How a Righteous Life Makes for a Better

How a Righteous Life Makes for a Better Marriage A Study of the Sermon on the Mount. 10/30/2020 1

Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. • Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. • Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. • Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. • Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. • Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality. 10/30/2020 27

Matthew 5: 38 -42—“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. ’ 39“But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40“If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. 41“And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. 42“Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away. 10/30/2020 28

Purpose of the Law: • It held a man responsible for what he did. • It up held a plaintiff’s right to compensation and justice. • It took vengeance out of the hands of a plaintiff and placed it in the hands of civil authorities. • It mandated that the punishment fit the crime. 10/30/2020 33

“Eye for eye, tooth for tooth” • The Pharisees Perversion of the Law: A Right of Personal Vengeance • Principle Taught by Jesus: We should not resist evil with evil (Romans 12: 17, 21) 10/30/2020 34

Instead of Retaliation • • Endure Personal Insult Forgo Personal “Rights” Go the Extra Mile Don’t Withhold Benevolence Christians Are NOT Out to Even the Score 10/30/2020 35

Applications to Marriage • Marriages based on GRACE and NOT JUSTICE – Do we insist on our rights? (1 Cor. 9: 4 -5) – Do my rights outweigh my mate’s needs? – I cannot control my mates’ actions, but I’m responsible to God for my actions and character (Ref. Eph. 5: 28 -29; 1 Pet. 3: 7; 1 Pet. 3: 1 -2; Eph. 5: 33) – Do we focus on giving or receiving? 10/30/2020 40

Applications to Marriage • Marriages based on GRACE and NOT JUSTICE • Grace based marriages are focused on FORGIVENESS not SCOREKEEPING – Scorekeeping keeps tabs on the smallest infractions – Scorekeeping results in bitterness 10/30/2020 41

Applications to Marriage • Marriages based on GRACE and NOT JUSTICE • Grace based marriages are focused on FORGIVENESS not SCOREKEEPING • GRACE = FORGIVENESS 10/30/2020 42

Three Reasons to Forgive • Relationship with God • Relationship with My Mate • Seeing the Results of Forgiveness in Marriage 10/30/2020 43

Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. • Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. • Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. • Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. • Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. • Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality. • Show Love When The Other Person Is Least Deserving Of It. 10/30/2020 44

Love (agape) • More than a feeling • Seeks the highest good • Is active If we can love our enemies when they don’t deserve it, then we can love our mates when they are “undeserving” of it. 10/30/2020 45

“You Shall Be Perfect, Just As Your Father in Heaven Is Perfect” • God loves us based upon who He is (Ref. Rom. 5: 8) • We love others based upon who we are 10/30/2020 46

Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. • Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. • Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. • Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. • Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. • Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality. • Show Love When The Other Person Is Least Deserving Of It. 10/30/2020 53

The Sermon on the Mount: • Matthew 5: 21 -48—Jesus condemned the Pharisees and scribes teaching. • Matthew 6: 1 -18—Jesus condemned the Pharisees and scribes practices. 10/30/2020 54

The Pharisees Manifest Pride and Hypocrisy Through • Their giving of alms to be seen by men. (vv. 1 -4) • Their prayer life. (vv. 6 -15) • Their practices when fasting. (vv. 16 -18) 10/30/2020 55

Matthew 6: 1 -34 Threats Against True Righteousness • Matthew 6: 1 -18—Hypocritical Behavior. • Matthew 6: 19 -34—Materialism. 10/30/2020 56

Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. • Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. • Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. • Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. • Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. • Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality. • Show Love When The Other Person Is Least Deserving Of It. • Avoid the Pitfalls of Materialism. 10/30/2020 57

Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. • Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. • Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. • Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. • Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. • Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality. • Show Love When The Other Person Is Least Deserving Of It. • Avoid the Pitfalls of Materialism. • Be Fair with Criticism. 10/30/2020 68

Be Fair with Criticism • Jesus is not forbidding all judging (John 7: 24; Matt. 18: 15 -17; Matt. 7: 15 -20) • Jesus is forbidding the “fault finding” spirit (Matt. 7: 1 -5) We would do will to apply this principle to our marriages 10/30/2020 69

Double Standards? • • In child rearing? In money management? In maturity? In communication with in-laws? Marriages face enough serious issues without mates manufacturing a few more. 10/30/2020 70

PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program. ) • • Escalation Invalidation Negative Interpretations Withdrawal And Avoidance 10/30/2020 71

Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. • Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. • Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. • Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. • Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. • Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality. • Show Love When The Other Person Is Least Deserving Of It. • Avoid the Pitfalls of Materialism. • Be Fair with Criticism. • Pray for Yourself, Your Marriage, and Your Spouse. 10/30/2020 73

Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. • Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. • Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. • Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. • Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. • Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality. • Show Love When The Other Person Is Least Deserving Of It. • Avoid the Pitfalls of Materialism. • Be Fair with Criticism. • Pray for Yourself, Your Marriage, and Your Spouse. • Observe the Golden Rule in Marriage. 10/30/2020 78

PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program. ) • • Escalation Invalidation Negative Interpretations Withdrawal And Avoidance 10/30/2020 80

Conclusion: • Matthew 7: 13 -14 speaks of two paths. • Matthew 7: 15 -19 speaks of two kinds of fruit. • Matthew 7: 24 -27 speaks of two types of foundations. 10/30/2020 81