Is Pornography in the church 1 What is

Is Pornography in the church?

1. What is pornography? 2. Is Pornography in the church? 3. Lets talk stats! 4. How Is This Affecting the Body of Christ? 5. Five Stages of Addiction 6. Symptoms and consequences of porn addiction 7. How does watching porn affect our adolescence? 8. Lets talk about it 9. How to break porn addiction 10. Resources

Pornography ‘Its printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity intended to stimulate sexual excitement” Example, playboy magazines, photos, films, videos, music videos . What's your definition of pornography? ?

Pornography in the Church Dr Steve Arterburn, founder of New Life Ministries, believes porn is the greatest threat facing Christians Today. Why is this a threat to the church? • Porn always gets worse: When a person gets involved in pornography, the more likely they are to move into a genre they used to think was detestable or perverse(Against morals and beliefs). This often leads to degrading expectations from partner/spouse/future spouse. It often leads to sexual violence. • Porn Prevents Sanctification: When a person is addicted to porn, they feel so much shame and they loose the desire to be sanctified. • Porn Kills intimacy: Pornography destroys intimacy with God, a spouse and others.

Lets talk Stats! Christian Churches: Pornography Statistics • 51% of pastors say cyber-pornography is a possible temptation, 37% say it is a current struggle. (Christianity Today, Leadership Survey, ) • Over half of evangelical pastors admit viewing pornography last year. • 20% of the calls received on the Pastoral Care Line are for help with issues such as pornography and compulsive sexual behaviour. • 33% of clergy admitted to having visited a sexually explicit Web site. Of those who had visited a pornography site, 53% had visited such sites “a few times "in the past year, and 18% visit sexually explicit sites between a couple of times a month and more than once a week. • 57% of pastors say that addiction to pornography is the most sexually damaging issue to their congregation. (Christians and Sex Leadership Journal Survey, March 2005)

According to statistics from global online pornography provider Pornhub, (Largest porn Hub) South Africans spent 10 minutes 35 seconds per visit on the porn platform, more than the global average of eight minutes, 56 seconds, said Pornhub. (South Africans spend more time viewing porn than the rest of the world) • Gauteng (55%) • Western Cape (26%) • Kwa. Zulu-Natal (12%).

Pornography are in our homes. February 2011, Microsoft Corporation released the results of an survey conducted in the UK, Ireland, Spain, Finland, South Africa, Italy, Portugal, Turkey, Russia, Greece, and Egypt: • 64% of parents do not use online parental controls or filtering software. • 69% of parents say they take steps to ensure their children don’t stumble on any adult-related sites they have personally visited. • 67% of teens have cleared out their browser history or cache to make sure their parents couldn’t view their online activity. • 31% do this “always” or “regularly. ” • 39% of teens admit to looking at websites or playing online games that their parents would likely disapprove of. • 44% of teens have lied about their age when online. According to a 2011 survey: • 42% of teens surveyed admitted they have cleared their browsing history after using the Internet. • 31% of teen boys admitted to visiting adult websites, and 13% said they did so “often. ” • In 2012, 44% of teens surveyed admitted they have looked at something online of which their parents would not approve. Of these, 81% said this happened at home, and 48% said it has happened at home when their parents were home.

Should the church talk about pornography? How Is This Affecting the Body of Christ? In spite of the soothsayers who minimize the damage being done, pornography is a spiritual disease racing through the Christian community. In short, we show all the signs of suffering from a spiritual epidemic. If it is true that one out of every five men sitting in church`s pews is saturating his mind with the images of pornography, how does this effect the overall level of godliness in the Church? It seems that the general urgency to live a consecrated life is at an all-time low. Self-centered living seems to have replaced true sacrificial love. A hunger for God has been exchanged for a lust for entertainment. While the Church is experiencing a fierce spiritual destructive attack from without, the godly character needed for this battle rots within. (1 John 2: 16). Pornography definitely causes us to lust after flesh, and it is undeniably a lust of the eyes. Pornography definitely does not qualify as one of the things we are to think about, according to Philippians 4: 8. Pornography is addictive (1 Corinthians 6: 12; 2 Peter 2: 19), and destructive (Proverbs 6: 25 -28; Ezekiel 20: 30; Ephesians 4: 19). Lusting after other people in our minds, which is the essence of pornography, is offensive to God (Matthew 5: 28).

• 1 John 2: 16 New International Version (NIV) 16 For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. • Philippians 4: 8 New International Version (NIV) 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. • Corinthians 6: 12 New International Version (NIV) Sexual Immorality 12 “I have the right to do anything, ” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. • 2 Peter 2: 19 New International Version (NIV) 19 They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity—for “people are slaves to whatever has mastered them. ” • Proverbs 6: 25 -28 New International Version (NIV) 25 Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes. 26 For a prostitute can be had for a loaf of bread, but another man’s wife preys on your very life. 27 Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? 28 Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched?

