. Baker, Presenter Oakwood University

Emotional Intelligence (EI) EI has been called one of the most important skills of 21 st century for personal and professional effectiveness n Is considered by some to be more significant than intelligence quotient (IQ) n Popularized by psychologist Daniel Goleman n Many EI principles are Bible based n

Resources on EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Why Discuss EI? n n Leaders need a toolbox of effective strategies for leading people No matter where you are in the world, intelligent control of emotions is difficult for people In the global community, getting along with people is becoming more important than technical skills The challenges of leadership demand knowledge of how emotions impact effectiveness

Why Discuss EI Here? The Seventh-day Adventist Church aims to develop competent leaders driven by mission and excellence that inspires others to unity, growth, quality of life and discipleship. --Mission Statement from the Vision for Leadership Development in the SDA Church

Definition Emotional Intelligence Is: 1 st The ability to understand your emotions and the emotions of others 2 nd The ability to manage emotions, both yours and others 3 rd The power to use emotions to enhance, and not destroy

Biblical Insight For the commandments…are summed up in this one rule: “Love your neighbor as yourself. ” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore, love is the fulfillment of the law. --Romans 13: 9, 10

The World Health Organization The decline in the ability to control passions and emotions for the common good, rather than for self-interest, has caused the destruction of peace in individuals, families, communities, countries, and the whole world.

Iceberg in Antarctica

Anger Compassion Happiness Fear Contentment Depression Aggressiveness Lust Euphoria Enthusiasm Self -doubt Joy Bitterness Anxiety Love Spiritual Fervor Pride Guilt and Shame Trust Envy Confidence

All Emotions Need Management

The Emotional Center PREFRONTAL AREA 1 front back AMYGDALA

How Emotions Get Us In Trouble… What the research says about: n Hot emotions n Cold emotions n Low impulse control

Success Formula

Emotionally Unintelligent People L L L L Cause emotional train wrecks/general disturbance Get passed over for promotions Often have to change jobs frequently Constant drama with co-workers/subordinates Cause trouble in communities Raise *!+# in churches Have family and work problems regularly Make bad choices in love and other relationships

The Biblical Imperative How wonderful it is, how pleasant, when brothers live in harmony. Psalm 133: 1 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Romans 12: 18

It Takes Work! “But character is not the result of accident; it is not due to special favors or endowments of Providence. A noble character is the result of self-discipline, of the subjection of the lower to the higher nature--the surrender of self for the service of love to God and man. ” -Ellen White, Education

Four Keys To Building EI

#1 Self Awareness: Being aware of your emotions and honest about their impact on you and others Includes: n Being in touch with your emotional states n Knowing your strengths and limitations Biblical Insight: But let a man examine himself… (1 Corinthians 11: 28)

#2 Self Management: Making your emotions work for you and not against you Includes: n Keeping destructive emotions under control n Maintaining honesty and integrity at all times n Developing optimism, seeing the positive Biblical Insight: Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his (emotions) than one who takes a city. Proverbs 16: 32

#3 Relationship Management: Building collaborative and satisfying relations with others Includes: n Nurturing relationships with significant others n Helping others succeed n Managing conflict by using communication Biblical Insight: 1 Corinthians 13

#4 Social Awareness: Understanding and accepting the emotions and perspectives of others Includes: Accepting the diversity among people n Being aware of how organizations work n Service to others, the community, the world n Working to achieve justice n Biblical Insight: …what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6: 8

How To Increase Your EI: 1) Commit to living with EI 2) Identify area(s) to work on 3) Set up a plan for change 4) Put plan into action and evaluate results 5) Ask others you trust to help 6) Keep your emotional needs satisfied (avoid HALT)

Ten Things ALL People Need. . . Support (encouragement/positive reinforcement) Trust (ability to be vulnerable with hopes and fears) Laughter (puts life into perspective) Touch (physical contact humans vital to life) Intimacy (knowing and letting yourself be known) Communication (speaking and listening) Sharing (common experiences give strength) Community (family, neighbors, state, country) Passion (enthusiasm, vitality, intense feeling) Love (integral to being human; need to give and get)

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work and walking around life—and place it before God as an offering…Fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. --Romans 12: 1, 2 (The Message Bible)

God Bless You! Oakwood University 7000 Adventist Boulevard Huntsville, AL 35896 256. 726. 7000 www. oakwood. edu Education. Excellence. Eternity.