How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen

HELPING CHILDREN DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS �“All we are given are possibilities -to make

HELPING CHILDREN DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS � Important on in life brain connections are

HELPING CHILDREN DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS � “I was a wonderful parent before I

HELPING CHILDREN DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS � How we sabotage our children’s feelings �

HELPING CHILDREN DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS � How can be become more empathetic to

HELPING CHILDREN DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS � Give feelings a name � CHILD: “Daddy

HELPING CHILDREN DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS � Having an “attitude” of understanding. � The

HELPING CHILDREN DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS � Exercises � Read each statement and figure

HELPING CHILDREN DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS � Assignment � At for the month: least

Slides: 10

Download presentation

How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk PART ONEWEDNESDAY APRIL 17, 2013

HELPING CHILDREN DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS �“All we are given are possibilities -to make ourselves one thing or another. ” � -Jose Ortega Y Gasset

HELPING CHILDREN DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS � Important on in life brain connections are formed early

HELPING CHILDREN DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS � “I was a wonderful parent before I had children!” � What where your expectations of parenthood? � How are they in contrast to the realities of parenting?

HELPING CHILDREN DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS � How we sabotage our children’s feelings � Dismissing their perception of reality � “I was telling my children over and over again not to trust their own perceptions but to rely on mine instead. ” � Practice: � CHILD: I don’t like the new baby. � PARENT: (denying the feeling) � CHILD: I had a dumb birthday party (After all the work you put into it) � PARENT: (denying the feeling)

HELPING CHILDREN DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS � How can be become more empathetic to our children’s view of their own reality? � They can learn to help themselves if they have a listening ear and an empathetic response. � This “language” does not come naturally to use, we must practice this reflective listening. � To help with feelings: � Listen will full attention, acknowledge the feeling, give feelings a name, give them their wishes in fantasy.

HELPING CHILDREN DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS � Give feelings a name � CHILD: “Daddy my turtle died. He was my friend. ” � PARENT: “To lose a friend can hurt. I know you really cared about your turtle” � Parents are afraid to give feelings a name sometimes for fear they make the situation worse. Just the opposite is true. Children who hear the words for what they are experiencing are deeply comforted.

HELPING CHILDREN DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS � Having an “attitude” of understanding. � The key to successfully helping your child deal with their feelings is your attitude. � Having an attitude of compassion is essential for our message to be heard � “It is when our words are fused with our real feelings of empathy that we speak directly to a child’s heart”

HELPING CHILDREN DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS � Exercises � Read each statement and figure out a word or two that might describe how the child is feeling, and a statement you might make to the child to show you understand � “The bus driver yelled at me and everybody laughed” � “I’d like to punch that Michael in the nose!” � “Just because of a little rain my teacher said we couldn’t go outside, she’s dumb” � “Janey is moving away and she’s my best friend. ”

HELPING CHILDREN DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS � Assignment � At for the month: least once a week have a conversation with a child in which you accept his or her feelings. Jot down what was said while it’s still fresh in your mind.