• Ezekiel 20: 30 New International Version (NIV) Rebellious Israel Renewed 30 “Therefore say to the Israelites: ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Will you defile yourselves the way your ancestors did and lust after their vile images? • Ephesians 4: 19 New International Version (NIV) 19 Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed. • Matthew 5: 28 New International Version (NIV) 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Five Stages of Addiction • Early exposure. most children (most common in boys)who get addicted to porn start early. They see the stuff when they are very young, and it causes curiosity and opens a door. • Addiction. Later comes addiction. You keep coming back to porn. It becomes a regular part of your life. You're hooked. You can't quit. • Escalation. After a while, escalation begins. You start to look for more and more graphic porn. You start using porn that would have disgusted you when you started. Now it excites you. • Desensitization. Eventually, you start to become numb. Even the most graphic, degrading porn doesn't excite you anymore. You become desperate to feel the same thrill again but can't find it. • Acting out sexually. At this point, many men/female make a dangerous jump and start acting out sexually. They move from the paper and plastic images of porn to the real world.

Signs and symptoms of porn addiction include: Obsession with pornographic materials (including internet porn) Increasing focus on viewing pornographic material Decreasing time spent doing other activities Decreasing time spent with others Increasing time spent using pornography in self satisfying sexual behaviours(Excessive masturbation) Decreasing time spent attending to personal responsibilities and relationships Increased risk of unprotected sexual encounters(Acting out sexual behaviours) Use of drugs or alcohol to heighten sexual experiences • • • • Consequences of porn addiction include: Intimate relationships are severely damaged or end Increased sense of self shame and guilt Interference with work or school productivity including loss of career Financial insecurity/Risks Greater risk of dissolution of marriage Increased risk of sexually transmitted diseases (Hepatitis C, HIV/AIDS, etc. )

Affects on brain • Porn can change your brain. During Viewing it releases dopamine and causes a similar reaction to your brain as drug use. • Chemicals such as oxytocin, can cause one to bond with fantasy and reject reality. • Your Frontal Lobe Is responsible for decision making and during addiction, this part of the brain is most affected. Do you think porn is addictive?

Here are the ways pornography affects teenagers’ brains. 1. The Hormone Dopamine This hormone is responsible for memory, attention, mood, and pleasure, which is activated whenever a person feels good. Pornography always brings excitement as it satisfies a person’s sexual urges. So when a teenager watches it too often, more dopamine is increased, which can be addictive. Their brain will unconsciously activate dopamine to the point where their body will eventually depend on it. As a result, addiction to pornography is likely to occur, destroying the teenager’s way of life. 2. Memory Effect Aside from developing an addiction, a teenager’s memory will also be affected. A short-term memory from a pornographic act moves to long-term memory. It affects the teenager’s way of thinking in such a way that he or she will consistently look for the same kind of experience from others. This can be devastating in the long run. 3. Changing Perceived Pleasure The repeated act of watching porn may change a teenager’s perception of pleasure. This is called a “chemical bath. ” In this condition, the brain will be unable to process the chemicals it needs at a certain level. The constant surge to bring pleasure disrupts the normal action of the central nervous system wherein pleasure is reduced so that a simple sexual act is no longer satisfying. 4. Cause of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) is defined as a psychological condition where a person quickly reacts on impulse, affecting the attention span. An addicted teenager may continue searching for new ways to satisfy his sexual urges, and so this search may lead to websites that he or she should not visit. For example, a teenager sees himself as a conservative but he may be stumbling upon websites that are degrading or violent. With that, a teenager’s attention is disrupted as he or she keeps on looking for satisfaction instead of focusing on more ordinary, everyday things.

If we don’t teach our kids, the world will. So lets get the conversation started. Remember that each child is different. You’ll need to adjust your tone and your attitude based on your child’s developmental stage and your own personal belief system. • Regardless of your approach, leave shame out of the discussion - If your child feels ashamed of his or her own curiosity and drives, then you are very unlikely to hear from your child when there’s real trouble. • If you are comfortable with the discussion, approach the issue before it’s an issue. • Set God’s standard for sex. -God made sex for marriage only between one man and one woman. It’s nothing to be ashamed of; the Lord addresses it candidly throughout the Bible. Anything outside of marital sex is sin, can destroy your child’s life when he grows up, and will hurt those he loves. Discuss this plainly with him/her. • Maintain a kind, compassionate tone. • Remember the goal -Which is to help, guide, and walk with your kids in their journey through adolescence. Many children will be confused and terrified of what your response might be. Think of how you’d want your parents to react if you got caught viewing porn, and how a grace-cantered approach would help.

