Healthy vs Unhealthy relationships Reality vs Fantasy n

Healthy vs. Unhealthy relationships

Reality vs. Fantasy n n HEALTHY relationships are based in reality. Each person is aware of his own strengths and weaknesses. There is no need to HIDE or try to FOOL the other. Each person is also aware of the other’s strengths and weaknesses. DON’T PRETEND that problems don’t exist. OR tiptoe around sensitive areas. UNHEALTHY relationships are based on FANTASY. What COULD BE or what SHOULD BE replaces what it actually is. UNREALITY is the focus.

Completing vs. Finding Completion n n In a HEALTHY relationship, each person finds JOY in the other. . Completing one another. In an UNHEALTHY relationship the focus is completing yourself. The person gives someone only half of them… when completion is not found they will seek a replacement.

Friendship vs. Victimization Healthy: can be described as two GOOD FRIENDS becoming BETTER friends. The strongest and most successful relationships have this TRUE friendship n If the base of true friendship is absent, the relationship is shallow & susceptible to being marked by victimization. n

Sacrifice vs. Demand for sacrifice NO relationship can grow without sacrifice n Most of us are accustomed to demanding sacrifice from our partner without sacrificing ourselves n

Forgiveness vs. Resentment n n Forgiveness is a miraculous gift between two people. Relationships flourish when we are willing to forgive past hurts and disappointments Refusing to forgive is like carrying around a garbage bag full of hurts of the past There are NO garbage bags in healthy relationships.

Security vs. Fear n n n Often people come from such insecure places that they can only hope that adult life will include a relationships that allows them to rest in the arms of someone who cares. We often feel an overwhelming need for at least one relationship to make us feel safe. There is no fear in love.

Vulnerability vs. Defensiveness n n n In a secure and healthy environment a person can feel free to open up and be vulnerable. It is wonderful to be vulnerable, to do an emotional free fall and have someone there to catch you. In a relationship characterized by fear, there is a need to build up a wall of defensiveness.

Honesty vs. deception You can NOT build a lasting, healthy relationship on a foundation of DISHONESTY. n Honesty must be at the core of your relationship. n