JOYFUL LIVING Prof P R Bijwe 1 JOYFUL

JOYFUL LIVING Prof. P. R. Bijwe 1

JOYFUL LIVING PRINCIPLES

Ü General Roosevelt: “If you think you can, or somebody who believes in you thinks you can, why then you can!” Ü I apply this to Joyful Living with conviction, and say, “Yes you can be definitely joyful. ” Ü Why This Lecture? I love you & wish to alleviate your pain to the extent possible. In my life I have tried to understand what makes us continuously joyful. I was always looking for simple, logical and practical steps which can make busy, intellectual young generation of today joyful. Ü One Word Abstract: Love. Be madly in love with yourself, others, your work, w/o conditions. Say yes to love, say yes to life. Then see the magic. 3

Ü Sadhguru: We are trying to use the most sophisticated machine on earth, the human being, without understanding how it works. Then how can we get the best out of it? Primary cause of misery. Ü This lecture an attempt in this understanding. Ü We need both life skills and livelihood skills. The foundational former skill not formally taught in schools and colleges. It makes you learn how to learn. Focus only on this. Ü Life skill concepts validated by scientific research in last 50 years. 4

Joyful Living Ü Great Joy Riddle: All want to be continuously happy. But barring occasional transients of happiness due to sense based pleasures or mind based result, recognition based ones, we are mostly unhappy. Ü We postpone joy: In result based joy beyond our control, we remain stressed, unhappy and keep waiting for joy. Ü Shawn Achor: Famous Harvard Psychologist Research. Success-Happiness Eqn reversed. Ü Comparison & Competition: We are trained to think these are essential. Envy, jealousy, worry, hatred and stress-consequences. This is divisivelack of trust. Winner(insecure)/loser(humiliation) both unhappy. Ü Any Alternative? Yes. 5

Ü An agitated mind can’t be joyful. Hence, Peace- Prerequisite. Ü Peace possible only when Harmony(no conflict) inside & outside. Possible only through Love for self, others and our work. Ü Serenity Prayer : God, give me the strength to lovingly change what I can; serenity to accept what I can’t; and wisdom to know the difference. § It is foundation of joyful journey. Can be applied everywhere w/o exception. § Meaning: Irrespective of easy/difficult situation, do your best, and accept the rest without negativity/resistance. § No competition. All help each other. Best for individuals and organization. 6

§ Some situations, we can change things easily. In others, we may not be able to change anything. Wait and improve peacefully. When weather coldwear woollens, thermals. When hot- use a. c. , fan. But get on with job. Learn to dance in the rain. Do the same in changing weather patterns of life. § Can you be happy after death, accident, sickness, failure? Event frozen. Only choice, what best can be done now § Joyful Alternative: § Mother Theresa: We can’t do great things in life, but we can do small things with great joy/love. Then we are always joyful w/o waiting for results. Success/failure don’t deter us. This is “Living in the Now”. 7

Ü Big Question: How to do it? We will see later. Ü Continued Happiness is Inside Job: Control what you can-Attitude, and response to situations, persons, not what you can’t- latter. § We do exactly opposite-hence, never happy. Ü Law of attraction: We attract persons and situations in sync with our dominant and consistent thought pattern and actions. If you think good/bad about others, they do the same. No exception. Ü Negativity reduces efficiency in dealing with situations/persons. Becomes vicious cycle. Ü Stop complaint factory and start gratitude factory for joy and efficiency. Attracts large no. of supporters. Failure then is difficult. 8

Ü Apprehensive about failure in exam, interview? Brain gets –ve signal, reduces efficiency of preparation and final performance and failure happens. Ü If positive, we get best results with whatever preparation we have. Applies everywhere, job, relationship, interview. Ü Anger, hatred, jealousy, envy acids which harm you most. Health, immunity affected. People avoid you. Ü Seed 1 st Crop Later: First give to others (love, respect, help) before expecting from them. Doing w/o return expectation is best for your joy. 9

Ü Practice Being Joyful : Most important secret. § In studies, games, music, we practice for what we want to be good at. § Same with happiness. Practice till it becomes your nature. Think, act, behave like a happy person. Today, we are doing exactly opposite: thinking, acting, behaving negatively, and still hope to be happy. We are surrounded by negative, pessimistic discussion in media, society, family. Want to be better in cricket, can’t practice hockey. § Behave Like a joyful person: Relaxed, smiling, smart in appearance and dress. Confident body posture. Voice medium. Respects and empowers others. Caring, compassionate. Lack of ego. 10

Ü Thought Conditioning: Our Belief Systems programmed by family, society, religion, country, w/o our knowledge. Virus infection. Owner sleeping. § Thoughts lead to feelings which lead to attitude. Creates personality and destiny. § Now, with awareness we can reverse the process. Selective Conditioning. § Subconscious like a fertile soil, multiplies what you plant poisonous/gd. What would you plant? § Beware of effect of company-Infection +ve/-ve. § Nature of thoughts-understand before conditioning. § Pure(positive), Necessary(actions), negative(anger, hatred), wasteful(past and future). 11

