January 29 2015 Happy Friday Please pick up

January 29, 2015 Happy Friday! Please pick up the handout from the front table. Turn in your ODE to the tray. Take out a writing utensil (pencil) and put your devices away.

Friday- January 29, 2016 � Texas A&M Graduate Syllabus: � Writing is a struggle that aspiring graduate students often face in developing an academic identity. Thus, as you struggle with your writing, please remember that returned papers with comments are not a reflection of your abilities, intelligence or person. So the writing assignments for this class are intended to provide the opportunity to reflect on your writing and develop your research ideas. Therefore, it is hoped that feedback given to students is viewed as positive and part of the process of developing your academic identity. So please do not take personally the feedback you receive on assignments.

Expository Essay Objective: Evaluate your expository essay; analyze the rubric and feedback; revise/rewrite your essay to improve your score.

Rubric CSHS Rubric EOC �Designed to give you �Measures mastery of room to make mistakes without killing your grade. the concepts you have learned throughout the year. Ø All 4 s = 100 Ø 4 = excellent, very rare Ø All 3 s = 85 Ø 3 = passing, Ø All 2 s = 70 Ø 2 = failing, but close Ø All 1 s = 55 Ø 1 = failing, not close target score

General Notes �Some good essays that: �Discussed how actions should back up words. �Discussed that we should do what we say we will do. �Focused only on actions without ever contrasting those ideas with words. �Some essays that scored poorly because they: �Were completely off topic. �Were poorly written.

The Second Person Unacceptable: Better: �If you’re nice to �When people treat someone after you have been mean to them it can mean a lot more to them than you probably think. others poorly, showing that they are sorry through actions can be much more effective than saying they are sorry with words.

Informal Language Clichés: Colloquialisms: �People should always �Saying sorry to think before they speak. someone helps but actually showing someone you are sorry is way better. Idioms: �Christians are supposed to have a clean mouth. �Actions define character, because it’s easy to throw cheap words out there.

Absolutes Leaves NO ROOM for Exceptions: Leaves room for exceptions: �After someone has �People’s words been mean, it is always possible for them to fix it in the future. �Words are meaningless because only actions show the real truth. sometimes contradict their actions. �While words often fail to bring about change, actions are much harder to ignore.

Commands and Directives Ineffective: �You should make sure that your actions back up your words. �People should remember that actions are more powerful than words. �Don’t let your words speak more than your actions. In each of these cases, the writer is telling the reader what he should or should not do. This is not a persuasive essay. The goal is not to convince your audience to do something.

Introductions Ineffective: �Have you ever tried to put yourself into a deaf person’s shoes? They have to use actions to speak. Actions speak louder than words when you are trying to make up for a mistake. Second person (you) Rhetorical question was not one of the introduction styles taught. The bridge does not provide any connection to thesis statement. The entire introduction mentions nothing about making mistakes…why did we start out talking about people who are deaf?

Introductions Effective: Hook effectively introduces a meaningful, relevant quote. Effective bridge that connects the idea of bearing fruit to an achievement (the central focus of thesis statement). Clear and specific thesis that shows how actions can be more powerful than words. Jesus Christ once stated, “By their fruits ye shall know them. ” Usually people do not judge a tree by its leaves, bark, or flowers but by the fruit which it bears. It is the action of bearing fruit that is the true achievement of the tree. People can achieve great things by their actions rather than

Quote Introductions Ineffective: Effective: �“I am not imposed �Novelist George Eliot upon by fine words; I can see what actions mean” –George Eliot �“Thoughts do more. Words do much. Actions do much more, ” according to Israelmore Ayivor. once wrote, “I am not imposed upon by fine words; I can see what actions mean. ” �According to Israelmore Ayivor, “Thoughts do more. Words to much. Actions do much

Thesis Statements Ineffective: Effective: �Actions prove words �When attempting to right or wrong. �People often learn from past mistakes and change how they act towards the future. make up for past mistakes, actions can be more powerful than words. �Actions can be more powerful than words when people are trying to make a difference.

Thesis Statements Effective: �When attempting to A clear, provable response to the HOW part of the prompt. make up for past mistakes, actions can be more powerful than words. Uses wording from the prompt. �Actions can be more powerful than words when people are trying to make a difference.

Concrete Details Vague: Specific: �People can say one �My brother always thing and act on it or do something else. says that he is going to pick me up on time, but every day, he is late to the school.

Concrete Details Vague: Specific: � Making positive and �Rosa Parks inspired negative actions can result in a bad or good way. In a negative way, if someone is mad at another, they could let out all their emotions and possibly hit someone. In a positive way, one could give someone a hug, or walk them home from school if they were having a bad day. many as she quietly sat on the bus and endured harsh words thrown at her. Her act was a pivotal point toward ending segregation in America, and she taught a valuable lesson without saying a word.

Concrete Details Focus on WORDS: Focus on ACTION: �During his time, Martin �Although Martin Luther King, Jr. spoke to many crowds about the need for change in the way African Americans are treated. This action served to inspire many people to demand fair treatment and eventually ended segregation with the King, Jr. , was known for his words, it was his actions that made the biggest impact on the people that he inspired. By leading peaceful protests, sit-ins, marches and, even serving jail time, King’s actions became much more powerful than his

Sentence Variety Repetitive Syntax: �The girl was outside and a man got out of a truck. The girl ran into the barn and the man, clearly very angry, followed her. The girl had been abused by this man and she was cornered. Each sentence starts with “The girl” followed by a verb. All three sentences are compound and joined by the conjunction “and”…the appropriate FANBOYS comma is missing.

Sentence Variety Diverse Syntax: � Rosa Parks was a relatively quiet woman; however, her actions changed the world. While sitting on a bus, she refused to move for a white man. This simple action was more powerful than any words could have been, and because of this, Parks became an icon

Sentence Variety Diverse Syntax: Sentence 1: A medium-length, compound sentence joined with a semicolon Sentence 2: A somewhat short sentence with an introductory phrase and comma before the main clause Sentence 3: A longer Compound-Complex sentence with two independent clauses and one dependent clause � Rosa Parks was a relatively quiet woman; however, her actions changed the world. While sitting on a bus, she refused to move for a white man. This simple action was more powerful than any words could have been, and because of this, Parks became an icon

Concluding Statements Ineffective: Effective: �So next time you get � Words can be effective; in a disagreement, remember your actions will be heard way sooner than your words. �Furthermore, many people can talk all they want, but it only matters if they act on however, when a person is attempting to change the world, actions are much more powerful. � Although we often rely on words to express ourselves, actions can be much more powerful than words when trying

Improve Your Grade Reflect Revise 1. Explain why you 1. Review and earned the score that you earned. 2. Discuss one thing you did well. 3. Discuss three things you could improve. consider my feedback. 2. Go back through the checklist. 3. Re-write your essay to improve your score.