HOW TO IDENTIFY WEAK THESIS STATEMENTS For collegelevel

HOW TO IDENTIFY WEAK THESIS STATEMENTS For college-level, five-paragraph essays

WHAT’S A GOOD THESIS STATEMENT? must express ONE main idea about the topic (outlining the writer’s opinion, attitude, or feelings about the topic, or facts regarding it) must take a stand/ have a CONTROLLIN G IDEA/mention specific points of discussion (must be RELEVANT to the topic assigned) Depending on the topic and nature of the essay, must interpret the significance of the subject matter, OR answer questions asked, OR make a claim must be SUPPORTAB LE by at least three points and sufficient examples © e n g li s h n o t e s. o r g

IDENTIFYING WEAK ONES Topic: How is college education in America different from another country? This essay is going to be on differences in college in America and college in India. . no controlling idea/no indication of author’s stand on the issue © e n g li s h n o t e s. o r g Okay, you are simply announcing the topic here. But what points about the topic is your essay going to make? Which aspects of the differences will your essay look at? If you don’t mention that, thesis statement lacks direction.

Topic: How is college education in America different from another country? This essay will talk about the differences between American and Indian education system. © too broad/no controlling idea Education system is too broad a term to use in a thesis statement. This does not clearly indicate if the essay is going to consider schools, or colleges, or higher education; it does not indicate which aspects of the system in both countries will be considered to highlight the differences: teaching methods? teacher-student relationships? Facilities? e n g li s h n o t e s. o r g

Topic: How is college education in America different from another country? too narrow I am going to talk about how teachers in America are different than teachers in India. © e n g li s h n o t e s. o r g This is too narrow for a thesis statement. Would you be able to generate three substantial, sufficiently varied points to support this statement? Probably not. This statement does not give you enough room to develop a well-supported composition with enough examples or discussiongenerating content.

Topic: How is college education in America different from another country? Things are different in India than America. vague © e n g li s h n o t e s. o r g Yes, granted. But of the numerous differences in all imaginable areas, what exactly will your essay look at? This sentence is directionless and serves no function in furthering, supporting or enhancing the content of the essay.

Topic: How is college education in America different from another country? obvious College education in India is different from that in America. That is pretty obvious. But which aspects would your essay focus on? Any indication of the areas of differences that your essay will look at will give thesis statement some clear features. Otherwise, it is like merely restating the topic in different words and therefore purposeless. © e n g li s h n o t e s. o r g

Topic: How is college education in America different from another country? Are colleges in America different from colleges in India? invalid This is merely restating the topic without either making a statement about it or indicating any probable direction that the essay will take. It is not a thesis statement at all, but an unnecessary rhetorical question that serves no purpose in establishing meaning or furthering argument. © e n g li s h n o t e s. o r g

CHECKLIST Does thesis statement pass the ‘so what’ test? ©e n If, after reading your thesis statement, the reader’s first g response is ‘so what? ’ then you need to clarify your claim or sli stand, show a relationship, or connect to a larger issue. If hn your thesis statement fails the ‘so what? ’ test, it means that o t your statement is too obvious and lacks a controlling idea. e s. o Does thesis statement answer ‘why’ or ‘how’ r satisfactorily? g If, after reading your thesis statement, the reader still wonders ‘why’ or ‘how, ’ then you need to revise it to indicate the lines of argument you will be taking up in the body of the essay, or the proof you will be using to support your claim.

IDENTIFY WHY EACH OF THE FOLLOWING THESIS SENTENCES IS POORLY FORMED 1. Obesity is a big problem. Check your answer 2. The average of first-time mothers is approximately twenty-eight years old. Check your answer 3. There are many ways of improving one’s English proficiency skills. Check your answer 4. In my opinion, students must do part-time jobs while studying. Check your answer 5. Is technology a boon or a bane? Check your answer © e n g li s h n o t e s. o r g

Why is example 1 a poor thesis statement? Problem: Obvious. Suggested revision: Obesity affects a person’s health, lifestyle choices, and emotional wellbeing. OR Obesity, often caused by unhealthy lifestyle choices, has physical, emotional, and financial impacts. © e n g li s h n o t e s. o r g

What’s wrong with example 2? Problem: Too narrow. Suggested revision: Many couples are choosing to remain © childless for several reasons, which include career and e n lifestyle choices. g li s h n o t e s. o r g

What’s wrong with example 3? Problem: No controlling idea/vague. Possible revision: This essay will focus on ways of improving English proficiency skills through attending language lessons, volunteering, and using the media. © e n g li s h n o t e s. o r g

Analyzing example 4 Problem: No controlling idea. A better way: Because they can earn, enhance job-related skills, as well as build profession-related network, part-time©e n jobs often prove to be an advantage for students. g li s h n o t e s. o r g

What’s wrong with example 5? Problem: Invalid A better way: Although over-dependence on or misuse of © technology can result in harmful effects, technological e advancement can overall be seen as a boon to mankind. ng li s OR h Although there are problems related to misuse, abuse, or no over-dependence, technology has been a tremendous helpet to mankind, especially in the fields of healthcare, education, s. o r and science. g