§ 95 % negative and wasteful. Phenomenal wastage of time & energy. Plug leaking tap. § Beware, monitor and change if reqd. Thoughts v. fast. Slower Emotions, feelings better monitors. Anger, fear effects known. § Search Inside Yourself: Chade Meng Tan § Best Google Program in a decade. Teaches you to avoid clinging to good things and aversion to painful things § Techniques to Improve +ve Thinking. § Slide/Substitution Strategy: Modify/Replace –ve thought. § Negativity Fast: Short duration 1 st. Increase slowly. § Remove blame, criticism, abuse in conversation Replace by praise, prayers, blessings. 12

Ü Acceptance: § Accept every negative situation/feeling. With awareness intensity reduces substantially. Check & let go. Accept even non-acceptance. That also helps. § Past hurts and future worries torment us and don’t allow us to do our best in the present moment. Don’t drive car looking into rear view mirror, or looking too far ahead. Both dangerous. Ü Love Peace: Disturbances rob us of peace. Never take imp decision when agitated. Best way to restore peace: “I love peace”, meditation, prayer, deep breathing. 13

Ü Programming Subconscious Mind: § Before physical creation, mental creation must. Subconscious mind can’t detect difference between real and imaginary. Program with positive thoughts with intense feelings to make it actually happen. Clarity, awareness imp. Repeat continuously. Ü Important Elements of Happiness Journey: § We are all integrated through same cosmic elements. Hence, harmony everywhere is natural. § Love, prayers, gratitude and affirmations foundation for harmony. Do everywhere, all the time practically possible. 14

§ Love Yourself Immensely: Requires great respect and gratitude for ourselves(body, mind). Foundation for happiness. Unflinching love despite circumstances, setbacks vital for self esteem. Miracle cure § Mirror Work: Everyday look into the mirror into your own eyes, with a loving smile, and say “ Sanjay, I love you as you are with all strengths and limitations. You are doing good and improving. ” § Love Your Mind: Meditation. § For body cleaning we take bath to remove germs and feel fresh. For cold, we were warm clothes, for heat we have a. c. When tired, we sleep. Mind also needs bath from germs of negativity, and rest from incessant mental chatter. Meditation does that. § Negativity & unhappiness-disturbed mind. Positivity & happiness-Peaceful mind. 15

Ü Meditation: Art of being peaceful. Practice in the morning/evening. Simplest is mindful breathing- Both pranayama and meditation. Start with just few minutes. Improves moods, concentration, self esteem. Just 10 mts practice - Better GRE scores, avoids stupid mistakes. § Extend to outside: 100 Step counting, mantra chanting, observing everything around with love, w/o thoughts/judgement. Tremendous power due to starving negativity. § Every hr, just take 3 deep breaths-refreshing. 16

Ü Importance of Rest & peace: Glass of Water. Not wt but how long you hold tires you. Same with mind. Learn to put down thought burden at least at the end of the day, and as many times as possible. 2 -3 mts. Ü Love Your Body: Quality food, exercise(30 mts), and rest VIMP. § Monitor feelings/stress, tiredness. Give periodic rest. Take short nap, wash room break, short walk, 3 deep breaths even in a meeting –Recharges. § Touch, look, speak to body with love. Very effective Ü Love Others: Deliberately, frequently. Gratitude, appreciation, help(whatever comfortable). Creates vast army of well wishers. Improves happiness & productivity. 17

§ Love God, Nature, Universe: Immense forces influencing us. Gratitude and prayers brings harmony and increased support. Feel good & strong. § When stressed, walk in green area and talk(good/bad) to trees: calms mind. Even ask advice. Connecting to cosmic forces makes huge difference. Ü Prayers : Greatest tool for joyfulness. Pray for nature, country, society, family, in fact every one around. Pray first for those who hurt you. Only +ve, intense prayers. Material, name & fame may not be given. Ask for Strength & wisdom. Definitely given. Ü Do you want help from God in every situation, or empowerment to handle these yourself? § Pray for Guidance in anything: Meditate and then pray. 18

Ü Gratitude: Best prayer. § Show gratitude, appreciation, throughout the day. Does far more good than just starving negativity. Start Gratitude factory and close Complaint factory. Hawk like eye for gratitude opportunity. § Do at least before going to sleep, and after waking up. Loving ritual. Ü Love, prayers, gratitude not for benefitting others but for your own cleansing and joyfulness. Ü Being unselfish is the most selfish thing. 19

Ü Affirmations: MIMP mind programming tech for +ve attitude. § Systematically replaces default negative. programs in subconscious mind. Do as many times a day as feasible. Even while walking. § Meditate and then do few selected affirmations like. § I am serene, tranquil and happy. § Everyday, in every way, I am getting better. § I have creative ideas to respond to all situations in life. § I am strong, able and calm. 20

Ü Smile & Laughter: Do it at will as a habit, even in most challenging situations. Show of confidence, defiance, +ve attitude. You can respond better. Improves immunity, personality. Wonderful happiness practice. Brings calm. § Miraculous healings reported. Ü Winning & Losing: We can be happy while initially losing if we take up challenges designed to improve capabilities. We can be unhappy while winning if we resort to short cuts, take easy challenge, and reduce capability. Ü Capability dynamic: When you approach limit, it expands. 21

ÜStress Busters: § Exercise § Soothing music/songs § Nature walk § Watching scenery Pics/videos § Uplifting Movies § Smile and Laughter § Prayers, Meditation § Sharing with positive friends and relatives § Dialogue with God 22

Ü Don’t Have Time? No worry. § Joyfulness improves efficiency and frees more time than you devote for this. 23