Leadership By Design Purpose Continue to develop leadership

“Leadership By Design”

Purpose Continue to develop leadership skills through a “practical/tactical” approach impacting those we lead by our actions.

Overview by Sessions • • • Communication Styles Difficult Conversations/De-Escalation Coaching/Mentoring Influencing Setting Clear Expectations/Accountability

Program Structure • Reporting – Key learning and sharing • Content – Advancing the lessons • Practice – Fine-tuning the skills • Real life experience – Practice the skills in everyday situations

Introductions (mini cohort) 3 minutes each • Current responsibilities • Most recent success (related to leadership) • Most recent challenge (related to leadership)

Communications Styles • Creating collaborative environments starts with an understanding that our style of communicating may be different from those with whom we work.

Three Quarters of people With Whom You Work ü Work differently from you when in groups ü Plan differently when with others ü Are motivated for different reasons ü Differ in willingness to take risks ü Make use of time differently ü Make decisions differently ü Manage tasks differently

Social Style Concept ü Social Styles® are predictable patterns of actions that others can observe and agree upon for describing one’s behavior ü All styles are successful and get results ü We all have style range and the ability to flex or adapt based on the situation

Observable Behaviors ü Actions - What we say or do ü That can be seen or heard ü Not the reasons or rationale behind those actions

Social Style : Some Patterns of Behavior …that make us more like some than others ü Quieter ü Louder ü Slower paced ü Faster paced ü Facially controlled ü Facially animated ü Monotone voice ü Inflected voice ü Indirect eye contact ü Direct eye contact ü Casual posture ü Rigid posture ü Leans back ü Leans forward

Social Style …identifying my behaviors: Analytical Ask/Listen Softer Moderate Pace Lean Back Less Opinions Slower Decisions Less Eye Contact Controlled Fact Less Expression Monotone Moderate Pace Task Driver Tell/Talk Louder Fast Paced Leans Toward More Opinions Faster Decisions More Eye Contact Emotive Amiable Feeling Emotion More Expressive Inflected Varied Pace People Expressive

Communication Style Strengths Analytical Ask/Listen Amiable Controlled Objective Precise Thorough Detailed Rational Controlled Supportive Empathic Loyal Group-Oriented Team Focus Sharing Decisive Tough Candid Efficient Results-Oriented Controlled Creative Enthusiastic Humorous Energetic Focus on Vision Promoter Emotive Driver Tell/Talk Expressive

Communication Style Gaps Analytical Ask/Listen Amiable Controlled Slow Overcautious Indecisive Inflexible Unfriendly Nit-Picky Rigid Complying Pushover Follower Self-Sacrificing Passive Hesitating Autocratic Overbearing Insensitive Impatient Presuming Ruthless Dominating Excitable High Strung Emotional Loose Cannon Lacks Detail Over-Commited Not Focused Emotive Driver Tell/Talk Expressive

A Little Styles Humor Getting on an elevator… Driver Walk up, press the button repeatedly thinking that it will get the elevator to arrive sooner. Expressive Let others in…saying “always room for one more, we’ll wait for you!” Amiable Watch the whole elevator bank – never just that one elevator – so that you can get an “express” elevator just for your team. Analytical Get on the elevator, count the number of people, and guess their weight to determine if car is overloaded.

Styles Under Stress Analytical Avoids Withdrawals Amiable Acquiesces Goes Along Driver Commands Takes Over Expressive Attacks Confronts

Style Attributes Need Orientation Growth Edge Expressive Recognition Spontaneity Restrain Analytical Accuracy Thinking Decide Sooner Amiable Harmony Relationship Speak Up Driver Results Action Listen

What is Style Flexing? Temporarily adjusting your behavior to manage tension and to encourage others to behave more productively with you

Four Steps to Style Flexing ü Recognize the other person’s style ü Plan your flex: content and delivery ü Do the flex, hold the meeting ü Evaluate how you did the flexing

Flexing to Style Preferences Analytical Ask/Listen Amiable Controlled Don’t rush, don’t waste time Answer all questions Give solid, tangible evidence Do not push/hard sell Do not over-promise Be relaxed, moderately paced Actively listen Get to know them Show personal interest Ask for their input/reaction Driver Be fast-paced, get to the point quickly Start with business, give the bottom line Use facts, not feelings Be clear, concise, and brief Don’t waste time Offer options with brief supporting data Be upbeat, fast-paced, fun Let them talk Allow time for socializing Tolerate digressions Give them choices Focus on the big picture Emotive Tell/Talk Expressive

Improving Your Versatility Analytical Controlled DECIDE Be more flexible, more open-minded Openly show more concern for other people Be decisive with data Listen for people’s feelings Ask/Listen DECLARE Be less sensitive Be willing to take risks Say “no” more often Let people know what you think Amiable Driver LISTEN Acknowledge different points of view Show more patience Tone down intensity Pay attention to feelings RESTRAIN & CHECK Tell/Talk less Spend more time looking at facts Control time and emotion Think before you speak Emotive Expressive

The Spirit of the Conversation Interrogation Interview Conversation

The Difficult Conversations ü Delivering tough news ü Discussing compensation ü Enforcing policy ü Handling complaints ü Developmental feedback ü Requesting help ü Conflicts and disagreements ü Negotiating ü Challenging others on their decisions

A Conversation Is. . . A process which allows two or more people to achieve mutual understanding in order to exchange information, move toward a specific goal, resolve a situation, and/or build relationships.

