INTIMACY BUILDING MARRIAGE THROUGH DEEPENING INTIMACY PART TWO

REMINDERS • Not Therapy • The path of halacha is broad • Ask your own rov • your rov answers for you, not for others

SHIVIM PANIM L’TORAH

P’NIM ● ● Daat – Connect Bris ● ● Mila, priah, mitzitza Emulating Hashem ● י– ה–ו–ה ● Oneness, giving, pleasure of connection ● The letter ו ● Yesod

GOALS • • Connect deeply Create intimacy Give meaningfully Create the pleasure of connection Bring new life into the world • Relationship, person • (Emulate Hashem)

REMOVE IMPEDIMENTS FROM GOALS

ASKING

NO PART LEFT BEHIND • Emotional • Physical • Spiritual • Intellectual

EXPECTATIONS Human Sexual Response Cycle • Excitement phase • Plateau phase • Orgasmic phase • Resolution phase

CREATE DEVEK

KOACH HADIBBUR Language describes and shapes Sex Intercourse Intimacy Duty/obligation Performance (anxiety) Relationship

COMMON CHALLENGES • Expectations • Hormones • Exhaustion • Communication issues • Shyness • Embarrassment • Desire or lack there of • Aging

DESIRE • Sexual desire • The desire to have sex • Poteach et yadecha u’masbia l’chol chai ratzon

PREPARATION • Shabbat and Intimacy 1. Clear schedule: Set aside the time 2. Procure supplies: Whatever you don’t have that you will need or want to make the experience how you want it to be 3. Prepare environment: clean, pretty, inviting 4. Create mood: flowers, candles, wine, words

PRIORITIZE • Mitvat onah • It’s a mitzvah! • • • Time Money Effort Thought Planning

INTIMACY • Separate from sexuality Love languages (Gary Chapman) • Acts of service • Physical touch • Words of appreciation • Gifts • Quality time • http: //www. 5 lovelanguages. com/resources/books/

HITCHADSHUT • Our first mitzvah as a nation • Shemot 12: 2