In the name of the most compassionate 8

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In the name of the most compassionate 8 practical ways to react while expressing

In the name of the most compassionate 8 practical ways to react while expressing yourself in a decent way: From the Mini-book series of a wonderful life seventh edition 8 Behesht. Group

Our lives are divided into two parts: 1. Events that we encounter 2. The

Our lives are divided into two parts: 1. Events that we encounter 2. The reactions that we have toward events

Some believe that the second part (our reactions) is the most important one. The

Some believe that the second part (our reactions) is the most important one. The situations we define in this mini-book can be encountered bearing three kinds of attitude: üPassive: without a precise reaction. based on lacking self confidence, bearing resignation and acceptance. üAggressive: an aggressive approach, based on rage and rashness. üActive: an approach based on expressing yourself solemnly, being effective and calm at the same time.

Below are some instances for all the 3 approaches in various situations. You may

Below are some instances for all the 3 approaches in various situations. You may even have already encountered some of them in life. It'll only take a few minutes for you to peruse them and examine the situations. What would you have done in these situations? Going through these instances can increase your skills to have active and solemn reactions.

1. Having dinner at a restaurant Ali and his wife, Sara, are having dinner

1. Having dinner at a restaurant Ali and his wife, Sara, are having dinner at a luxurious restaurant. Ali orders a medium chicken dish, but he is served a well roasted chicken on his plate. He can now react three ways.

Passively: Ali groans to Sara, nagging about how the chicken is too roasted and

Passively: Ali groans to Sara, nagging about how the chicken is too roasted and that he will never again eat at this restaurant. But when the waiter approaches and asks if everything meets their expectations, he says: no! Thanks to you. Now not only the night and the supper are ruined but he also feels outraged with himself not to have complained more clearly and said nothing about the too roasted chicken dish. Aggressively: Ali summons the waiter angrily and scolds him too unfairly over the too roasted chicken. His conduct is ridiculous to the waiter and he embarrasses his wife. At the end he has a well changed dish of medium roasted chicken, and a quite annoying silence between the couple caused by the embarrassment he brought about earlier. The waiter feels humiliated in public, and the three of them experience a bad night.

Actively: Ali calls the waiter and tells him that he has been served a

Actively: Ali calls the waiter and tells him that he has been served a well roasted chicken instead of the medium one he had ordered, letting the waiter see the dish for himself. Then politely but determined, he asks the waiter to take back the dish and bring the desired dish instead. The waiter apologizes for the inconvenience and brings him his dish within a few minutes, being happy to have been able to handle the situation. Ali and his wife enjoy the dinner at the restaurant. Ali is pleased with his conduct.

2. Being offered drugs

2. Being offered drugs

Aggressively: Ramin gets mad with Saeed; he scolds him severely, urging Saeed to leave

Aggressively: Ramin gets mad with Saeed; he scolds him severely, urging Saeed to leave that place and drop him home right now. When the guests tell Ramin that he may choose not to use the drugs he keeps on arguing and complaining. Saeed feels humiliated in front of the guests and loses interest in being friends with Ramin, and thinks better of the friendship. Passively: at last he accepts to take some, pretending he has used drugs before. He watches others closely to learn how he should use this particular drug type, although he is concerned they would offer him more. So: he cares not to annoy Saeed but then he does something he never thought he would do before.

Actively: Ramin refuses, and politely says: "no, thanks. " Then he tells everyone that

Actively: Ramin refuses, and politely says: "no, thanks. " Then he tells everyone that he has never tried using drugs and that he isn't interested in doing so. Ramin tells Saeed that he'd rather go to the movies tonight, but it's up to them how they want to spend their night. As he steps out of the party with Saeed, he expresses his discontent with how he wasn't informed of the intended drug using in advance! And that by being offered to use drugs, his freedom was well at stake should the police know about it anyhow, and he'd be arrested too. Ramin considers giving up his friendship with Saeed.

3. Asking to replace a faulty product: Passive reaction: Kamran walks slowly and hesitantly

3. Asking to replace a faulty product: Passive reaction: Kamran walks slowly and hesitantly to the counter, where the salesperson's standing. Then he stops and merely murmurs to him, not making any eye contact with him. He looks like as if he is the one who has done something wrong! He is clutching the book firmly and with an expression that says "don't hurt me!" thinks better of it and leaves.

