Jokes Joke Cycles and Practical Jokes by Don

Jokes, Joke Cycles and Practical Jokes by Don L. F. Nilsen and Alleen Pace Nilsen 1

KETCHUP: http: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=YQQD 9 b. Pr. UPU 2

Joking Relationships • Joking relationships occur between two persons in which one is by custom permitted and in some instances required to tease or make fun of the other. 3

EXAGGERATION & SURPRISE • Exaggeration and surprise are features that can be found in most jokes. • Bill Dana demonstrates that the same joke can be told with only the details and local color changing, and the rest of the joke remaining the same. 4

FIRST TELLING • A large group is assembled in an auditorium when from the loudspeaker comes the message: • “Will the person with New York license plate BL 74468459030623145098725, kindly remove it? Your license plate is blocking traffic. ” 5

SECOND TELLING • Two cowboys are talking and the first one explains that the name of his ranch is the “Bar Nine Circle Z Rocking O Flying W Lazy R Happy Two Flying Nun Ranch. ” • A second cowboy asks if he has many cattle, and the first cowboy responds, “Not many survive the branding. ” 6

THIRD TELLING • Two football players are talking and one of them begins describing a heroic run he made during the final game of the season. • “Nobody on the opposing team could tackle him…. 7

• Finally, “they brought a cannon out onto the field, and they shot me with the cannon, • and then airplanes came down with machine guns. They still couldn’t stop me. And I finally made a touchdown. • The other player indignantly interjects that “Anybody who was in the stadium could prove that was a lie. ” • The first player responded, “There were no survivors. ” 8

FAKE PLAY: PIANO JUGGLER: http: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=07 br. W 206 D 84 9

JOKE CYCLES • Very often jokes occur in joke cycles. Consider the following joke cycles. 10

ACRONYM JOKES • These jokes are often found on vanity license plates or bumper stickers: • 10 SNE 1 (tennis anyone? ) • XQUSME (excuse me) • 4 RGRAN (for our grandchild) • BS, MS, Ph. D (Bull Shit, More of the Same, Piled Higher and Deeper) 11

LIGHTBULB JOKES • How many New Yorkers? • 3: One to do it and two to criticize. • How many grad students? • 3: 2 plus a professor to take the credit • How many Jewish mothers? • None: I’ll just sit in the dark. 12

• How many Los Angeles Police? • 6: one to do it and five to smash the old bulb to smithereens. • How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? • 2: but they have to be really small. • How many Dolly clones? • As many as you’d like. 13

LIGHT BULB JOKE VARIATION: • What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? • You can unscrew the light bulb. 14

NEW DEFINITIONS • Artery: The study of painting • Bacteria: The back door of a cafeteria • Barium: What doctors do when patients die. 15

A Practical Joke 16

A practical joke is possible here, but in this clip everything is legitimate. NOTE: This one is legitimate; however there is another tennis-ball piano player who has the tune preprogramed into the keyboard, and all he has to do is hit the keyboard anyplace at the right time. TENNIS-BALL PIANO PLAYER: http: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=07 br. W 206 D 84 17

SNIGLETS • Rich Hall invented the term “sniglet” for a word that should be in the dictionary, but isn’t. • Elbonics (el bon’ iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater. 18

• Esso Asso (eso a’so): The person behind you in a right-hand turn lane who cuts through the Esso Station. • Pupkus (pup’kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it. • Phonesia (fo nee’ zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer. 19

TOM SWIFTIES • People who used to read the Tom Swift novels invented a new type of joke: • “My name is Tom, he said Swiftly. ” • This pattern is extended to: • “I’d like my egg boiled, ” she whispered softly. ” 20

• “Get to the back of the boat!” he shouted sternly. • “Would you like another pancake? ” she asked flippantly. • “She works in the mines, ” he roared ironically. 21

TOP TEN LIST • In 1993 when David Letterman left NBC to move to a better time slot at CBS, he made a list of his “Top 10 Things I Have To Do Before I Leave NBC. ” Here are some of the items on that list: • Drop off hairpiece at security desk. • Vacuum out Wendell (his announcer) and write down his mileage. 22

• Steal my weight in office supplies. • Let my plastic surgeon step out and take a bow—this has been his show as much as mine. • Get one more cheap laugh by saying the word Buttafuoco. 23

TRICK PLAY IN FOOTBALL: http: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=d. KE 9 SFCe 0 HU 24

VIRUS JOKES • AT&T Virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. • MCI Virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you’re paying too much for the AT&T virus. 25

• Paul Revere Virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack—once if by LAN, twice if by C: >. • New World Order Virus: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it. 26

EPIPHANY • What all jokes seem to have is an epiphany. So here is a joke that illustrates the nature of epiphany: • A man has been a customer in a particular restaurant for twenty years. He sits down to his regular dinner and immediately calls the waiter over to his table and demands that he “taste the soup. ” 27

• The waiter is most apologetic and says, “I’m sorry sir. What’s wrong? Here, let me get you another bowl. ” • “Taste the soup!” demands the irritated customer. 28

• Again the waiter apologizes and leans forward to whisk away the offending bowl. • “No!” demands the customer, who by now is irate: “Taste the soup. ” • The humbled waiter leans over to obey and asks in surprise, “Where’s the spoon? ” • “Ah ha!” cries the customer. 29

A Parody and A Parody of a Parody BUSH ON GLOBAL WARMING (BILL FERRELL TAKEOFF): http: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=j. Ojfx. Eej. S 2 Y&feature=related BUSH ON GLOBAL WARMING (KID TAKEOFF): http: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=BWdi. Htv 6 T 6 s 30