ü Who Difficult Conversation Content How to Plan for It – Who will be involved? – What are the communication styles involved, including you? – What can you do in advance to make each person more comfortable? – What signs of tension should you look for? ü Purpose – Why do you want to have the discussion/conversation “WIFM? ” – Goals – What you both hope to achieve? ü Rationale and/or Issue(s) – What are the critical issues for you or the company (or both)? – What’s the benefit of addressing this? – Why it might be a problem? ü Ideas – What ideas or solutions you have? ü Actions – What do you need to get agreement regarding? – Follow-up actions to be taken? ü Reactions – How do you have to self manage? – What reactions do you think you’ll receive from the other person?

Activity: Purpose Familiarize yourself with a process for preparing for crucial conversations. Timing 10 minutes Think of the crucial conversation you prepared as prework. Step 1 Step 2 Make notes on the worksheet provided about major points that will help you in preparing for this conversation. Discuss your thoughts with a partner and receive feedback from their perspective.

The Communication Process The engine at the heart of every conversation. Speaker and Listener play active roles. ü Your point is… ü Your concern is… ü You're asking… Listen Speak Check ü ü How does this sound? What are your thoughts? How are you seeing this? What do you think about… ü My thought is… ü I'd like to see… ü My experience is…

The Difficult Conversation ü Open Discussion – Purpose for discussion (WIFM) – Goals for discussion ü Present Critical Issue and Rationale – Issue to be addressed – Rationale and reason behind issue ü Ask for Reaction and Their Ideas ü Present Potential Solutions ü Close – Actions to be taken and by whom – Follow up to be done and by whom

Reflective Listening Reflecting Feelings Reflecting Thoughts and Feelings • You’re feeling… • You think… • You sound…because… • You sound… • You believe… • You’re feeling…about… • You look… • Your point is… • You’d like to know… • You’re asking… • You’re wondering… • Your concern is…

Nature of Stress & Defensiveness ü Automatic ü “Fight or flight” ü A predictable response ü Driven by our need to protect ourselves ü All about emotions

Styles Under Stress Analytical Controlled Commands/Takes Over Avoids/Withdrawals • • • Logically discuss the issue Acknowledge a need for time Set a distance Ask/Listen • • Driver Restate their concerns Offer options for moving forward Recommit to results and time frame Tell/Talk Ask open questions about concerns Allow them to express disagreement • • Amiable Acknowledge feelings and points of view Separate emotions from facts Expressive Acquiesces/Goes Along Emotive Attacks/Confronts

Handling Stress Reactions ü ü Speak: Send your message Ask: For reactions Listen: REFLECT, REFLECT reactions Response: Options: – Clarify/elaborate – Ask questions – Restate points of view – Get agreement going forward – Think about it/stop discussion

Typical Stress Reactions ü Surprise – Confusion – Disappointment – Questioning ü Anger/Hurt – Strong disagreement – Denial ü Rationalization – Justification – Excuses ü Apathy – Resignation – Silence – Lack of caring ü Acceptance – Acknowledging – Showing a willingness to improve

Opening – Starting Phrases ü “I’d like to talk to you about ____. I think we may have different ideas on how to _____. ” ü “I have something to discuss with you that I think will help us work together (even) more effectively. ” ü “I need your help with something. Can we talk about it? ” ü “I’d like to see if we might reach a better understanding about ____. I really want to hear your thoughts/feelings about this and share my perspectives as well. ” ü “I think we have different perspectives about ____. I’d like to hear your thoughts on this and move closer together on our points of view. ”

Watch For… ü Your tone of voice ü Loaded words ü Falling on one end of the assertiveness spectrum or the other ü Passive ü Aggressive (direct or indirect) ü Defensive reaction by the other person

Difficult Conversations ü ü ü ü Purpose: Goals: Issues and Rationale: Ideas and Solutions: Actions: Possible Reactions: Response Strategy:

De-Escalation Process Here is what we can do… What are you going to do? Tell me more… Help me understand… Walk me through… Give me an idea of… Clarify & Listen Based on what you said… Respond Between the two, which one should we deal with first? ue Iss d ew ale If NReve is Next Step If Only One Issue Isolate Primary Issue Restate & Cushion I hear you saying… What you said was… Draw Out Hidden Issues Is there anything else?