HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS OUR BODIES FRIENDS DATING SEXUALITYSEX INTIMACY
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS— OUR BODIES FRIENDS DATING SEXUALITY/SEX INTIMACY
Dr. Marilyn K Volker, Sexologist Miami, FL besafemv@gmail. com American Board Of Sexology American Academy of Clinical Sexology
Physically Sexually
SAFETY DECISIONS • • • WHO? ? WHAT? ? WHERE? ? WHEN? ? ? WHY? ? ? HOW? ? ?
SAFETY DECISIONS • • WHAT ARE THE POSITIVES? WHAT ARE THE NEGATIVES? WHAT IS MY GOAL? WHAT ARE MY VALUES? —I’ll DO THIS— I WON’T DO THIS--
SAFETY COMMUNICATION • • I’LL DO THIS…. . BUT NOT THAT… YES…. or NO…. or I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT MAYBE LATER NOT NOW I HAVE TO TALK TO ______ FIRST
8 TYPES OF INTIMACY Affection (not sex) Social Emotional (talk about feelings) Spiritual Physical (not sex) Aesthetic (sharing something beautiful) Intellectual Sexual (talk about facts) (outercourse / intercourse)
Just Say “KNOW” • Use your head • Use your heart • Always be safe www. si. edu/. . . /faq/ nmnh/buginfo/butterfly. htm
8 TYPES OF INTIMACY Affection (not sex) Social Emotional (talk about feelings) Spiritual Physical (not sex) Aesthetic (sharing something beautiful) Intellectual Sexual (talk about facts) (outercourse / intercourse)
Psycho-sexual skill development and problematic Sexual Behaviors • • • Courtship Touching Staring Obsessing- blind infatuations Wishful thinking Understanding wants and needs Love and Friendship Sexual emotions and adolescence Communication and Sexuality 13
AFFECTIONAL INTIMACY • WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF AFFECTION? • HUGS • NOTES/E-MAIL/TEXT/TWEET • KISSES • FIST BUMP • HIGH FIVE • NICE WORDS
http: //www. glad. org/images/Kerrigan_couples_big. gif
THIS IS ME/I RESPECT ME • • • I AM: I LIKE TO DO THIS: I DON’T LIKE TO DO THIS: I WISH I COULD: I WOULD LIKE TO: I’M LEARNING ABOUT: MY PETS/HOBBIES: MY FAMILY: MY FRIENDS:
8 TYPES OF INTIMACY Affection (not sex) Social Emotional (talk about feelings) Spiritual Physical (not sex) Aesthetic (sharing something beautiful) Intellectual Sexual (talk about facts) (outercourse / intercourse)
Emotional Intimacy • • Sharing YOUR Feelings Listening to OTHER’S Be Respectful Thank You for Listening
COMMUNICATE… • • • I FEEL…. . I’D LIKE TO… I DON’T WANT TO… I’LL DO THIS… I WON’T DO THIS… HOW DO YOU FEEL?
Someone who pressures you is NOT thinking about your feelings! Tell him or her how you feel.
8 TYPES OF INTIMACY Affection (not sex) Social Emotional (talk about feelings) Spiritual Physical (not sex) Aesthetic (sharing something beautiful) Intellectual Sexual (talk about facts) (outercourse / intercourse)
Physical intimacy • Walks, running, jogging • Tournaments • Marathons, skiing, working out • Skating • Surfing • Sailing
8 TYPES OF INTIMACY Affection (not sex) Social Emotional (talk about feelings) Spiritual Physical (not sex) Aesthetic (sharing something beautiful) Intellectual Sexual (talk about facts) (outercourse / intercourse)
MUSIC… FLOWERS…. MOVIES… FOOD…. BEACHES… ANIMALS STARS!. .
8 TYPES OF INTIMACY Affection (not sex) Social Emotional (talk about feelings) Spiritual Physical (not sex) Aesthetic (sharing something beautiful) Intellectual Sexual (talk about facts) (outercourse / intercourse)
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT? ? MOVIES, SPORTS, THE WORLD, VIDEO GAMES, FOOD, CLOTHES, VACATIONS, SCHOOL…. ? ? ?
