Integrating Evidence and Commentary EVIDENCE Specific details facts

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Integrating Evidence and Commentary

Integrating Evidence and Commentary

EVIDENCE Specific details (facts and opinions from sources, other than you) Can be quoted

EVIDENCE Specific details (facts and opinions from sources, other than you) Can be quoted or paraphrased NOT your own thoughts/ideas

Leading-in & Integrating Evidence A quote should NEVER be placed in a sentence without

Leading-in & Integrating Evidence A quote should NEVER be placed in a sentence without a lead-in. Also, even paraphrased information needs a lead-in. Make smooth transitions from your own words to those of another source. Do NOT simply drop a quote into a paragraph. Make it part of your sentence.

Bad Example: Dumped Evidence Topic: Rubik’s Cube History/Origin Rubik’s Cube has a fairly short

Bad Example: Dumped Evidence Topic: Rubik’s Cube History/Origin Rubik’s Cube has a fairly short yet interesting history. “The Rubik’s Cube is the brainchild of Hungarian designer Erno Rubik, who patented [the cube] in 1974” (Kennedy 23). * This quote is from a Sports Illustrated article titled “The Cube’s Big Comeback” by K. Kennedy. The article appears on p. 23.

Let’s fix it! Rubik’s Cube has a fairly short yet interesting history. A Sports

Let’s fix it! Rubik’s Cube has a fairly short yet interesting history. A Sports Illustrated writer, who notes a recent spike in the cube’s popularity, writes that this puzzle toy “is the brainchild of Hungarian designer Erno Rubik, who patented [the cube] in 1974” (Kennedy 23).

BAD Example Topic: Wildlife Rehabilitation-Interesting information/facts People with good intentions sometimes find the need

BAD Example Topic: Wildlife Rehabilitation-Interesting information/facts People with good intentions sometimes find the need to help animals in the wild, even when they are not in danger. “Animals brought into human care end up missing out on learning experiences needed to survive in the wild” (“What To Do”). *This quote is from an article titled “What to do if you find young wildlife” on the Mass Wildlife website, an animal rehabilitation site.

Evidence: People with good intentions sometimes find the need to help animals in the

Evidence: People with good intentions sometimes find the need to help animals in the wild, even when they are not in danger. “Animals brought into human care end up missing out on learning experiences needed to survive in the wild” (“What To Do”).

Let’s fix it! People with good intentions sometimes find the need to help animals

Let’s fix it! People with good intentions sometimes find the need to help animals in the wild, even when they are not in danger. Mass Wildlife, an animal rehabilitation website, notes that the harm in human interaction with wild animals is that the animals “end up missing out on learning experiences needed to survive in the wild” (“What To Do”).

Examples(Author) Citing the source in the lead in: • Wordsworth stated that Romantic poetry

Examples(Author) Citing the source in the lead in: • Wordsworth stated that Romantic poetry was marked by a “spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings” (263). Citing the source in the in-text citation • Romantic poetry is characterized by the “spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings” (Wordsworth 263). Citing the source in a paraphrase • Wordsworth extensively explored the role of emotion in the creative process (263). Works Cited listing: • Wordsworth, William. Lyrical Ballads. Oxford UP, 1967.

Commentary what comes after evidence or supporting details in your writing (thoughtful, interesting comments)

Commentary what comes after evidence or supporting details in your writing (thoughtful, interesting comments) YOUR thoughts/comments, NOT additional info from a source

What does commentary do? Answers how and why How does the evidence connect to

What does commentary do? Answers how and why How does the evidence connect to the topic sentence? Why was this evidence used to support the topic sentence? (What makes it a good choice of evidence? ) It explores the relevancy and significance of the evidence.

How much commentary should there be? The standard rule is at least 2 sentences

How much commentary should there be? The standard rule is at least 2 sentences per one piece of evidence. For a really good essay/report – 80% of your essay should be your own ideas/words (i. e. commentary) Evidence should be brief; the explanation of the importance of the evidence should be long.

Three Types of Commentary: Elaboration Explanation of evidence Evaluation Topic Sentence: There are many

Three Types of Commentary: Elaboration Explanation of evidence Evaluation Topic Sentence: There are many interesting facts about steroids and the danger they pose.

Elaboration More details about the evidence. Example: One doctor says that “steroids cause the

Elaboration More details about the evidence. Example: One doctor says that “steroids cause the masculinization of women” (Wadler). The process of masculinization can manifest itself in the loss of a woman’s period and fertility problems in the future. Besides causing serious damage to her own body, pumping herself with testosterone might have an adverse effect on her children if she gets pregnant. It might cause birth defects.

Explanation Explaining what is important about the evidence and/or rephrasing the evidence for better

Explanation Explaining what is important about the evidence and/or rephrasing the evidence for better clarity. Example: One doctor says that “steroids cause masculinization of women” (Wadler). Women become more like men, growing moustaches and not having their periods. In other words, steroids can make a woman look and feel less biologically feminine.

Evaluation Passing judgement on the evidence (no I) Example: One doctor says that “steroids

Evaluation Passing judgement on the evidence (no I) Example: One doctor says that “steroids cause masculinization of women” (Wadler). This is a major sacrifice for women that they should consider seriously. While the idea of “masculinization” of the body may not sound like enough to stop some women, the fact that it can cause permanent damage should be enough to sway women from using steroids.

