How to Support Your Anxious Child Christina Tripodi

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How to Support Your Anxious Child Christina Tripodi Mitchell, Psy. D. , NCSP Licensed

How to Support Your Anxious Child Christina Tripodi Mitchell, Psy. D. , NCSP Licensed School and Clinical Psychologist

What causes anxiety? Where does it come from? • Anxiety is fear of a

What causes anxiety? Where does it come from? • Anxiety is fear of a real or imagined threat • It is biologically driven – our “alarm clock” that notifies us something “dangerous” is at hand • Different triggers: • Cognitive: Fear of present or future events triggered by perceptions • Behavioral: Learned behavior and avoidance • Physiological: Misinterpretation of physical symptoms

Breaking Down the Cycle of Anxious Thinking • There is a strong relationship between

Breaking Down the Cycle of Anxious Thinking • There is a strong relationship between our thoughts, our feelings, and our behaviors. • Example: “I can’t speak in public, I might faint from worry” > Feeling anxious > Avoidance of situations where you may experience anxiety

Anxiety in Young Children • “School drop off, or any separation, is a nightmare

Anxiety in Young Children • “School drop off, or any separation, is a nightmare for us. My daughter refuses to let go of my hand makes a scene. ” • “My son is constantly checking on things – whether he’ll be late, asking if he is sick, or if something is going to happen to us. ”

The Many Faces Of Adolescent Anxiety • “My daughter is constantly doing homework. She

The Many Faces Of Adolescent Anxiety • “My daughter is constantly doing homework. She comes home and works from after dinner until 11 pm if not later. She cannot ‘let go’ of an assignment until it is perfect. She’s sleeping 4 -6 hours per night. ” • “All my son does is talk about college acceptances; he is constantly looking at schools’ stats and comparing himself. ” • My daughter seems to worry about everything – the weather, her weight, the future, what her friends thinks of her…I feel like it never stops. ”

Where Does Childhood Anxiety Come From? • Brain: Children’s brains (especially in adolescence) are

Where Does Childhood Anxiety Come From? • Brain: Children’s brains (especially in adolescence) are undergoing remodeling and change – growth spurt in frontal cortex (responsible for logic and judgment). Does not fully mature until the mid-twenties. • Body: Puberty and hormonal fluctuations can intensify feelings, bring physical changes, and oftentimes increased insecurity. • Identity: Social pressures – deciding who they are, experiencing and being aware of social judgment. • Stress and Expectations: Academic demands are most common triggers; expectations from teachers, coaches, parents, and self.

What Does Childhood Anxiety Look Like? Younger Children: • Irritability • Anger Adolescents: •

What Does Childhood Anxiety Look Like? Younger Children: • Irritability • Anger Adolescents: • Can also be irritable, angry, or frustrated • Frustration intolerance • Excessive worry or concern • Negative self-talk • Social withdrawal • Avoidance • Committing “cognitive distortions” or “mental mistakes” • Avoidance

What is your child’s primary worry pattern or style? We are going to focus

What is your child’s primary worry pattern or style? We are going to focus on three main subtypes: • Generalized Worriers • Perfectionistic Children and Teens • Socially Anxious Children and Teens

Generalized Worriers Children: Adolescents: May worry about… • Leaving parents • Grades • New

Generalized Worriers Children: Adolescents: May worry about… • Leaving parents • Grades • New situations • Appearances • Trying new things • Performance • Something bad happening to them or parents • Social pressures and acceptance • Future events

Generalized Worriers Your worrier may experience: 1. Fearing the Worst: “Catastrophizing” is a cognitive

Generalized Worriers Your worrier may experience: 1. Fearing the Worst: “Catastrophizing” is a cognitive mistake where individuals predict and assume that the most negative outcome possible will occur. 2. Thinking in Extremes: May show “all-or-nothing” thinking and focusing on negative outcome of various situations. 3. Noticing Only the Negatives: Paying more attention to what went / goes wrong. May increase anxiety because it discounts the positive events.

Generalized Worriers: Activity (match the thoughts with the cognitive mistake) Cognitive “Mistakes: ” Thoughts:

Generalized Worriers: Activity (match the thoughts with the cognitive mistake) Cognitive “Mistakes: ” Thoughts: 1. Overgeneralizing 1. I performed badly on this test so I won’t get into college. 2. Catastrophizing 3. All-or-Nothing Thinking 2. If I don’t get a 4. 0 I will be a failure. 3. I didn’t do well on my audition, so I’ll never be a musician.

