How to Make Your Writing Better Common Errors
How to Make Your Writing Better
Common Errors This is a list of mistakes that almost 100 percent of students in both my journalism classes made.
The too-long sentence
Too long! The Super Bowl, arguably the biggest sports event of the year, appeared on network television last year, featuring the LA Rams, who first played in the big game in 1979, versus the Patriots, who are actually based in Foxboro, Massachusetts, and are anchored by quarterback Tom Brady, who is over 40 years old.
Better The Super Bowl, arguably the biggest sports event of the year, appeared on network television last year. It featured the Philadelphia Eagles, who first played in the big game in 1979, versus the Patriots, who are actually based in Foxboro, Massachusetts. New England is anchored by quarterback Tom Brady, who is over 40 years old.
How can you avoid long sentences? • Look at it. Does it look more like a paragraph than a sentence? • Read it all at once out loud. If you feel breathless, it’s too long. • Look at the number of “ands, ” buts” and “becauses. ” If you have more than one, consider breaking it up.
The run-on sentence
Incorrect: In the near future, I plan on opening a restaurant, I don’t know where it will be, but I’m excited. Correct: In the near future, I plan on opening a restaurant. I don’t know where it will be, but I’m excited.
Incorrect: I want to improve my athletic skills, so that I can play in the World Cup, soccer is my passion, and I love it. Correct: I want to improve my athletic skills, so that I can play in the World Cup. Soccer is my passion, and I love it.
What’s wrong here? I noticed that my interest in journalism was changing, I no longer had an interest in being in front of the camera, I wanted to focus on writing.
Fixed… I noticed that my interest in journalism was changing. I no longer had an interest in being in front of the camera, but instead I wanted to focus on writing.
The incomplete sentence
Incorrect: Some days I love to get away from the city. Go on long car rides and come home with stories to tell. Correct: Some days I love to get away from the city. I go on long car rides and come home with stories to tell. Correct: Some days I love to get away from the city and go on long car rides. I enjoy coming home with stories to tell.
Incorrect: I plan to intern at Power 105. 1 FM. Standing alongside some of my favorite radio personalities. Correct: I plan to intern at Power 105. 1 FM, standing alongside some of my favorite radio personalities.
Too many unnecessary words. Simple = better. Think “lean, mean, clean. ” Wordy The issue of prejudice is confusing to me due to the fact that I am not cognizant of skin color. .
Better! Prejudice confuses me, because I don’t notice skin color.
Wordy I was made aware of the fact that my uncle died when I tuned into the television news.
Better! I turned on the news and found out my uncle had died.
Repetitiveness Incorrect Next, I plan to work at a music management company, working with singers and dancers.
correct Next, I plan to work at a music management company, working with singers and dancers.
Incorrect I love to cook and hope to find new and different ways of cooking the foods I love.
Better! I love to cook and hope to find new and different ways of preparing the foods I enjoy.
Too much repetition – let’s fix Next year, I plan to take my accounting exam, which is a mandatory exam that I need to pass. I plan to graduate next spring.
To repeat myself…don’t repeat yourself! Next year, I plan to take my accounting exam, which is a mandatory exam test that I need to pass. I plan intend to graduate in the next spring.
How to avoid being repetitive: • In journalism, you don’t need to “re-state thesis” like in essay writing. • Find different words. Not: I love soccer and love baseball. Better: I love soccer and enjoy playing baseball. • Never say: Like I said before or As I mentioned previously or the “aforementioned…. ”
Passive Voice--uck! Be active, not passive. Don’t let something be done by somebody or something.
Not: A number of things are indicated by these results.
Better! The results indicate a number of things.
not Once the plan is put into place, success can be achieved.
Better Once I put the plan into place, I can achieve success. [note: you must know who the subject is!]
Try this trick:
• According to the medical community, heart disease is considered preventable. • African Americans were discriminated against in the South. • Journalistic mistakes were made when covering the presidential election.
Replace all forms of the “to be” verb with active or action verbs Get rid of: there is, are, were, was, has been, could be…. . etc. Do this EVEN if you have to re-work the sentence. Just don’t change the meaning.
Not Soccer is a sport that creates action.
Better Soccer creates action.
It helps to put the subject and the action at the beginning of the sentence! Not: There are three things I care about.
Better: I care about three things.
There is/there are/there was – almost always unnecessary! Not: There will be a time where I will be living out of New York City.
So much better! There will be a In time where I will be living out of New York City
Not The next thing I want to accomplish is to graduate from college.
Better Next, I want to graduate from college.
Not Professor Villarosa is a good teacher.
Better Professor Villarosa teaches well.
Not : -( My dream when I began my path in business was to work for Apple.
Better When I began my path in business, I dreamed of working for Apple.
Not The Patriots were the winners against the Rams in the Super Bowl.
Better • The Patriots beat the Rams. • Poor Rams—the Patriots swept by them during the entire game. • New England crushed LA. • The Patriots kicked some Los Angeles tail -- sad! • The (cheating, ball-deflating) Patriots destroyed the Rams.
In general, be lean, clean & direct Not: Having support is something that should be given to everyone by everyone.
Much tighter and more direct! Everyone deserves support.
Let’s clean this up…. What is challenging always but what is made even worse with the Covid times is that people are lost and confused about the path forward in their lives.
Cleaner & leaner! (note subject & action at the front!) People almost always feel lost and confused about the path forward in their lives, but covid times make it even worse.
Last one…. There are many things that I want, but my end goal is to be a creative director due to the fact that I love design.
Cleaner! I want many things, but ultimately, I intend to be a creative director because I love design.
checklist • Use spell check! • Make sure all names are correct. Unless you’re totally sure, look it up. • Read everything over to check for careless errors or typos. Even better, read it over out loud. • Get rid of any passive voice. • Replace “to be” with active or action verbs.
- Slides: 54