Healthy Relationships Boundaries assertiveness skills not being a

Healthy Relationships Boundaries, assertiveness skills, not being a bystander, responding to harassment Grade 7 -10 Compiled by N. Chelsom District Sexual Health Coordinator, 2018 h c n u La

IN BOFF ES UN KY T FUN 1. BE PRIVATE (don’t share other people’s stories, this is for your age group) 2. RESPECT OTHERS (personal space, differences, diversities) 3. ‘INTERESTING’ No “eww” or “gross” 4. NO PERSONAL QUESTIONS 5. ALL OTHER QUESTIONS ARE OK! 6. THINK LIKE A SCIENTIST, use correct terms for body parts Ground RULES Jens Martensson 2

RELATIONSHIPS THE WAY YOU ARE CONNECTED TO OTHER PEOPLE Jens Martensson 3

EACH RELATIONSHIP NEEDS THESE QUALITIES • RESPECT, PATIENCE, KINDNESS • DEPENDABLE, LISTENING, HONESTY • TRUST, ENJOYMENT, INTIMACY • SELF RESPECT, SELF CARE, POSTIVE SELF TALK Intimacy: sharing of thoughts and feelings and experiences Jens Martensson 4

Healthy relationships take skill and practice! • Talk about how you would demonstrate these healthy qualities at each level • Talk about who teaches people these skills • Besides our family, how else can we learn the skills to have healthy relationships Jens Martensson 5

UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS https: //needhelpnow. ca/pdfs/NHN_relationships_en. pdf Jens Martensson 6

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN IT TURNS UNHEALTHY • • • Gut feelings Instincts Early warning signs Little voice in you Put yourself in their shoes (empathy) Short animation: what is teasing and harassment https: //youtu. be/n. KKDs. Iu. Ma. KU 20 YY Jens Martensson 7

• Sexual Assault or Abuse or Harassment? Watch this short animation: https: //youtu. be/w 8 gslq 85 Xsc -What are some examples of sexual assault or sexual abuse in the video? -What does giving consent look like? -What doesn’t it look like? How do you ask for consent? -What are some examples of situations in which a person cannot consent? -If someone has been sexually assaulted or abused, who should they talk to? Jens Martensson 8

A child under 12 cannot consent to sexual touch Data A Data B Data C Jens Martensson 9

If any of these things happens to a child, it is never their fault! Grown ups and teenagers know the rules about these things It can be confusing and hard for a child to report it. It’s ok to report even years later! Counselors, safe adults, teachers are all good people to report to Model how to access: -Kids Help Phone website and 1 -800 -668 -6868, -VI Crisis Line Jens Martensson 10

Consent • What does giving consent look like? “yes!” “Sure!” “ok!” “I totally want to!” • What doesn’t it look like? Silence, nodding head, looking away • How do you ask for consent? “Would you like to. . ” “can I…” “do you like…. ” “how are you feeling…” “is it ok if we…” • Check body language: look at the message their body is telling you! -crossed arms, looking away, covering their body, ignoring you, mumbling, sighing • Remember you can change your mind at any time about consent, and consenting to one thing doesn’t mean you consent to other things! • Short animation about consent: TEA Consent Video Jens Martensson 11

What are some examples of situations in which a person cannot consent? -Under age -drunk -high -feeling pressured -they are under someone’s power/control *see ‘Is That Legal? !’ for age of consent chart on page 4 Jens Martensson 12

HOW TO STAND UP, BE ASSERTIVE, NOT A BYSTANDER • Being assertive, passive, aggressive: which one are you? • https: //youtu. be/9_0 IJRaa. Xk. M • Be more than a bystander series • https: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=1 Qy. J-a. QPb. YE&list=PLs 3 Lii. UL_7 XQTfw. Uwb 4 wytiw. As_5 ZMAwm Jens Martensson 13

TRICKS TO BECOME MORE ASSERTIVE Jens Martensson 14

QUICK WAYS TO NOT BE A BYSTANDER How anyone can call out violence, stereotyping, racism or discrimination on others Jens Martensson 15

Scenarios 1. Hearing a sexual comment and jokes that make you feel weird 2. Someone trying to flirt with you and you feel uncomfortable 3. A classmate who always bumps into you, brushes against your body and you don’t want it 4. A friend tries to get you to watch something on the computer that’s inappropriate, disgusting, or not for kids 5. An older teen is trying to get your friend to do something dangerous or inappropriate 6. Someone you really like is pressuring you to do things you’re not ready for FUNK Y TUN ES t feelings! u g r u o y to n te Lis Jens Martensson 16

WHERE TO GET HELP Counsellor, teachers, safe adult https: //sexual-education. sd 68. bc. ca/teens/help/ www. kidshelpphone. ca www. vicrisis. ca URE…IT’S S T O N E ’R U IF YO E SAFE H T N O E B O BETTER T R HELP! O F K S A … E SID Jens Martensson 17

For more excellent teaching resources check out https: //sexual-education. sd 68. bc. ca https: //www. facebook. com/sd 68 PHE www. amaze. org www. needhelpnow. ca Is That Legal? ! Jens Martensson 18