8 TYPES OF INTIMACY Affection (not sex) Social Emotional (talk about feelings) Spiritual Physical (not sex) Aesthetic (sharing something beautiful) Intellectual Sexual (talk about facts) (outercourse / intercourse)
Spiritual/Values l a r u t Cul Self deve l opm p i h s r o W ent
8 TYPES OF INTIMACY Affection (not sex) Social Emotional (talk about feelings) Spiritual Physical (not sex) Aesthetic (sharing something beautiful) Intellectual Sexual (talk about facts) (outercourse / intercourse)
External Female Genitals
100% SAFE NO SEX – ABSTINENCE OR TOUCHING YOUR OWN BODY – MASTURBATION
SEX ON OUTSIDE OF THE BODY – OUTERCOURSE –
Condoms
8 TYPES OF INTIMACY Affection (not sex) Social Emotional (talk about feelings) Spiritual Physical (not sex) Aesthetic (sharing something beautiful) Intellectual Sexual (talk about facts) (outercourse / intercourse)
Just Say “KNOW” • Use your head • Use your heart • Always be safe www. si. edu/. . . /faq/ nmnh/buginfo/butterfly. htm
BE SAFE • Physically • Emotionally • Sexually
LIFE SITUATIONS • YOU ARE IN YOUR CLASS— A FRIEND IN YOUR CLASS ASKS TO BORROW LUNCH MONEY EVERY DAY… HOW DO YOU FEEL? ? ? WHAT ARE THE PRO’S/CON’S? WHAT IS YOUR GOAL? WHAT ARE SOME POSSIBLE DECISIONS? I’LL DO THIS ____ BUT NOT THIS ___
LIFE SITUATION • YOU ARE INVITED TO A PARTY BY YOUR FRIENDS…THIS PARTY IS AT A HOME YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN TO… HOW DO YOU FEEL? ? WHAT ARE THE PRO’S/CON’S? WHAT IS YOUR GOAL? WHAT ARE SOME POSSIBLE DECISIONS? I’LL DO THIS____/BUT NOT THIS ____
LIFE SITUATION • YOU ARE AT A PARTY AND HAVING FUN YOU ARE DANCING WITH PEOPLE & SOMONE OFFERS YOU A DRINK IN A CUP…YOU ARE THIRSTY…WHAT DO YOU DO? HOW ARE YOU FEELING? WHAT ARE THE PRO’S/CON’S? WHAT ARE SOME POSSIBLE DECISIONS? WHAT CAN YOU SAY?
LIFE DECISIONS • YOU ARE WALKING TO CLASS. YOU MEET SOMEONE WHO YOU LIKE & SEEMS TO LIKE YOU…THIS PERSON WANTS YOUR E=MAIL… HOW DO YOU FEEL? WHAT ARE THE PRO’S? /CON’S? WHAT ARE SOME POSSIBLE DECISIONS? I’ll DO THIS ____ BUT NOT THIS___
LIFE DECISIONS • YOU ARE DATING SOMEONE REALLY NICE. YOU GO TO MOVIES, PARTIES, RESTAURANT. THIS PERSON WANTS TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR BOYFRIEND. THIS PERSON WANTS TO KISS, HOLD HANDS, & WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU…YOU REALLY LIKE THIS PERSON. HOW DO YOU FEEL? WHAT ARE THE PRO’S/CON’S? WHAT ARE SOME POSSIBLE DECISIONS? I’LL DO THIS____BUT NOT THIS ____
OTHER LIFE DECISIONS- • YOUR LIFE SITUATIONS: HOW DO YOU FEEL? WHAT ARE THE PRO’S? /CON’S? WHAT ARE SOME POSSIBLE DECISIONS? I’LL DO THIS _____BUT NOT THIS ____
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