• Focus on listening. -Start by asking questions. Calmly ask how they were first exposed to porn and how long it’s been going on. Ask how it makes them feel… especially if there’s shame afterwards. • Without going into lecture-mode, remind them of the truth of God’s plan for sex. -You might point out that the actors and actresses in porn hate what they’re doing and many of them are drunk or on drugs when they’re “acting. ” Help your child to see the lie behind the fantasy and discuss the fact that sin never satisfies. • Put them at ease. -Re-emphasize your love for them. If they’ve been viewing porn for an extended period of time, help them to understand that Jesus died for and will forgive them; the slate will be wiped clean, along with all the guilt and shame. • Pray with them. • Make an action plan with them. -Ask your child for suggestions for an action plan so they can resist temptation in the future. This will help them take ownership for their actions and give them a sense of working with you, Remember: It’s very likely your adolescent will not want to have an in-depth discussion with you. That’s fine; he or she will still think about what you said.

How to break porn addiction • You need to want to quit watching porn. The first part to quitting porn is you really have to want to quit porn. You need to be sick and tired of porn and the sickness that it causes you in order to quit. If you are not committed, you will only be quitting until the next time you look. Deep inside you have to want to stop. • You have to be willing to try a different way. Secondly, you have to be willing to do things you haven’t done before. Seriously, if you keep quitting the same way, you’re likely to fail again. To quit, you have to give up what you’ve been doing and do what you have to do. • You need to be brutally honest with another person. Thirdly, you have to tell someone else about your struggle and desire to get free. This person may be a friend, your spouse/partner, a person of clergy, a life coach, or a twelve step group person. Somebody has to know the truth about your porn usage for you to get and stay free. • You need to get rid of all your porn. You have to get rid of the porn you have. Throw away the discs, magazines, anything you have used as pornography, and make sure to dump and clean out your computer. This is just a start, some you have to clean house regularly.

• You also need to block porn from coming in. The next step is you have to block entry points. This means have a porn blocker and accountability software like Covenant Eyes on your phone, computer at home, and at the office. If you have people sending you compromising e-mails, block them. Unsubscribe from porn websites. You may have to decide if credit cards are a problem. You know how porn is coming into your life. . • Finally, get accountable to someone on a daily basis about your porn usage. Make a call a day and a commitment to call this person before you even consider looking at porn. People who set consequences for porn relapse do better. If you look at porn, set a consequence. • A porn-free life is a better life. You have to decide that you are worth living porn free. .

Resources that can help Websites False Love: Overcoming Sexual Sin from Pornography to Adultery is a seminar series by Brad Hambrick that opens doors to recovery - www. bradhambrick. com/falselove NANC-certified counsellors has a site that can help an individual find a counsellor by zip code and by country. - www. nanc. org/Find-a-Counselor RECLAi. M Sexual Health is an anonymous, online recovery program that helps struggling individuals break free from pornography addiction and other unwanted sexual behaviours - reclaimsexualhealth. com Books Clean, A Proven Plan for Men Committed to Sexual Integrity. By Dr. Doug Weiss. 2013 Thomas Nelson. Closing the Window: Steps to Living Porn Free. By Tim Chester. 2010 IVP Books. Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction. By Dr. Mark Laaser. 2004 Zondervan. Sampson and the Pirate Monks. By Nate Larkin. 2007 W Publishing Group. Counselling Comfort Christian Counselling specializes in therapy for sex addiction, offering couples three-day intensive counselling and other resources – comfortchristiancounseling. com Heart to Heart Counselling Centre, Dr. Doug Weiss, offers telephone counselling, three-day intensive programs, and other resources - www. sexaddict. com Faithful and True provides intensive workshops, counselling, education and a variety of other resources. www. faithfulandtrue. com

PURELIFE Ministries provides a long list of resources, including at-home and live-in counselling intensive programs - www. purelifeministries. org Transformed Hearts Counselling Centre offers mental health counselling services and resources for individuals, couples, and families. The centre specializes in intimacy issues and healing from sexual addiction - www. transformedhearts. com Remove the Internet Secrecy: Decrease the Temptation : Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability monitors all the websites you visit and flags them for their maturity level. Then, each week, a detailed and easy-to-read report is automatically e-mailed to someone you trust: a friend, counsellor, spouse, or whoever else you want. how video This makes you think twice about where you go online. It gives you discipline to pause and think about how your actions impact your life and the lives of others. Making good decisions online provides repeated practice so that good decisions are easier to make offline as well. These Internet reports also allow you to have specific and informed conversations with others about how you use the Internet, drawing others around you to help you meet your goals. Covenant Eyes also has an optional Internet Filter for those who want to simply block websites from appearing. Sign up For Internet Accountability and Filtering at www. covenanteyes. com

Refrences • www. covenanteyes. com • www. archkck. org • dare to dig deeper booklet”toxic porn”by Gene Mc Connell and Keith Campbell