Healthy Relationships What is a healthy dating relationship

Healthy Relationships

What is a healthy dating relationship? Both partners give and take, each getting their way some of the time and compromising some of the time. They respect each other, and value one another's opinions. They trust one another, and learn not to inflict jealous and restrictive feelings on the other if they should arise. Neither is afraid of the other.

What is a healthy dating relationship? They communicate openly and honestly, and make their partners feel safe in expressing themselves. They share responsibility in decision making. They accept and respect the differences between each other. They encourage each other to have friends and activities outside the relationship.

Signs of an unhealthy relationship • “Falling in love” immediately • Obsessive behaviour • Ignoring other priorities (e. g. friendships, school work, family, extra-curricular activities) • Abusive behaviour • Being preoccupied with the other (can’t think of anything else) • Acting on sexual impulses without talking about boundaries first • Going against personal values or rights to please the other • Having inappropriate boundaries/crossing boundaries (e. g. touching without asking ) • Letting the other control you • Believing that the other can anticipate your needs • Expecting others to fulfill all your needs and make you happy

Sex and Dating Relationships • It’s not just something to “do”. • Just because you date someone for a while does not mean you have to have sex with them. • Sex is the most intimate physical and emotional bond you can make with a person. • Sex should be an expression of love. • Sex is not dirty or bad, it is beautiful in the right context.

So what is the right context? Chastity: respecting one’s sexuality and the sexuality of others, having sexual self-control, and abstaining from sexual activity outside of marriage.

Purposes of Sex 1. Unitive 2. Procreative

Real love proves itself through sacrifice.

“A 2005 study of youth in grades 7 -11 found that engaging in premarital sex often leads to depression. Compared to girls who abstain, girls who engage in premarital sex are two to three times more likely to be depressed. . . Teens who engage in premarital sex are also likely to experience regret, guilt, lowered selfrespect, fear of commitment and fears about pregnancy and STDs. ”

Setting Boundaries are important in determining the compatibility of a relationship. Each of us has boundaries, some of which go unspoken, in many areas of our lives. We set boundaries in regard to physical proximity and touch, the words that are acceptable when we are spoken to, honesty, emotional intimacy (such as how much we self-disclose to others) When one or both people in a relationship has difficulty with boundaries, the relationship suffers.

Practical Steps to a Healthy Relationship: – Wait until you are ready to be in one! – Set boundaries before starting a relationship – Get accountability – Date someone with similar values – Be friends first – Don’t spend too much time alone – Find creative ways to show affection

Modesty An attitude of decency in dress, speech, and behaviour. Showing respect for self and others by the way you look and act. Does not draw undue attention to self.

For the sake of a happy future, a healthy marriage one day, and freedom from emotional baggage and physical consequences: Draw boundaries, be modest, and consider waiting to have sex until the right time. After all, love proves itself through sacrifice.