Interpersonal Communication a presentation by Sally A Bishai

Interpersonal Communication (a presentation by Sally A. Bishai, Ph. D. )

What ARE Interpersonal Relationships, Anyway? 2+ peeps Dyadic Interdependent Consistent Over time

Importance of IR: 3 Needs (Schutz, 1976) Inclusion & involvement Affection & tenderness Control & influencing stuff

Two Types of Interpersonal Relationships Complementary Math + English=The Perfect Person (? !) Symmetrical Math gurus all!

Self-Disclosure + Uncle Johari I. Open (you and me) II. Blind (I am) III. Hidden (skeletons in my closet? ) IV. Unknown (you and me)

Why Begin a Relationship, Then? Proximity Neighbour, co-worker Attractiveness Wow, what a babe! Responsiveness Yay, they like me! Similarity We both love RPGS, goody! Complementarity I’ll help you with your term paper if you do my algebra. . !

Things are Hunky Dory…Right? Motivations for TERMINATING relationships (boo hoo): Hurtful (and BEASTLY) messages Deception (liar, pants on fire…) Aggressiveness (me: shoe, you: doormat) Argumentativeness (“beyetkhani 2 ma 3 debban weshhoo!”) Defensiveness (imagine a cornered beast) That would be the DENOTATIVE meaning of “beast”

Personal Idioms A “culture of two” Unique nicknames Unique language Come up with THREE of these that you’ve seen, heard, and/or imagined!

Androgyny Rocks (? !) Is when a person has (or uses) elements of the MALE and the FEMALE Can result in the MOST SUCCESSFUL relationships (if you’re androgynous, I mean)

Intercultural Communication another presentation by Sally A. Bishai, Ph. D.

Activity: Culture Shock. ED Think of a time when you found yourself in an unfamiliar situation, such as a new: Job Relationship Educational situation Country (long-term) Briefly analyse that time in your life and: Identify the differences between previous situations and the one in question; Explain what the biggest conflicts seemed to be; Briefly describe HOW the conflict was resolved (if it was).

What is Culture, then? Is there a “culture of brunettes” ? Do Gamers have their own culture? Do Mothers, dog-owners, tennis-players have their own cultures? CULTURE vs. CO-CULTURE

Goals of Co-Cultural Communication Assimilation Goal “Hmm, what can I do to fit in with ‘them’? ” Accommodation “My culture rocks, but ‘they’ have a right to their own culture, too! We can all get along, right? ” Separation Goal “Begone, you hellish beasts! We ain’t talking to anyone outside of our group!”

IC Problems Ethnocentrism Mini-skirts Tents Cultural (neqab) Relativism Saddam Hussein? Yanomamo Indians

More IC Problems (or are they? ) Stereotyping All _____s are good at ______ Prejudice Someone “just like me” Discrimination Tomatoes, oranges, and “gourmet” food

Additional Barriers (BONUS) General Problem Specific Obstructions Communication Don’t know what they’re saying at all (language) Don’t know what they mean (jargon, regionalisms) Offense Making a gesture that’s OK back home, but vulgar here Making an overture (or joke) that’s “out of line” here Failing to follow a ritual or convention of theirs “Legality” Fear of doing something illegal (unwittingly) Possibility of not doing something required Isolation Fear of making mistakes (language) Apprehension of drawing laughs (at mistakes) Worry over offending people

Cultural Orientation (Hofstede, 1980) Individualism –“Me” mentality –“What’s best for me” –Independence –Adults don’t generally need approval –Clarity valued –Context, back-story, details = clinginess (“TMI”) + fluff –“No dice. ” Collectivism –“We” mentality –Common good –Interdependence –You’re not an adult if you’re not married! –Ambiguity treasured –Context, back-story, details = helpful + inclusive –Exceptions, “case-by-case, ” + personal appeals

Chronemics (Hall, 1959, 1983) Monochronic “One thing at a time. ” Time is compartmentalised Late = bad Work wrules! “To-Do List” mentality Stress = not completing tasks “Focused” Polychronic Multitasking Time is fluid “I’ll get there when I get there. ” Relationships rock! ADHD mentality Stress over offending someone “Distractible”

Communication Context (Hall, 1976; Hofstede, 1980) Low-Context High-Context Depends on what is SAID Take words at “face value, ” for the words said are the only things that count –Depends on a shared code –The code often seems “arbitrary” Work backward, however, and you might get it! –Nonverbals often count –Seemingly-tiny details might be the key Words trump demeanour –Those “not in the know” might suspect HC communicators of: Paranoia (“I’ll bet the other person didn’t even notice!”) Obsession (“Give it a rest, already!”) Psychosis (“That doesn’t make sense…illogical much? !”)

Directness + Indirectness Direct Emphasis = clarity and being understood “Taking the bull by the horns” No deduction needed, coz they said it! Indirect Emphasis = saving face of everyone involved “Dancing around the issue” Can be deduced by hints in the message

They Think WHAT? ! Direct think that Indirect are: Evasive Dishonest Wishy-washy Indecisive Increase tension by hiding from the issue Indirect think that Direct are: Insensitive Tactless Boorish Harsh Increase tension by dealing too directly with the issue at hand