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Beyond A Thrill: When Sex Becomes an Addiction By Daiquiri Adkins

ad·dic·tion/əˈdik. SHən/ Noun: The fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.

What is sex addiction?

• Sex addiction is an obsessive relationship to sexual thoughts, fantasies or activities that an individual continues to engage in despite adverse consequences.

Are you a sex addict if you go to the local strip club for drinks every Friday night with the guys?

Or are you a sex addict if you go every Friday night alone?

10 Factors for Addiction

• Compulsive behavior • Loss of control • Loss of time that was spent toward the behavior or recovery

• Efforts to stop • Preoccupation • Inability to fulfill obligations (interferes with family, job, school, etc) • Failure to stop the behavior regardless of the consequences

• The behavior escalades • You lose parts of your life that were once priority • You become anxious, irritable, distressed and physically uncomfortable after stopping the behavior

There is no profile for a sex addict Anyone can be an addict

There a few behaviors associated with sex addiction

• Compulsive masturbation with or without pornography • Ongoing abuse of soft- and hard-core porn • Multiple affairs and brief “serial” relationships

• Attending strip clubs, adult bookstores and similar sex-focused environments • Prostitution, or use of prostitutes and “sensual” massage • Compulsive use of cybersex

• Ongoing anonymous sexual hookups with people met online or in person • Repeated patterns of unsafe sex • Seeking sexual experiences without regard to the immediate or long-term consequences

• Exhibitionism or voyeurism

While there currently is no diagnosis of sex addiction in the DSM-IV, clinicians in the sex addiction field have developed general criteria for diagnosing sex addiction.

Meeting three or more of these characteristics is a red flag for the consideration of sex addiction

• Recurrent failure to resist sexual impulses in order to engage in compulsive sexual behaviors.

• Frequently engaging in those behaviors to a greater extent, or over a longer period of time than intended.

• Persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to stop or control those behaviors. • Preoccupation with sexual behavior or preparatory activities. (rituals)

• Frequent engaging in the behavior when expected to fulfill occupational, academic, domestic or social obligations.

• Continuation of the behavior despite recurrent social, financial, psychological, or marital problems caused by the behavior.

• Giving up or limiting social, occupational or recreational activities due to the behavior. • Distress, anxiety, restlessness or irritability if unable to engage in the behavior.

• The American Psychiatric Association does not currently recognize sex addiction as a mental illness. Therefore, no official diagnostic criteria exist for sex addiction. • The APA does, however, have classifications that are helpful for understanding sexual behavior disorders. These disorders are called paraphilias.

Paraphilias • Pedophilia — an adult’s sexual attraction toward children • Exhibitionism — sexual excitement associated with exposing one’s genitals in public • Voyeurism — sexual excitement from watching an unsuspecting person • Sexual masochism — sexual excitement from being the recipient of inflicted or threatened pain • Sexual sadism — sexual excitement from threatening or administering pain • Transvestic fetishism — sexual excitement from wearing the clothing of the opposite sex • Frotteurism — sexual excitement from touching or fondling an unsuspecting person

Cybersex Dimension Internet Addiction inter. Sex Addiction Internet Infidelity Involved Parties Primarily individual Primarily Individual Primarily relational, third person View of Problem Characterized by hours spent on internet Content of activities, online or activities online, otherwise time spent online is secret from partner Physical Symptoms Tolerance, Withdrawal Tolerance, withdrawal, exposure to sexually explicit material Tolerance, withdrawal, Do not play a part Presence/Absence of Addictive Properties Speed, accessibility, potency of information Relationship, sexual, and connection Speed, accessibility, potency of information

Helping The Significant Other Determine If His/Her Loved One is Indeed a Sex Addict Here are warning signs and symptoms to look for when dealing with sex addiction