Generalized Worries How parents can help: 1. Show Empathy: Validate and acknowledge your student’s

Generalized Worries How parents can help: 1. Show Empathy: Validate and acknowledge your student’s worries, and let them know you understand how distressing it can feel. 2. Teach the Importance of Perceptions: Teach your child that how they think about a situation will impact how they act and feel. Teach them to challenge their mental mistakes. 3. Discuss How You Cope with Worry: Share your own strategies; model mindfulness, talking it out, journaling, talking to a therapist, or thought-charting.

Perfectionistic Kids Signs and Symptoms • Feels that performance is never good enough •

Perfectionistic Kids Signs and Symptoms • Feels that performance is never good enough • Becomes upset when makes mistake • Procrastinates out of fear of doing less-thanperfect job • Views criticisms as failures • Excessively reviews or corrects work

Perfectionistic Kids Perfectionistic children may experience: 1. Disrupted Task Performance: May not realize how

Perfectionistic Kids Perfectionistic children may experience: 1. Disrupted Task Performance: May not realize how their perfectionism gets in the way of task completion (e. g. constant editing and revisions). Can lead to academic troubles. 2. Experience Heightened Test Anxiety: May demonstrate paralyzing anxiety or dread before tests; maintain impossible standards; concentration problems 3. Increased Emotional Distress: Can lead to chronic worry, performance / social anxiety, self-blame. May lead to depression or body image concerns.

Perfectionistic Kids How parents can help: 1. Model “Positive Striving” and normalize imperfection: Demonstrate

Perfectionistic Kids How parents can help: 1. Model “Positive Striving” and normalize imperfection: Demonstrate through your own everyday activities what setting realistic goals look like, knowing your limitations, being ok if something goes wrong, and making non-catastrophic judgments about yourself. 2. Convey your own standards for success: Let them know that making a mistake does not define them. Back up your words with positive reinforcement when you see your child make more accurate self appraisals. 3. Support Positive Striving: Parents convey values through what they attend to and what they encourage – positively acknowledge when your child makes realistic goals, is passionate about learning, and displays appropriate levels of effort.

Socially Anxious Kids Signs and Symptoms • Worries about answering questions in class •

Socially Anxious Kids Signs and Symptoms • Worries about answering questions in class • Avoids asking for help • Stays quiet in crowds • Avoids meeting new people • Gets extremely anxious during public speaking or performances • Avoids social events

Socially Anxious Kids Socially anxious children may experience: 1. Social Insecurity: Teen years in

Socially Anxious Kids Socially anxious children may experience: 1. Social Insecurity: Teen years in particular are primed for insecurity and worrying about what others may think. This gets in the way of them practicing important developmental tasks (e. g. making new friends, trying new activities, experiencing success). 2. Negative Thoughts: Socially anxious children perceive social situations differently and commit “cognitive mistakes: ” - Mind Reading - All-or-Nothing Thinking

Socially Anxious Kids How parents can help: 1. Modify Anxious Perceptions: - Could you

Socially Anxious Kids How parents can help: 1. Modify Anxious Perceptions: - Could you be magnifying the importance of this one event for how others might view you? - What would happen if people noticed you did something wrong? - Is there a possibility people may not be watching you as closely as you think?

Socially Anxious Kids Ways parents can help con’t 2. Normalize Fears and Mistakes: Explain

Socially Anxious Kids Ways parents can help con’t 2. Normalize Fears and Mistakes: Explain that everyone gets nervous before presentations, etc. ; point out times in your own life where you made mistakes; model self-acceptance in everyday life. 3. Using Positive Self-Talk: Help your child shift their thinking by creating a thought chart that identifies more positive, realistic statements about the feared situation.

When is it time to seek help? Check the boxes below that apply q

When is it time to seek help? Check the boxes below that apply q My child is distressed / anxious q My child is avoiding q My child’s behavior has markedly changed q School performance has been impacted q Social patterns have changed q Irritability has increased and/or concentration has decreased q Sleep has worsened q Symptoms of physical discomfort have increased

When is it time to seek help? Finding a therapist: 1. Pay attention to

When is it time to seek help? Finding a therapist: 1. Pay attention to goodness-of-fit – your child has to feel comfortable with therapist in order for work to take place. 2. Ask therapist: - How many years have you been in practice? - What is your approach or orientation to treatment? - Do you have specific training in anxiety and working with children/teens? - How will you approach treatment? - How involved will I be?

Resources Books: 1. 2. 3. The Anxiety Workbook for Teens: Activities to help you

Resources Books: 1. 2. 3. The Anxiety Workbook for Teens: Activities to help you deal with anxiety and worry My Anxious Mind: A teen’s guide to managing anxiety and panic Freeing Your Child From Anxiety: Practical strategies to overcome fears, worries, phobias, and be prepared for life Websites: 1. American Psychological Association: www. apa. org 2. American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry: www. aacap. org 3. Anxiety and Depression Association of America: www. adaa. org