Jane Schaffer Writing for Beginners White River High

Jane Schaffer Writing for Beginners White River High School English Department Presentation 3/28/08

The Prompt Before writing anything a student must know the assignment - clearly read the PROMPT. Typical prompts ask students to… 4 Respond to Literature 4 Discuss what was learned in relation to a specific topic - expository 4 Persuade - Convince a reader to believe/support a certain way of thinking

Get Ready to Color Your World! THE BUILDING BLOCK OF WRITING How to write an effective paragraph Materials: When we write using the Schaffer model we use blue, black, red and green pens. Blue is for Topic Sentences (TS) Red is for Concrete Details (CD) Green is for Commentary Sentences (CM) Black is for Concluding Sentences (CS)

Step 1 - The Topic Sentence (TS) is the top bun of the hamburger 4 The topic sentence is the first sentence of the paragraph. 4 It proclaims the main idea and contains an opinion. Usually a mildly controversial statement- something that you have to prove. It can be as brief as three words.

Example Topic Sentence TS In the fairy tale “The Three Little Pigs, ” the third pig was very wise.

Step 2 - Concrete Details (CD) are the meat of the hamburger 4 CDs = Support for your TS. (facts, quotes, statistics, examples, paraphrases etc. from the text or research. 4 CDs can’t be argued with - a CD is evidence that supports your point 4 CDs can be direct quotes or paraphrased information 4 CDs include the “stuff from the story, reading, article, etc. ”

Example Concrete Detail (CD) For example, he remembered his mother’s warning about a wolf, and built his house out of sturdy brick.

Step 3: Commentary Sentences (CM) are the hamburger’s “extras” - the tomato, cheese, lettuce, pickle - they make it delicious! CMs = your analysis, interpretation, inferences, opinion, explanation or insight. CMs = the “so what? ” CMs = the stuff from your head

Example Commentary Sentences (2 CMs) The frustrated wolf gave up extremely easily after a half-hearted attempt to blow down the sturdy and intimidating brick house. This shows that the third pig was much more intelligent than his brothers, who were devoured by the wolf.

Step 4: Concluding Sentence A Concluding Sentence (CS) is the bottom bun of the hamburger A CS wraps up the paragraph. It brings the reader back to the original topic without repeating the same words or summarizing.

Example Concluding Sentence (CS) The third pig of the legendary fable outsmarts not only his brothers but the “big, bad” wolf as well.

Putting it all together! In the fairy tale “The Three Little Pigs, ” the third pig was very wise. For example, he remembered his mother’s warning about a wolf and built his house out of sturdy brick. The frustrated wolf gave up extremely easily after a halfhearted attempt to blow down the sturdy and intimidating brick house. This shows that the third pig was much more intelligent than his brothers, who were devoured by the wolf. The third pig of the legendary fable outsmarts not only his brothers but the “big bad” wolf as well.

That was a one chunk paragraph! What is a chunk? A combination of CDs and CMs is called a chunk. A chunk is made up of 3 sentences. In the sample we created the stuff “between the buns” makes up the chunk. It includes the meat (red) and the extras (green).

A chunk can include different ratios of CD to CM depending on the mode of writing The ratio is the amount of CD: CM in a body paragraph. 4 The typical English class ratio is 1: 2 for response to literature and 2: 1 for persuasive or expository writing. 4 A typical history ratio might be 2: 1 4 A typical Math/Science ratio is 3: 0 or 2: 1

ENGLISH DEPARTMENT RUBRIC FOR 1 CHUNK PARAGRAPH WITH A 1: 2 RATIO - SCORE OF 4 (located on share drive)

As Student Writing becomes more sophisticated what happens? 4 Students move from a one chunk to a two chunk paragraph 4 Students begin weaving

What is a two chunk paragraph? A two chunk paragraph is an extension of the one chunk paragraph. The student simply adds another burger and more condiments. It looks like this… TS CD CM CM CS Chunk #1 Chunk #2

ENGLISH DEPARTMENT RUBRIC FOR 2 CHUNK PARAGRAPH WITH A 1: 2 RATIO - SCORE OF 4 (located on share drive)

But isn’t this all a little formulaic? 4 Yes, it is very formulaic. It provides students the framework for communicating their thoughts through writing. For many students this is a necessity. 4 The reason we selected Jane Schaffer is that the ultimate goal of the writing program is to move students who have mastered the formula toward a more sophisticated style called weaving.

What is Weaving? Weaving is the goal of all writers. It describes the ability to weave together CDs and CMs while effectively communicating ideas through writing. Writers that effectively weave are aware of expected ratios/balance AND can seamlessly put them together in their writing. As a teacher it is important that you recognize students who effectively weave and allow them to do so.

Are our students weaving? Some are…. most aren’t. Why? 4 Many of our 9 th students haven’t received specific feedback about their writing (via rubric etc. ) 4 Many of our 9 th and 10 th grade students are very good at summarizing CD, but STRUGGLE with CM 4 Teachers have different expectations which is a source of frustration for students - we don’t speak the same language. 4 Students have trouble with organization - their writing wanders. We ask them to master the structure before allowing them to leave it. 4 Students who are weaving should know it! You can ask them, in English class are you weaving?