• Staying up late to watch television or surf the Web • Looking at pornographic material such as magazines, books, videos and clothing catalogs • Frequently isolating from spouses or partners, and not informing them of their whereabouts • Are controlling during sexual activity or have frequent mood swings before or after sex • Are demanding about sex, especially regarding time and place • Gets angry if someone shows concern about a problem with pornography

• Offers no appropriate communication during sex • Lacks intimacy before, during and after sex, and offers little or no genuine intimacy in the relationship • Does not want to socialize with others, especially peers who might intimidate them • Fails to account for increasing number of calls to 800 - or 900 - toll-free numbers

• Frequently rents pornographic videotapes • Seems to be preoccupied in public with everything around them • Has tried to switch to other forms of pornography to show a lack of dependency on one kind; concocts rules to cut down but doesn’t adhere to them • Feels depressed

• • • Is increasingly dishonest Hides pornography at work or home Lacks close friends of the same sex Frequently uses sexual humor Always has a good reason for looking at pornography

How is sex addiction treated?

Education is key. Help the client understand the concept of sex addiction. Second, assessment is necessary to determine the client’s risk level when pertaining to sex addiction

Sexual Addiction Screening Test SAST-R There are 45 “yes or no” questions to assess sexually compulsive behaviors. The responses help to differentiate between addictive and non addictive sexual behavior This can be found on www. sexhelp. com

IITAP International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals Dr. Patrick Carnes brought awareness of sexual compulsivity and addiction which led to this group of unified professionals Offers a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist program amongst other similar program Amazing resources for therapists including educational materials, assessments and Sexual Dependency Inventory

Online assessments, such as Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST), Sexual Addiction Risk Assessment (SARA), and for the partners or expartners of sex addicts, the Partner Sexuality Survey (PSS) Sexhelp. com also offers a Betrayal Bond Index for those who seem to get back into the unhealthy relationships

Support groups, group counseling, and individual counseling Individual treatment and therapy plan

Dr. Carnes’ Process of Recovery

• Sexual codependents demonstrate denial, preoccupation, enabling, rescuing, taking excessive responsibility, emotional turmoil, efforts to control, compromise of self, anger and problems with sexuality. • The partners of sex addicts experiences a traumatic loss of self as they make sexual compromises in the relationship that may go against their moral values.

• Group counseling will help the codependent to realize that there are others in similar situations • Individual counseling will help to address other issues and help the codependent rediscover their sense of self and let go of the shame

• Forgiveness is a critical part of recovery for the partner of a sex addict. • Forgiveness is for the partner, not the addict. This will help the partner to heal from the pain and to hopefully break the cycle.

Pornography and compulsive masturbation seem to be the more popular behaviors

Resources: www. sexhelp. com www. recoveryzone. net (Online Assessments) www. IITAP. com (Great materials and education for therapists. Certification available) References Carnes, P. , Green, B. , & Carnes, S. (2010). The Same Yet Different: Refocusing the Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST) to Reflect Orientation and Gender. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 17(1), 7 -30. Carnes, P. J. , Murray, R. E. , & Charpentier, L. (2005). Bargains With Chaos: Sex Addicts and Addiction Interaction Disorder. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 12(2/3), 79 -120.

Hayden, D. (2009). FAQs for Partners of Sex Addicts. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 28, 2012, from http: //psychcentral. com/lib/2009/faqs-for-partners-of-sex-addicts/ Herkov, M. (2006). Is Sexual Addiction a Recognized Disorder? . Psych Central. Retrieved on November 28, 2012, from http: //psychcentral. com/lib/2006/is-sexual-addiction-a-recognizeddisorder/ Jones, K. E. , & Hertlein, K. M. (2012). Four Key Dimensions for Distinguishing Internet Infidelity From Internet and Sex Addiction: Concepts and Clinical Application. American Journal Of Family Therapy, 40(2), 115 -125. Weiss, R. (2012). Hypersexuality: Symptoms of Sexual Addiction. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 28, 2012, from http: //psychcentral. com/lib/2012/hypersexuality-symptoms-ofsexual-addiction/