HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS If the family is

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS If the family is the basic unit of society, the building block on which a healthy society is built, it is important to get it right. How do you start? Begin with a healthy relationship.

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Ø Choose a partner wisely and well. We are attracted to people for all kinds of reasons. The remind us of someone from out past. They shower us with gifts and make us feel important.

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS What do you hope for in your marriage? Probably want a healthy combination of the following qualities: Ø Love Ø Intimacy and sexual expression Ø Communication Ø Trust Ø Commitment Ø Equality Ø Compatibility Ø Companionship Ø Respect

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Ø Choose a partner wisely and well. Evaluate a potential partner as you would a friend. Look at their character. Look at their personality. What are their values? What do their relationships with others look like?

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS In courtship one is attracted to the outstanding qualities of his or her dating partner. These might include: Ø Maturity of conscience and moral integrity Ø Ease of communication and deep sharing Ø Signs of future commitment and fidelity Ø Loyalty, trustworthiness, reliability Ø The ability to communicate Ø Flexibility Ø Stability Ø Resilience

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Women rate a man’s being a good listener as especially important while men rate a woman’s willingness to be helpful and supportive as a key quality. Ø Don’t expect anyone to be responsible for your happiness. Too often, relationships fail because someone is unhappy and blames the partner. You have to take the good with the bad. You need to give as well as take.

HEALTH RELATIONSHIPS Ø Know your partner’s beliefs about relationships Different people have different and often conflicting beliefs about relationships. Ø Review your expectations. Be as clear as you can about what is acceptable and what is unacceptable behavior and attitudes, especially about money!

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Ø Approach your relationship as a learning experience. A true relationship will consist of both partners who need to equally contribute. Ø Tell the unarguable truth. Be truthful with yourself and your partner if you want true love. Lies create disconnections between you and your relationship, even if your partner never finds out.

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP Ø Don’t confuse sex with love. Especially in the beginning of a relationship, attraction and pleasure in sex are often mistaken for love. Ø Respect, respect. Inside and outside of the relationship, act in ways so that your partner always maintains respect for you. Respect involves a genuine interest in listening and hearing you partner’s viewpoint and then being receptive and influenced by it.

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS What does respect look like in a relationship? Ø Dialogue – engaging in real communication Ø Attention – being fully present Ø Curiosity – being genuinely interested in others’ thoughts, feelings and fears Ø Healing – nourishing feelings of worthiness Ø Empowerment – enabling others to make their own decisions, nurturing their self confidence and selfreliance Ø Self-respect – helping others feel good about themselves.

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Ø View yourself as a team. Ø Forgive one another. Forgiveness is a decision of letting go of the past and focusing on the present. It’s about taking control of you current situation. . Talk about the issue and try to reach a mutual agreement on how to handle the situation in the future and then commit to it.

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Ø Spend some quality time together. Ø Laugh together Ø Support each other Ø Let your partner know that you appreciate them Ø Do not assume that your relationship will be perfect.