Active: Kamran walks to the salesperson and looks at him with a calm and

Active: Kamran walks to the salesperson and looks at him with a calm and determined expression. He smiles and tells him how the product turned out to be faulty. Kamran gets a new product and the salesperson feels content too, because he has been able to satisfy a customer. Aggressive: the outraged Kamran shouts complaints at the salesperson, his expression is like he wants to humiliate him, and everybody's watching them. He takes back his money and sprints away. But now the salesperson is hostile, and he himself is not quite content.

4. Lending something: Afsane works for a private company. She is polite, kind, outgoing,

4. Lending something: Afsane works for a private company. She is polite, kind, outgoing, and efficient. Her colleagues and friends respect her. One day Maryam, one of her close friends, asks her if she can borrow the beautiful and expensive pendant she has newly owned. Afsane's fiancé has given her the pendant as a present and she doesn't want to lend it to anybody. She may act three ways:

Passively: she hides her concern about the pendant being damaged or lost, and although

Passively: she hides her concern about the pendant being damaged or lost, and although it means a great deal to her she says: “sure!” And gives it away to Maryam, and then worries about it all night long. Aggressively: Afsane gets mad at Maryam for having such a request and tells her: "no way! That's a most selfish and stupid request!" Maryam is belittled and Afsane regrets her behavior. Maryam feels down all night and their friendship is at stake. Actively: Afsane tells Maryam, politely but firmly, how much the pendant means to her and that she can't lend it because of how dear it is to her. Maryam feels disappointed but understands. Afsane is content to have been able to say what's in her heart.

5. Being overweight: Ali and Sara have been married for a little over 9

5. Being overweight: Ali and Sara have been married for a little over 9 years now. Sara has recently gained weight and Ali believes she has gone so far from how Ali liked her to be. He persistently tells her that gaining weight will threaten her health and that the children look up to her. Sara gets upset and she tries to lose weight. Now let's see how she may choose to react:

Passively: she apologizes for having gained weight and makes several excuses; in fact she

Passively: she apologizes for having gained weight and makes several excuses; in fact she doesn't have an answer to what Ali says but deep down she feels bad about his nagging and her own gaining weight, and the stress makes losing the weight harder. And so argument rises up between the couple. Aggressively: Sara denies her husband defiantly and tells him that he too doesn't look like how he did before. She tells him: "you have gained weight too but I never told you anything or treated you like that!" she belittles her husband's other behaviors and efforts and hurts his feelings, blackening the nights and days for them both. Actively: when Sara and Ali are alone together, she tells him that he's right and being overweight does threaten her health, but she adds that she didn't quite like the way he dealt with her gaining weight. She says that she'll do what she can to lose weight, which is not a too easy thing for her to do. Ali understands and together they think about how to arrange things so that Sara can lose weight being comfortable.

Up until now we've brought you 5 real situations. Now the part to put

Up until now we've brought you 5 real situations. Now the part to put yourself into test in that try and imagine yourself in the three situations you'll see below, and define the 3 ways to react in them: (passively, aggressively, and actively)

6. One of your closest friends asks you to help him during the exam,

6. One of your closest friends asks you to help him during the exam, a thing that you greatly detest and besides, it is stressful and everything may go wrong! Passive: ……………. . Aggressive: . . . . Active: …………

7. You are a college professor, one of your pupils has attended the class

7. You are a college professor, one of your pupils has attended the class only a few times and randomly, he hasn't been taking notes nor has he been doing the essays you assigned. The term finishes and he doesn't have a proper paper, and will fail. But then he comes to you, asking if you could make an exception, something which isn't a professional conduct to you, besides you strongly believe he should take the course again. Passive: ……………. . Aggressive: . . . . Active: …………

8. You've been standing in line for about an hour now. Now you're only

8. You've been standing in line for about an hour now. Now you're only two people away from the counter, suddenly a man comes and breaks into the line in front of you. Passive: ……………. . Aggressive: . . . . Active: …………

From the Mini-book series of a wonderful life seventh edition 8 Behesht. Group To

From the Mini-book series of a wonderful life seventh edition 8 Behesht. Group To sign up or see other products go to www. 8 Behesht. Group. com May the most compassionate be always with you