Combination of TWO Example: One doctor says that “steroids cause masculinization of women” (Wadler).

Combination of TWO Example: One doctor says that “steroids cause masculinization of women” (Wadler). Women become more like men, growing moustaches and not having their periods. In other words, steroids can make a woman look and feel less biologically feminine. Moreover, they can cause damage to the woman’s body and that of her future children, and this fact should be enough to sway women from using steroids.

Remember our Evidence? Rubik’s Cube has a fairly short yet interesting history. A Sports

Remember our Evidence? Rubik’s Cube has a fairly short yet interesting history. A Sports Illustrated writer, who notes a recent spike in the cube’s popularity, writes that this puzzle toy “is the brainchild of Hungarian designer Erno Rubik, who patented [the cube] in 1974” (Kennedy 23).

Let’s add some COMMENTARY! Rubik’s Cube has a fairly short yet interesting history. A

Let’s add some COMMENTARY! Rubik’s Cube has a fairly short yet interesting history. A Sports Illustrated writer, who notes a recent spike in the cube’s popularity, writes that this puzzle toy “is the brainchild of Hungarian designer Erno Rubik, who patented [the cube] in 1974” (Kennedy 23). While some inventions may be a century old, the Rubik’s Cube is less than fifty years old. Erno Rubik may not have even imagined such success after only a few years when he first thought of the cube.

What is not commentary? A sentence that just restates the evidence Example of non-commentary:

What is not commentary? A sentence that just restates the evidence Example of non-commentary: Ryan writes about a teenager who committed suicide. She says “there [is] no conclusive evidence of a connection” between steroids and suicide. This quote is saying that there is no evidence that steroids and suicide are connected.

What is not commentary? A repetition of the topic sentence idea Topic sentence: There

What is not commentary? A repetition of the topic sentence idea Topic sentence: There are many interesting facts about steroids and the danger they pose. Example of non-commentary: One doctor says “steroids cause masculinization of women” (Wadler). This is a very interesting fact because steroids are obviously dangerous.

What type of COMMENTARY? People with good intentions sometimes find the need to help

What type of COMMENTARY? People with good intentions sometimes find the need to help animals in the wild, even when they are not in danger. Mass Wildlife, an animal rehabilitation website, notes that the harm in human interaction with wild animals is that the animals “end up missing out on learning experiences needed to survive in the wild” (“What To Do”). When an animal does not learn how to survive in the wild, not only can they die from starvation, or the attack from other animals, but they will also continue to pursue people without fear when freed. The potential dangers of this may include the animal wondering in populated areas, walking into a busy street, and digging through garbage.

What type of commentary is being used in these examples? Mary Joe, a wildlife

What type of commentary is being used in these examples? Mary Joe, a wildlife expert at the Lindsey Wildlife Museum, reminds visitors that “fawns are safe when left alone because their camouflaging colors help them remain undetected until the parent returns. ” People that interfere with an animal in the wild are terrible humans. Nobody should disturb or remove an animal from its natural habitat. 1. In other words, due to a fawn’s brown color, the animal can burrow itself in its surroundings and go undetected, thus being safe from its predators in the wild. 2. Due to the animal’s natural camouflage abilities, the only time a human should interfere is if the animal is injured, or the young animal is found with their dead mother. 3.

The information cited is from an article titled “A Quick History” on the eighty-eightynine.

The information cited is from an article titled “A Quick History” on the eighty-eightynine. com website. Rubik’s Cube - History/Origin According to eighty-eightynine, Rubik’s cube was invented by Erno Rubik in Hungary around 1970 s. He really enjoyed 3 D geometry, and after several early setbacks he finally succeeded in constructing such a 3 D working model (“Quick History”). Sometimes a simple interest can become an inspiration for creative people. As long as the interest is strong enough, something that initially was only a dream can eventually become a reality, even when one is faced with obvious challenges. Note that the paraphrased evidence is still cited.

Rubik’s Cube - History/Origin Lead-in of evidence The website goes on to explain that

Rubik’s Cube - History/Origin Lead-in of evidence The website goes on to explain that Erno “gained inspiration from smooth pebbles on the shores of the [river] Danube”, which gave him the idea of using cylindrical shapes and axes inside the cube (“Quick History”). It is incredible how a small element of nature, such as a few pebbles, that often can go unnoticed, has given this inventor scope for imagination and room to be creative. One cannot help but admit that the natural world is interconnected with spatial and logical disciplines, making Geometry in school a much more valuable subject than it is often considered.

PRACTICE w/your own evidence OR Rubik’s Cube History/Origin “Interestingly, it was a mathematician who

PRACTICE w/your own evidence OR Rubik’s Cube History/Origin “Interestingly, it was a mathematician who brought the cube the first significant public attention outside of Hungary. David Singmaster found the mathematics of the cube to be engrossing. This led to an article and front cover picture of Rubik’s cube appearing on Scientific American in 1979. ” * The information cited is from an article titled “A Quick History” on the eighty-eightynine. com website. * Paraphrase or quote evidence by integrating it into your sentence. Then, add strong commentary. Share with another student.

PRACTICE • Exchange with someone in your table group and provide feedback in the

PRACTICE • Exchange with someone in your table group and provide feedback in the adjacent box. • Give it back. You will now edit your original work in a different color.